“If Pipe was Third Reefing and stormy he could flatten the swells up.”
The noted rabbi Jesus Christ, described as the King of the Jews in a song composed in Israel by Ozzie Wright (runs in the credits in the film below), has become the subject of sizzling debate on the Sterling Spencer and Chubby Ryan podcast Pinch My Salt.
Sterling Spencer, who is thirty-nine and the son of Gulf Coast legend Yancy Spencer III, and who hit worldwide fame in 2010 when he posted a dubbed video of a kid trying to get Jeremy Flores’ autograph at J-Bay, with Flores strangling Spencer at the Surfer Poll awards the same year in revenge, debates with sexy cuz Ryan what sort of surfing equipment Jesus would surf if he arrived, second coming etc, today.
The comic pair riff back and forth, Ryan suggests Jesus would work at the Jamie O’Brien surf school cause he so nice, Sterling says he would be a cruisy longboarder.
“Like a super nice Joel Tudor, if Joel Tudor was nice,” says Ryan who also says longboarder because Jesus grew up on the Sea of Galilee, very poor surf conditions, “But he could make the storms happen.”
Sterling says Jesus would live at Waikiki, helping learners, most of the year but would occasionally hit the North Shore “to show people what he can do. If Pipeline was Third Reefing and stormy he could flatten the swells up.”
Like most Pinch my Salts, this sails beautifully close to the wind on occasion and even features BeachGrit’s own Human Viagra Raimana Van Bastolaer.
I don’t think excessive to say, lightly essential.
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Giddyup Derek, WSL sold the surf ranch according to that lame web site.
Easily the best podcast in surfing
What about that time he went back to the surf shop with his snapped legrope?
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Sawyer’s brother, Taj, gosh, he just Loves all-American cowboy culture!
He’s got a big 4×4 and he’s fitted bull horns to the grill! Wow, we remember when he won an event and rode down the beach on his own horse while wearing a big, white cowboy hat!
Just letting the crowd know exactly where they stand.
Taj is good friends with Griff ‘n’ Croz, they all just Love to golf together and have fun responsibly, gosh.
Jesse Starling’s down on the glass with Pete Hegseth – whaddya got for us Jess…?
Good point!
There are so many assumptions going on about Jesus in that AI rendition.
That he was white.
That he was gay for Joel.
That he was a regular foot.
I am highly skeptical.
Would go for some kind of crossover plank.
Alright, cunts. The big day is here. Bayern Munich versus Paris Saint-Germaine in the second leg of their semifinal matchup. It’s what we’ve all been waiting for. Just 10 minutes to go.
Crack open a Bonsoy, put some Pearl Jam on the record player and tune in. Or get fucked.
Fuck pearl jam and fuck bayern munich! Bunch of cunts.
Alle aĺlèè × 100
Well, normally don’t always want to mix faith with surf, but since Derek brought it up. Little quote that was out there.
“We often think of Jesus as gentle, meek, and lowly – and He is. But that’s not the full picture. The Bible tells us one day He will return.
Not as a suffering servant, but as a conquering King, judging with righteousness.
Where every hidden thing will be brought into the light. The world often mocks the idea of judgment. It celebrates rebellion and calls it freedom. But real freedom isn’t found in resisting God
– it’s found in surrendering to Him before it’s too late.
Christ’s coming return is meant to warn you!
Because on that day, there’ll be two kinds of people: those who trusted Him, and those who didn’t.
Heaven or hell.
And today – right now – you still have the opportunity to choose”.
“the first sign of wisdom is to fear God’s Wrath”……..the Creator , and in the end….Judgement day……..
“The fear of the Lord-is the beginning of wisdom”.
Proverbs 9:10 I believe
I choose… not to be brainwashed.
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he would definitely employ his superior air power to drop bombs on any lineups he wanted to surf and clear them out without regard to collateral damage
then he would charge the lineup with a fleet of jet skis and tow in while flashing his massive crusader cross tats
upload all of it to his YT page
and sue any reporters who questioned his tactics
because we all know that Jesus would strike down with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to capture and destroy his waves
I’ve saw some footage of Milla Coco Brown at the snapper contest. I truly hope that she’s able to step up a level and join the tour, as she charges hard.
Also hope that Natural Selection runs again in some large, tropical surf and that they get some mental rippers to join the contest.
She’s got a slightly off style in the water. But man does she shred bat shit crazy on a skateboard.
haven’t seen her surf live.
there’s a girl just up the road, Leilani Zoric, who might be a world champ.
WWJD? His character would be to revolutionize shortboarding🎶🤟
Whatever Tom Curren rides!
Word !
Check out Caity Simmers in the new redbull movie. Lots of Curren in her style and movement.
I dunno…. she’s not stomping the old guard like I anticipated
Yea. She’s far from it. But, so far, she’s got the style and the trophy. In time, she may become a more well-rounded competitor.
And NO girls will be stomping anyone in the near future. They’ll all have solid competition with each other. Someone , like Erin, Gabby or Molly may win back to back titles, but I can’t see a period of dominance like what we’ve seen from others in the past.
Red Bull definitively shows Molly Picklum best female surfer in the world, daylight second.
Lol.
who’s close to her?
E brooks is the best female surfer ive ever seen
yeah, kay.
horrible crab style though in anything except Indo lefts.
Looks great , has no doubt in any size or reef. Just wants to destroy.
mollys style is awkward.
lol
neither is EB – their free surf clips don’t really show up in comps yet.
EB was cooking on her backhand in pre comp at Snapper, then that person disappeared when the horn sounded.
dude, Caity Simmers is a world champion.
Was mainly referring to Erin. But Caity will have to turn it up if she wants another one.
Both her and EB still young and need to figure out contest strategy or, surfs heats like its a freesurf.
Ethan was terrible when he first got on tour.
it’s a size issue.
tiny girl no spray.
and loses the plot and gives up like Dane used to.
Amazing what those movie makers can come up with given the budgets that brands like RedBull make available.
He’s definitely be able to make enough waves to handle a crowd of 5 thousand.
you’d think these guys as self proclaimed Christians would know that Jesus would obviously ride a fish
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A trinity of fins also seems appropriate
would have to be a thruster with same sized fins to be consistent with church dogma. you’re going straight to hell if you shape a board for Jesus and that center fin is smaller (and Jesus would only ride glass ons).
this is theologically sound. the real question is what would the bottom countour be
Cross shaped single fin?
Dudes a buzzkill. He’d be up in the tower raising the blackball flag.
Jesus is a hell of a lifeguard when the worst shit is going unnoticed. NOT! but he still is prey.
from J. Tull:
“Our Father high in heaven
Smile down upon your son
Who’s busy with his money games
Or his women and his gun
Oh, Jesus save me
And the unsung western hero
He killed an Indian or three
And then he made his name in Hollywood
To set the white man free
Oh, Jesus save me
If Jesus saves, well, he better save himself
From the gory glory seekers who use his name in death, aw!
Oh, Jesus save me.”
The J lord would ride a 15ft solid wood hand carved finless board to remind us of the pure essence of surfing is to be found in the basics.
Jesus would ride a Pyzel Holy Ghost model and share the lineup with his Father.
Just put down my deposit on your birthday digs. Gal did a last minute turn and now staying elsewhere on the island too. $10 more night, more Vego friendly, solar for fans at night, separate rooms and photos of beds with sheets on them! To be honest she wasn’t impressed with the surf house at all, but I just hammered on about staying right on the wave (instead of a 10 minute walk). Always with the compromise!
Congrats! So come back summer of 2027 just you and bring your son and hang out! My name is already down for that summer and the dates we’ll be there. Getting pushback myself from my wife and 2 kids–they don’t surf, or at least not well, so are getting cold feet about 2 weeks on a remote island with no electricity and nothing to do but be in the tropics. Tough life…Anyway, they’ll probably do the first week and then head back to Sumatra to Aceh or somewhere and do some more sight seeing while I surf my brains out solo for week 2.
The inside looks good to learn on. Taking kids with boards a good way to expand your quiver too!
But yeah having mopey teens not keen on an authentic travel experience could be a drag. Leave them all at home and turn it into a BG surf trip!
Oh they’re open to it. Just not two weeks of it.
Taha’s?
Clearly, Jesus would ride a soft-top , bringing a caravan of sheep/disciples into the line-up with him on a shoulder-high, glass-off afternoon, walking on water, thus taking every second wave of the set, leaving you with the last wave, while seven of his sheep flounder on the inside, ditching 8-foot Wavestorms for you to navigate after your bottom turn.
And if you dared to complain or do something he doesn’t approve of he’ll flip shit upside down and rant about this being his dad’s house…
Personally can’t stand Sterlings voice. Just talk normally for fucks sake.
Saying that, his Tudor interview recently was quite entertaining
cannot listen for more than 30 seconds of that weird, whiny little whisper he talks in.