Much potential horror.
There are many ways to die whilst surfing. Shark attack, being on the wrong end of some surf rage, seal attack, bonking head off reef, bonking head off board, seal attack. The most embarrassing, though, almost just unfurled in New Smyrna, Florida late last week.
For it was there, in the shark bite capital of the world, that a plane pulling a banner crashed into the water.
Gary Lieberman was there on the shore witnessing, and shared, “I heard the sputtering and I looked and like I said, the plane was coming right at the beach. The pilot did an outstanding job putting the plane down in a safe area. No swimmers, and he got out!” I don’t think anybody really expected anything like this today.”
Albert Proctor, another beachgoer, added, “It was just unusual, you don’t expect to see something like that while you’re out here at the beach trying to enjoy the sun.”
Dennis Robinson also observed but, unlike Lieberman and Proctor, ran over to help, though the pilot was already out of the plane when he arrived. “I know everybody’s willing to help if they can,” he said. “When you see something like this happen, reach out and give a hand if you can.”
Miraculously no one was hurt, though back to embarrassment. Most of the banner planes around San Diego are pulling advertisements for Cheetah’s Gentlemen’s Club or High Noon vodka seltzer and imagine getting tangled in one of those then dragged to Davey Jones’ Locker. Much horror. I’d imagine the banner planes flying over New Smyrna are pulling even tawdrier business and imagine the eulogy.
“He died doing what he loved wrapped in a Bottom’s Up Club flag.“
The Bottom’s Up Club has a 1.3 star review on Yelp.
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The question that demands answering is would you rather die in Cheetahs or in New Smyrna?
This absolutely reeks of pure swillnuttery!
Obviously one of the swillnuts googled plane, another one found a dud, custom fixed and built debacle (mysteriously at a bargain price on gumtree), another googled pilot, and another hi swillnut wrote another brilliant, supremely groovy and brilliant, swillnut article about it.
A regurgitated swillnut dream team, created a super groovy banner promoting the new swillnut club, gentlemens men shed headquarters at Dandenong. A swillnut dream team, part time electrician, with absolutely no qualifications or experience as a pilot whatsoever, was championed and chosen by non other… than… stupe’ nuttle’ the great… to fly it, and it took off from real basic swillnut country, Nene Valley.
The swillnut forecast was perfect… dreamy even… except for a 138kph howling cross/onshore and the swillnut plane was meant to fly around Tweed Heads, as swillnut thermsy ripped out another brilliant, world’s greatest guitar solo… on the beach below, and the rest of the swillnuts applauded and blathered useless shit, about cooking spuds, and chookhouses… again…
… but…
As the dreamy, swillnutty pilot looked down, also trying to post another, brilliant by the way, imho comment, he was blinded by the outlandish, greatest ever glare, rebounding from thermsy’s highly polished, totally nude, sundial. Simultaneously, the seemingly sweet as dreamteam swillnut spotted one of… ‘them’… one of… ‘that lot… them… possibly fake… coloured’, voiceless lot, out of the corner of his eye, and as he shook his head in horror, his magnificently groomed and pampered, rehabbed ponytail, slapped and blinded him… even more!!!
The rest is history. Surely deserving of a wsl sales event extravaganza, complete with a secret agent free/longy/tom tom, swillnutty thingy!!!
I have indeed visited the bottoms up club. We had to pay to leave. The in-between was quite the story! If you’ve seen the lord of the rings, you’d be familiar with Smeagle. The perverted little hobit whom had been consumed by the ring, right. They had a dancer whom looked just like smeagle. Hair falling out, pasty white, a serious affinity for crank. She emerges from a 2nd story room down a spiral staircase. A cold shiver ran down my spine. The kind you can’t shake. My compass was spinning circles, and my crew were obviously shaken. We reefed before sunset, but should’ve taken in full. Run like smoke and oakem! I made for the door but a large black fella stopped me in my tracks cold. I told him I had forgotten my wallet and escaped the 20$ to leave. My crew, not so lucky! Bottoms up boys!! Avoid at all costs!
Fiji on. will the great watch winner mystery be solved?