"The heart has reasons that reason cannot know."
Yesterday, the sun popped out, in New York City, and I went to Penn Station to ride the train to Asbury Park, New Jersey. I fell hard in love with Bruce Springsteen’s hometown almost a decade ago when, alongside the filmmaker Jack Boston, we were there to shoot the young local legend Tommy Ihnken for BeachGrit’s New Jersey Wetsuit Fairytale. It featured covers of the aforementioned Springsteen sung by Vaughn Dead and Pauly B and stands, to this day, as a critical work of 2018 surf art.
As it turns, a wiser Tommy Ihnken would be picking me up from the train station in Long Branch and we were going to discuss his, and partner Florian Meyer’s, new dumbphone version of surf forecasting on the weekly recording of The Grit! podcast. You can and should read about it here.
Driving back into Asbury my heart fluttered uncontrollably. Ihnken spoke about how the town had changed, a bit, money had come in and gussied up the blue collar charm, a bit, but all I saw was pure, undiluted raw as hell sexy. We stopped in for a coffee by a tattoo parlor. There were three very cool Jersey men sitting on a bench out front each with tattoos. We went into Glide, a very cool surf shop, to record. We drove to the beach and paddled out into fun 2-3 windswell. A summer surf school, run by other cool Jersey men, was in the water but it didn’t matter. We had a snack at a cool harbor-adjacent seafood diner before I caught the ferry back to the City.
A wild squall broke through the sky right as I boarded and as I sat, gazing out at the gray, I touched my cheek and couldn’t tell if the liquid, there, was rain or tears.
What is it about Asbury Park that whispers so tenderly to me? That makes me recklessly cheat on Cardiff-by-the-Sea? I can’t exactly say. The heart has reasons that reason cannot know.
Maybe its the sausage rolls.
Yum.
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I’m still not getting New Joisey.
sounds like Byron Bay with worse surf and a shitty climate.
Just makes me think of the Sopranos. Low on surf content round here Longy, wanna hear about me first time over at Chopes mate?
As long as you didn’t do a Gauguin and give all the ladies syphilis. Edit2
AS a fucking dumb cunt I have no idea what that means mate hahaha
This painter cunt goes to Tahiti and bangs a bunch of chicks and gives em…everything.
What a fucking dog!!
yeah, sure.
then I’ll tell you about the time I got me best Evers at Chopes and got spat out in front of Old Baldy
Drop some nuggets! Even Dogsnuts has had some articles here! Many retracted though !
Xox
Well fuck it you’ve pissed on my parade now, we may as well just hear yours hahaha
I spent a fair amount of summers there and rode my first waves there…bodyboard at 3, standup at 6.
It’s nothing like Byron, in fact it makes Byron seem like heaven on earth.
It’s straight sandy beachbreak, some jetties here and there. Pay to get on the beach in the summer or buy a beach pass that must be pinned to your trunks. High School aged lifeguards on the beaches. Laws you must wear a leash. Some of the filthiest beaches you’ve ever seen, at least a few decades ago. A few dismembered bodies washing up on the beach every once in a while.
Northern parts – Monmouth, Deal, etc have “beach club” culture where the beach out front of the club is private. Further south you have more of a “Jersey Shore” culture… boardwalks, carnival games, rollercoasters lining the beach…Atlantic City, high rise casinos. Urban beachside grittiness here and there trickles down from Jersey City/NYC – at one time reminiscent of East London, SA post-apartheid.
But the wintertime tubes are epic – probably some of the best surf on the North American continent.
First surf in boardies in ages, I forgot how glorious it is. The rig is feeling good lately and I was happy to see my hip thrusts have me catching up to Sweet Cheeks.
At home or you went south ?
Home!!
Off topic…I think I just found out why some yanks Don’t like the term ” seppos”
Los sapos is pretty close…
means snitches
Really ?
And I just thought it was cos they didn’t like to be called ‘shit and piss-filled buried concrete tanks’.
Is ‘snitches’ worse than that ?
Criiikey…
Yes, yes it is.
More South American, occasionally in mexico, but more rare. Toads is the literal translation
Cunts is a cunt. Then you’ve got the various slang terms like PEDANTIC CUNT
Xx <3
had a bad trip at BS concert In Anaheim: union workers saw my MAGA hat and watch and called me a pedo. Now that really hurt but told them I love Springsteen and hate George floyd. Their big moster truck,ready to crush my Carmen GIa suddenly stopped the agression and guided me safely to my next location, Sparky’s bar and grill and bought rounds. Asked then if they’d heard of Salema Masakela. “Yeah, we hate that sports announcer and his friend redneck Kelly and tonight were going to Lemoore to put algae in his pool.”
“Tha Raaaaangers had a homecoming in Harlem late last night”
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You think you know how bad institutionalised stupidity is getting in Australia ?
Buckle up, Sweetpea…you ain’t seen nothing yet.
https://x.com/DrDemography/status/2075349904772497496?s=20
I won’t go to x. Takes too long getting through the adblockers and no script. What’s it about ?
Just the ABC claiming that kiddy phuking is caused by us not making enough sacrifices to the sun god.
Oh fuck
It’s your fault because you don’t car pool.
Hope you’re pleased with yourself.
And no paper straw use.
Xox
Abc is stacked with right wing cunts now.
Xox
Heard Sal Masekela was visiting Asbury Park to hate white people, hate Asians and mostly hate Jews and while at it got some hate from whites.
Been awhile since I heard a good sal masakela blast.
Hey is that Mitch cunt dead or not?
Xox
I know how triggering a black man telling a story of open racism must be for you and your flock.
Any grumpy locals there who wish it was still Old Jersey?
Tell me more about the sausage rolls please Chas. Are they the same as the delicacies we consume down here or some American abortion full of that fake cheese and so on?
You haven’t known indulgence if you haven’t succumbed to the seduction of melted American cheese.
Ah Bog glad you’re here cuz I’m facing an important life decision and would love to get your deep thinking input. Like yourself I am an olive skinned fella, incredibly handsome with a thankfully still full head of hair. The problem is that once dark brown hair is now quickly turning grey. I didn’t mind the mature salt n pepper look but we are moving past that now and I don’t feel ready to be a full grey growler.
So as I was brushing me teeth and looking in the mirror this morning I suddenly thought I’m gunna fucking dye it but then instantly went na I can’t take myself to that level of vanity and gayness. If I was married I wouldn’t even consider it but a man has to eat as they say. Any thoughts bruz……
Get fucked!!!
It’s either grey or gay!!!
I’m a bald 30 something so I’m the wrong dude to ask but my salt and pepper stubble has never prevented the ladies from wanting to pucker up as far as I can tell.
Trust me—dyeing your hair as a dude always looks skitz. Speaking from my nuts on this one.
On my end of things I have a Georgian lady asking to meet up in Rio next Febs when in reality I’m pining like Dogsnuts for another. I reckon fuck meeting up with an Eastern European in brazzolandia, just for the sake of being immature and close minded
beware of the “east of the wall” ladies Boggy. if you’re lucky, all they’ll do is break your heart. if you’re unlucky, they’ll steal your credit cards and run up tens of thousands of dollars in fraudulent charges right before they break your heart.
Aw damn, so that random email I got from someone I never met is too good to be true..????
From the Madrid chapter. More a one time thing. You have a personal experience with the ex-Soviets?
A Bulgarian girl back in college. Have buddies who made similar mistakes back in the day. Common thread was that they’ll leave you the moment they think they might have a better option.
Well good thing I’m not interested. I guess if I was dating someone and felt like I had a better option with someone more compatible I’d do the same
I perceive that you would at least have the decency to tell someone it’s over before going with that better option though.
Absolutely. Particular distinction!
She wasn’t a shot putter was she mate?
Well said my young American friend, but were you really contemplating flying all the way over to Brazil for a root? Sometimes I can barely be fucked to drive up to the Goldy if the chance presents itself haha
Haha nah just a bit of banter.
Follow your heart into oblivion and damn the cost!
Xox
You are such a romantic and I love you even more because of it my dear moderator
DON’T DO IT
Unless you’re prepared to live with much mocking and laughter, both to your face and behind your back.
Embrace the experienced silver fox look, I too am now mainly grey, but find many don’t mind it at all.
P.S.
Though if you go ahead and dye it you have to get before and after photos for us to mock and laugh at…
Wise words as ever brother Beefy and I think I was just experiencing a mild midlife crisis for a cuppla hours. Mini is away in Europe with her mum for a month and without my beloved little sidekick I have the sort of over active mind that without stimulation can reach some pretty wild places. At least it is nearly midday so I can enjoy a VB tally to quieten down the voices xx
you struggle with life
Not at all Hip, everyday is a new adventure
Just the fact he is even thinking about it makes me disapointed.
just go with terrible 90-style frosted tips. you’ll be fighting all the eager sheilas off with a stick!
A fine idea Com but I am going to stick with the aging George Clooney look!!
I’m a bit jelly that I can never rock that though. Blonde hair tends to hide most of that until you’re almost dead, assuming you even make it to your 70s.
Still blonde to the roots? Not grey when you cut it super short? How old are you?
Couldn’t tell you. Haven’t cut it buzz-cut short since college. Old enough to have seen and somewhat understood the fall of the Soviet Union.
Ahhhh so you’re a blonde Com, very hot
if you need dye to keep it going, you never really had it to begin with
embrace your inner silver surfer
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Reverse image search incoming
Rocks has been known to hang in a random, historical surf mecca while dressed to the nines.
ha
I always thought you were an incredibly handsome man Rocks in that booky academic kind of way. I always imagine you as one of those suave, sophisticated characters in a John Grisham novel full of that Southern charm and now I have the proof xx
that’s my good side
You can tell he is a true “Waterman”, just from his happiness and squint lines from a lifetime of staring into the the Sun, while being sprayed with Salt Water.
Way to be Legend
def got the lines!
Never trust a man that dyes his hair
Or his pubes
True again!!
Haha, Pubes can’t even go grey because they are kept in TOTAL darkness, along with my Nose Hairs, and my new freeloaders, Ear hairs.
I will go check, anyway
Be right back
WHAT THE THE FUCK
GREY PUBES NOW?
I found a few grey pubic hairs. It didn’t bother me, but the other people in the lift seemed concerned.
True mate
Go Gray with grace SC, just like Nick Lowe, Rocks and of course your boy Picard. BTW, had a nice time surfing Doheny before dinner late afternoon on my 9 6 Herbie Fletcher
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Always stoked to hear about me fellow Gritters down here getting some waves Picard. Stunning winters day here today and had a real fun surf this morning with barely a single cunt near me yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew
One of my Aussie mates kids head back down your way for ski races in a few weeks. I’m ready for winter!
ageism becomes irony
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An all time classic show. I was a couple years too young to fully appreciate it, but some of the skits were golden. Especially, Homie. That clown made 11 year old me laugh so much.
LMAO. This is way worse than using a front pad from time to time.
I say to give it a go, for a laugh, mate.
But dye it sandy blonde instead of your usual hair colour. And do it just before Halloween so that you can say that you were just fuckin around. Doing unusual things that don’t negatively affect other people is one of the joys that can break up the monotony of life. The ladies will love the new sandy blonde you.
I love that “Cheese” in a can stuff
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Yeah you know a thing or two about smoking sausage…
If you ever wonder why they’re so fucked, just look at what they’re feeding their kids. The kid with the bullhorn.
Spain March on to the semis and Belgium go home. A keeper mistake after he was subbed on the injured first choice keeper.
Vaaaamooooos
Inspirational . Weird ya?
Philadelphia might have been a more apropriate choice?
Good one, Chas. Enjoying the travel pieces. A bit longer time spent on the description of the train ride and the ferry would have been nice. Even if just a sentence or two more.
Yes Barney you’re right there, it would’ve been good if he’d gone into more detail of the journey, and even included a map to show the train terminal, ferry wharf, historic sites and best/worst pubs/restaurants, BnB’s/motels etc, as reference for any BG commenters who may wish to travel there in the future.
A bit slack of him really, and how do we know he’s really there without a photo ?
For all we know he shat this sharticle out in few minutes on the toilet at home…
They pair the opioids with cheap red wine in Asbury.
Come on Chas! While you wax poetically, lets be real honest as not even a bootlicking, addled Springsteen fan would ever confuse Asbury for Cardiff. By the way, did you walk by the office of the cosmetic surgeon who made Bruce’s supple, shiny face and skin look like the Joker?
This edit of Jordy and some other South African dudes is worth a watch.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nS_QACwfLc
I like the video but a personal pet peeve is if you’re using jet ski assists you need to show that. If I see a single wave where they have a ton of speed on a wave too flat to catch I will assume every wave that doesn’t show the takeoff was a tow in.
Pro surfing!!
pro woz surfing. Jeezyous Americans rapin the English language
I thought this planet cunts collab would hold us through the year deeks and I am sending you thoughts and prayers
Oh yeah ! That’s binding !
What?, you can see them taking off and its fuken critical!!
Fucking intense ! Is that cave rock. ?