"You can have them chopped off. But it’s very painful and takes a long time. I’d sooner not hear what you’re saying.”
There are two medical conditions that mark serious surfers: pterygium and external auditory canal exostoses better known as “surfer’s eye” and “surfer’s ear.” They are, both, uncomfortable but also the marks of a serious surfer so worn with small pride. The surfer with pterygium looking perpetually stoned as his eyelid grinds like sandpaper over his eyeball. The surfer with exostoses cupping a hand around ear trying not to miss the entire conversation around the dinner table. Each making a little show so others know what they have sacrificed to live the serious surfer life.
Well, the British comedian Harry Enfield recently bragged, publicly, about his surfer’s ear. Appearing on the Off Menu podcast, the 65-year-old declared, “I’m deaf, partially deaf. And because I swim in Highgate Ponds, I’ve got stalactites in my ears. You can have them chopped off. But it’s very painful and takes a long time. I’d sooner not hear what you’re saying.”
Surfers, of course, use “drilling” instead of “chopping off” and have you ever been drilled?
Doctors recommend seeing a hearing specialist, first, in order to determine if the situation can be left alone or if a hearing aid might help but a canalplasty, or drilling, is usually the go-to treatment.
After the procedure, serious surfers must stay out of the water for between six and eight weeks. It is advised, during that time, he or she tell everyone from the person in line at coffee shop to the neighbor way down the street that the reason he or she is not surfing, is because of the drilling.
Opening lines might include:
“Sure wish I could get wet, today, but just got drilled…”
“Man, I just got drilled so have to stay out of the water for a month…”
“Argh, I’d be out there but I just got drilled…”
“Can you repeat that? I just got drilled…”
Pterygium is, of course, the more preferable as everyone can see the core-ness without it needing to be explained.
As you were.
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85% left ear, 95% right. I have a theory. The prevailing wind on the west coast being from the north ish affected the right ear more. Oh, and pterygiums growing over both pupils. Weed? I don’t know what you’re talking about.
My left had to get drilled even though here on the west coast as well. Theory is leaving sessions quickly and often driving to said engagements with drivers side window down. Ready for a re-drill on same left side, right ear still holding.
Then theres surfers skin, nothing to brag about
there’s also cold water shrinkage….nothing to brag about either.
Might be just you, mine’s still pretty thick.
Especially your head
silly me, I thought when you were saying: “I just got drilled” you were talking about a serious wipe out…..or a surfers excuse at an early morning surf check, after a night of some heavy drilling…..which leads to a question for commenters:
Worst “drilling” you’ve ever had that led to a break from surfing?
If you have your ears drilled, you will take a break from surfing.
That’s why few opt in
I was trying to make a funny, but…….one time I blew out my eardrum. couldn’t surf for months.
Still have trouble equalizing.
Getting drilled isn’t fun but there are a lot of worse things, like going deaf. I’ve had my right drilled once and my left drilled twice. But going permanent hearing loss is worse, so I’ll probably end up getting my right drilled again when it gets really bad. I’m not sure if it’s core but I seem to have a skill for growing bones in my ear.
Do you wear ear plugs? I was very close to needing to get drilled like 6-7 years ago. If I got water in my ear they would close up for months if I was surfing a lot. Started being religous about ear plugs and kept things at bay since.
Yeah, I do now. I’ve got some fitted plugs that do a pretty good job. I’m hoping to stave off getting my right ear re-done for a while.
OOOOOIIII 007, where’s me welcome back ya dog?! Hahahaha
lol. I can’t believe they let you outa the clink. Welcome back big dog.
I can’t believe my return has led to Negs either walking away or getting the flick, didn’t realise I was that big a cunt!! And thanks heaps for all the love and support brother, any time you want to come down here my joint is your joint sir
My ears are at 98 and 99 percent.
At one point about 4 years ago they wouldn’t clear and I thought it was time, but after a period of soaking them with vinegar the ears cleared and they have been okay since.
Drilling scary yo.
Wow I thought my 98/ 95 was impressive/dero, you win brother.
Last summer I spent about 1 week with one ear completely shut, with water sand etc. I was going crazy, like living in a bubble. Went to see a specialist, doctor tells me why people go to the beach anyway, it was a modern pastime, a 20th century thing. Mankind never did it for 10.000 years why start now. Both ears needed intervention, i suggested doing both at the same time, only one recovery period, less time away from water, and cheaper. Booked the surgery, waited for the confirmation call which actually never came. Went to see another doctor and presto, guy says it’s entirely down to me, no immediate need for surgery.
Who can you trust?
Third and fourth opinion. Doctors are the worst. The current medical system doesn’t incentivise them to put their patients interest first.
Whatever the problem may be, they’re just happy to milk out my insurance.
People are cunts so I’m pretty happy not to have to listen to them anyway.
Spear fisherman killed by 4.5M white at Albany, West Oz today.
https://www.news.com.au/travel/travel-updates/incidents/diver-attacked-by-shark-off-albany-western-australia/news-story/89d1865f95b54988f222b630b392661b
The fact you can surf so much you end up physically blocking out the real world if both a gift and a blessing
Had my ears drilled a couple of decades ago…
They stuff your ears with some kind of wadding afterwards, so if you do both ears at the same time, you’re kinda deaf for a week or two, till they take it out.
And unfortunately, it can grow back.
And I hated those pro (ear) plugs you can wear.
So, some 20 odd years later, I’m kinda back where I started, (with a little added hearing loss from construction work, and the tinnitus.
I can kinda live with it, but I do get tired of asking people: what was that? could you say that one more time? One chick got kinda mad at me cause I was ‘leaning’ in closer to ‘hear’ her, and she misinterpreted it.
And I’m not getting a hearing aid.
Life goes on….
My dad just got a hearing aid, in his 70s, and he’s really happy with it. Give it some more thought, if it gets worse. Don’t have to wear it all the time.
Wait, they drilled both at the same time?!? thats a big no no here.
Thought the same thing…. just like hip replacements or knee, one at a time.
about 5 years ago a couple of French surfer mates of mine….had both ears done at the sametime…but no drilling……..they have a system where they cut the growths at the base , with a sort of scalpel/chisel….no drilling…and back in the water in 3 weeks….so drilling is old tech….the new tek, no side affects!
I don’t know, everybody calls it drilling, but when I had my ears done over 20 years ago, it was with a little chisel as you described, doc filled me in on it before hand.
Yup, both, wanted to get it done and over with—with the least amount of time out of the water….
I asked, but incase of problems they wanted one problem not two.
if you ever watch movies made by the streaming giants then this video essay is interesting. Definitely not “must see” but can be watched if you want something light while killing time at night.
Usually one at a time in case of complications but you can get the second done shortly after but then that’s a long time out of the water
The not hearing is manageable. The screaming alarm-clock buzzing of the tinnitus not so.
So we share that in common as I have 80% hearing loss in one ear paired with tinnitus screaming all day. But I learned to live with tinnitus 30 years ago but man it was a hell of an adjustment period!
Haha
That’s me too
My right one for over 45 yrs after a childhood sailing and storm surfing
Then rock n roll didn’t help hahaha
I’ve never tried to pin it on one event or cumulative exposure but I suspect the following didn’t help:
– Ruptured ear drum and concussion from water skiing at age19(plus 6 other concussions)
– 8 summers of working construction in HS and college
– Working in ski shops tuning skis through college and for 4 yrs after didn’t help as the tuning machines are high pitched and loud
– Concerts and really loud home speakers surely didn’t help
– Spent 12 years on airplanes 35/40 weeks a year for work
It’s maddening. I’m getting my second ear drilled next month. I also find getting them regularly cleaned helps reduce the volume of the buzzing.
One down, one to go for me. I’ve been the poster boy for what not do do. Hairdryer on high, vacuum up against my ear to suck it out, jamming shit in there, putting liters of alcohol drops in them. All that only inflamed the ear infections and if the bone growth is over 90% it just swells shut easy pleasey. For me at its worst it stayed blocked for 3-5 weeks every time. Worst was one trip to Indo and both ears blocked and ringing, could hardly hear and was reduced to sitting like a mute in the corner.
They sorta fucked up with my surgery (got a chunk out where it shouldn’t be and shit builds up and I still get infections} but at least now it doesn’t block up.
Blu-tac for the win.
You tried the hydrogen peroxide 3% ? Lie on your side, tip a few drops in, it fizzes and pops as it melts the wax. Roll on the other side and it all drizzles out.
Do it regularly.
Been there done that. Doesn’t stop the bone from growing.
There’s a point where all the home remedies are just like pissing in the wind. If they work great, means you only have a mild bone growth.
Sullivan no longer chairman at West Ham. Thank god.
Hope that they can get some proper football people in. Manchester United hired a fella from Man City and he’s done wonders to turn around the player cult at the club, even while dealing with a dick such as Sir Jim Radcliffe as his boss.
The administrators are so important.
That stuff didn’t work for me either. Mine would close up for months at a time when surfing a lot. Good for tuning out the misses and sleeping but miserable otherwise. Ear plugs have been my saving grace.
I did the earplug thing for abit but found blutack easier and better.
This was the answer for me, ear plugs and semi regular hydrogen peroxide cleans. It’s like a spa for your ear canal, I actually enjoy doing it now. The first sign of any glue and it’s off to the ear spa for me. I dont even bother going for the ear suction clean anymore, dont need it. The nurse at the ear clinic was the one that originally told me about using peroxide.
I’ve had the ol’ double ear infection Indo trip as well, not a pleasant experience, would not reccomend. It’s the humidity, your ears wont dry out over there, one surf without ear plugs is all it takes.
Anyway, Dr told me nearly 20 years ago I needed the drill immediately, 98% and 95% blocked. I’m glad I never got the op, with management I haven’t had an ear infection since that doctors visit.
Try using this to keep them clear. Using ear plugs is good for keeping the water out but I feel like it pushes and other crud further in. This stuff is good for clearing it.
https://www.chemistwarehous…
check out……endoscopic and laser‑assisted techniques.
Don’t have that in NZ. I’ve heard of guys going back home to South Africa for it or getting a holiday in Japan and tagging it on.
Drill under the public system so free for me. 13-15k for private or if I fall off the waiting list
I’m guessing Chas got drilled, hopefully in the ear only.
Offering layups again!
what? speak up sonny!!!!