Surf great Kelly Slater blasted for raising children in “offensively bland” home

"It's a cream-colored void."

The 11 time professional surfing world champion, Kelly Slater, is being dragged online, today, for planting his family in what is being called an “offensively bland” home. The somewhat retired 54-year-old was snapped, with young son Tao and pregnant girlfriend Kalani, enjoying a beautiful family moment dressed in khaki pants and a white t-shirt and sitting on a Malone Sofa which, according to manufacturer Coco Republic “sets the tone.”

According to the celebratory social media post, the sofa’s “generous proportions and softly cushioned arms inviting a slower, more considered way of living. A place to gather, unwind, and connect, it brings a quiet sense of comfort to the room, shaping an environment that feels effortless, warm, and inherently made for family.”

The Slater-Millers chose theirs in an off-white, slightly darker than the white walls. The sofa is on a burlap-toned area rug covering blonde composite floors. In the middle, is a mahogany asymmetrical coffee table with a coffee table book, at its center, simply titled “create.” There is also a vase of white flowers.

There is a coffee-colored throw blanket on the couch and a decorate OK surfboard either mounted to, or leaning up on, the wall. On the adjacent wall is a framed picture of two whales.

Across the room, there is a larger piece of art, which might be described as “bank lobby” hanging over a marble-topped credenza, also in mahogany. A vase of eucalypts leaves is on one edge.

Stuffed between the credenza and a small wall panel are nine or ten surfboards which all appear decorative.

There is a five-foot tall floor lamp with a wooden base and cream shade.

A blonde wicker-backed chair, dimpled bronze side table and hint of a blonde dining room table fill out the space.

All in all, the room is so sterile that it represents nothing.

Explore here.