Not for the faint of stomach.
The World Surf League Championship Tour will ring the opening bell in Southern California, tomorrow, coming a week too late, per the institutional karma left behind by former CEO Erik Logan. The Golden State has, as you know, been bathed in a wild swell from Hurricane Marie though she has now moved on and the surf is receding to Filipe Toledo size.
The Lexus Trestles Pro should still be a good time, though, with many important storylines including, but not limited to, if having boot-on-the-ground will enhance New Zealand’s Luke Cederman’s Fantasy Surfer standing.
The funnyman flew from his Raglan, overnight, and is now in San Clemente trying to get insider information from the pros on who will do well, over those cobbled stones, and who will do poorly.
Eight-time World Champion, and current number seventeen, Stephanie Gilmore, there hoping to leap over the dreaded cut line, delivered, what I found to be a particularly gross tip. Namely, that the ocean water there is “slimy.”
“This might be insider trading, but Lowers is renowned for being a bit… slippery. The water is a bit… slimy.”
I have surfed Lowers a handful of times and have not noticed the slime factor but that is super yucky, no? Whence do you think it hails? The nearby nuclear power plant? The surfboard shaping ghetto?
Elsewhere?
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So the specials standby pro is on?
Chas if you actually watched the warm-up heats you’d have heard them say it’s clay that washed off the berm (or something incomprehensible). And something to do with Andy Irons waxing the top of his feet to de-slime his board mid heat?
Ha mate just eat the pussy then.
Xox
Haha well the French are okay at food too I must say.
Xox
Fer sure!!
Is that from Slowers this week?
mental
Is little Pip practising his chest thumping and flexing in front of the mirror tonight now the real events have finished and he’s back in his spiritual home of two foot burgers? One of the best power surfers of all time some cunts have called him on here bahahahahahahahaha
Theres a huge difference between speed and torque and being powerful. As much as I hate the cunt Cole’s size makes him a proper power surfer, same goes for Conner O’leary. Pip is tiny, incredibly quick and almost skates over the water due to his size but thats not powerful. Ethan is the perfect mix of both and has perfect style and technique on top of that.
Well thats when he’s actually surfing and not spending his heats sitting there looking handsome gazing out to the horizon for thirty minutes. I already know the levels of anger and frustration this comp is gunna bring me yet again hahaha
Only a seppo would be okay with calling themselves a seppo.
Fuck that, don’t give in to Stockholm Syndrome.
what is that sepposed to mean?
I came up with a GREAT IDEA!
Whoever wins Trestles should automatically become the WORLD CHAMPION!
Who gives a fuck about the other lame events?
Whadda ya reckon?
That sounds like an idea a sleazy, wandering hands seppo cunt like ELO would come up with
ELO is the ultimate NOSE RUBBER with great ideas
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Is that DNuts squeezing one out or sucking one in?
clay marzo is the real goat
Best name ever.
There was an aussie woman on the
” plane” that hit the pentagon, her son recieved her wallet ,credit cards and cash that they found at the site, but they couldnt find the planes engines, amazing!!
I was promised “Moon Vacations”
Not a Trillionaire
Theres still time!!
I remember the whole great “PentaLawn” conspiracy ahaha
no traces of that now on the crazy internet
The one where a 757 flew at ground level into one of the most secure buildings in the US, in front of a hundreds cameras and we only got to see one leaked footage from a servo..
RIP all those who suffered, and those who stilll do.
Release some footage, Maybe even release some files like you promised HAHAHAH
I didn’t believe it was a missile but I also didn’t get how one of the most secure places ever only got a couple blurry frames on video.
Also I don’t think they ever released the footage they confiscated from nearby businesses.
Trust…Means nothing
Yeah
I really hope the seppo interviewers come up with some more insightful questions for the athletes tomorrow. Here are two I came up with driving 10 minutes from work to pick up mini from school
So Griff pretty good heat mate now could ya please recite your 12 times table for all of us?
So Cole the question every cunt is wondering is why do you have leopard print hair ya fucking idiot?
Simple but a fucking massive improvement ay gang?
Thank Fuck Mini is not Home schooled
And this is American Football (Handball with many ad breaks, fat cunts, group hugs between ads. More ads. After that… More ads…
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This is how they play sports
After this ad break,there will be 6 seconds of play, followed by Carl’s JR and Subway.. who both are struggling with the new prices too, so they decided to share their advertising costs just like you…
Nah mate, might this time though now my mate isn’t working. Usually just sneak down for a feed and fuck off!
Xox
I will promote this cunt, cause he is ripping and loves Cali and is a product of Bryon Bay?
Where we keep all the best people…
ttps://www.reddit.com/r/OpenAussie/comments/1w6sgsm/australias_answer_to_tony_hawk_is_12yo_hudson/
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Luke ” so Stephanie what is your purpose ?”
Stephanie _ ” I just wanna go left some day..”
Luke – you mean somewhere like cloudbreak?
Stephanie – ” oh no no no. I mean politically
Luke “I fell asleep listening to myself talk”
Stephanie “Sorry, I don’t remember, I fell asleep”
Luke “You too?”
Yes. He’s been working out.
Oooft, I’d let him leave his shoes under my bed…and finger my bumhole!
Xox
Nothing on my old six pack!!!
American FootBall in Australia!
Played with hands, mostly
So much Advertising TOO
There is a little kicking…
The “foot” part of football is because you’re on foot carrying the ball. Kicking the ball is off foot… but that would be kickball.
What if you play the same thing but with “Roller skates”?
Or even worse yet, RollerBlades and you haven’t told you Parents yet..
Joking
An NFL Ball is made to throw like a rifled bullet, to hit its target.
Not to kick
AFL can be called”Aerial Ping Pong”
I don’t get it, because everyone else is fat as fuck or an absolute massive lean unit, and the kicker who has one job, still fucks it up…
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It’s such a boring, slow-moving game. I don’t get it either, and I even dated an NFL player many moons ago…
I betcha he didn’t get it either
Hahahahaha. I could take that two ways…
I bet he wished he could’ve said that mate
I should have expected that response and avoided it!
That”s a plus! ; )
Hahahahaha
So these are both Cali teams.
So is this like a Western Derby we have here when the West Coast Eagles vs Fremantle from the same state?
And there is a 3rd team?
Chargers yes.
Why is it like this?
“PLAY ON” then every 5 seconds this then a reset, during an ad break
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Nobody can explain the pile ups?
WHY?
The ball is already “dead”
Are you making sure it is fully humped, during the Ad Break?