New tape shows Paris Hilton getting cosy with hunky Tahitian described as “Human Viagra”

"The subtle whiff of his armpit tuft, his hot hollow, enough to make even the strongest man, a Matthew McConaughey say, feel faint."

The just-turned 45 hotel heiress and sex tape star Paris Hilton has long been a surfing devotee. The lightly busty blonde was shown the ropes of the sport of Queens many years ago during a tour of LA by the noted big-wave surfer Koby Abberton and even longer ago, she partied, as they say, with surfing Peter Pan Taj Burrow. 

Now, and just released via Instagram, we find Paris Hilton being coached into the famous manmade tubes of Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch, which is now owned by Los Angeles-based Global Mutual Properties Limited, by Tahitian heartthrob Raimana Van Bastolaer. 

Comments are mostly positive and when some Dudes For Kamala gets in and starts talkin’ class struggles etc, Surfing for all, except for the elite rich please, Raimana lightly schools the man.

“Always for all!!! Love you more.”

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A post shared by Raimana Van Bastolaer (@raimanaworld)

Raimana van Bastolaer, how can I count all the waves I love thee , from your adolescence spent driving a little bodyboard at the modest black sand beachbreak Paparā to towing the biggest Teahupoo could throw at you to spending the last ten years delivering the sweetest gift of all to the world, the gift of surfing.

Raimana is a man of middle age who will surf behind the beginner at the Slater pool, steadying them with his strong brown hands, issuing instructions, support. They tremble and their hearts thump, their knees feel weak, the subtle whiff of his armpit tuft, his hot hollow, enough to make even the strongest man, a Matthew McConaughey say, feel faint as Raimana’s hands guide them to the hole.

As the wave gets sucky, Raimana tells them to compress their hips into the correct lowered stance allowing the learner, and this has included Ivanka Trump, Cindy Crawford (“Raimana is human viagra”) to enjoy a vision that used to be reserved for a wildly select few.

Waves of immeasurable pleasure follow.