California surfers bummed at Mother Nature after learning Kelvin Wave is un-shreddable

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

But what surfer, when young, didn’t dream of growing up and one day shredding a tsunami? I remember learning about tidal waves, as a boy, and think confused “tidal” with “titanic,” or some such derivation, and assumed they were massive breakers just waiting to be tamed. A 250 left and a 250 right racing off in opposite directions, a brave ripper on each wall, etching names into the annals.

That’s how I drew it in my school notebooks, anyhow, and imagined the day that I, too, would ride a tsunami.

You can imagine how bummed I felt, then, when learning that a tidal wave is merely a giant surge that destroys everything in its path. There’s no lip, no wall, no racetrack section nor barrel. In a word, un-surfable.

Well, fool me once, shame on Mother Nature, fool me twice, shame on me.

And shame is what I am feeling, this morning, after learning that the Kelvin Wave is un-surfable too.

Though you have certainly read of the Mega El Niño phenomenon currently broiling the Pacific. The aforementioned Kelvin Wave part of that whole business.

According to The Guardian:

Concerns are mounting about an ocean phenomenon known as a Kelvin wave that could raise sea levels along the California coastline by up to a foot, as scientists say El Niño is supercharging the threat of storm surges and flooding in the coming months.

As an incredibly strong El Niño continues to develop in the Pacific, the phenomenon brings with it a strange shift in the ocean. The Kelvin wave phenomenon is created when trade winds that usually blow from South America towards Asia die down or reverse in El Niño years, setting off a massive, slow-moving slosh of water.

Kelvin waves are not like crashing waves at the beach. They are planetary in scale, spanning thousands of miles. And when a Kelvin wave kicks off, it brings with it an untold amount of warm water that slowly moves from the western Pacific, along the equator, towards South, Central and North America.

“Massive, slow-moving slosh of water.”

“Not like crashing waves at the beach.”

Yes, fool me twice…

Damn it.