"Daniel expressed his love of vodka, beer and playing the banjo."
When I was a boy, nothing quite got my juices running like American tall tales. Bigger than life heroes who carved rivers with axes, smashed modern technology with bare hands, lassoed tornados etc. John Henry the steel drivin’ man, Pecos Bill, Paul Bunyan and his blue ox Babe, the peace lovin’ Johnny Appleseed, Davey Crockett etc. My folks must have had a record that told their stories, or some such, and I could not get enough and counted each a true hero.
As one ages, though, child-like awe and belief in mythical feats unfortunately recedes and we are left with boring old plausibility.
Boo.
Well, a bigger than life champion has just popped on the scene to renew our belief in anything being possible once more and let me introduce Daniel Ray Ballance from Quartzite, Arizona who was arrested yesterday for breaking a window on a Union Pacific Railroad locomotive, climbing inside, continuing to the roof wherein he surfed naked, the sheriff’s office releasing a statement reading:
For those of you who had the unfortunate experience of seeing this gentleman surfing naked on top of a moving locomotive yesterday, I want you to know that he was arrested on felony and misdemeanor charges.
The arresting officer shared that Daniel, “expressed his love of vodka, beer and playing the banjo. Unfortunately, we had to separate him from those loves and the train ride.”
I mean, seriously, the naked vodka swillin’ banjo playin’ man who surfs naked on trains with the last name Ballance?
I believe once again!