Wacky Australian slang trips up NFL superstar Christian McCaffrey

Less than 6 degrees of separation, one or two of yous wankers must know Occy. Favor him to sign this for me. One big Wayne Lynch fan too!

Sincerely, Sydney Sweeney
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As the lone native american in this thread, let’s get reaquanted with Norte and Sur Baja and san blas where a gringo qas an American speaking loud to MEx and he ‘you’re a cracker’ and (9KsM:xYRAP~5_d&d) the Mex yells HWERO WHITE BOY.

THIS MEETING was digitize and deliver custom to you Aussie cunts. Appreciate the blogs commenters put up. Let me paint the scene:

Memoirs: ‘Whatever Happens’ (Initiated Feb. 6, 2012. Ventura)

1974. Here I sit at 4th street, MB, listening to BS from Mike McCarter, Kim Butler, Tom Marx, and Rick Marina. Can’t wait for Mexico; leaving on the 5th. (7/2)

Gotten just about everything ready to go; I just have to pack it! Steely Dan tonight at Santa Monica Civic Auditorium. Burn (Brinny Stits) and I are gonna be stoked. Hope they are as good as I’ve heard (on FM radio). I just want to kick back and really get into their music…(Later, Steely Dan was outrageous.) They played nicely…started with Bodisadtva, then Boston Rag, Reelin’ in the Years, Ricki Don’t Lose That Number, Do It Again, etc. Every song was great. Sat next to Ken Krizman and Ed? And two sweaty gals. It was nice place to start off the summer vacation. (7/3)

A joke! Too many people, that were too high, shooting too many fireworks. Spent the day watching Steve Burgess’ band. (7/4)

Here we are, spending the first night at the Baker’s, a few kilometers from Ensenada. Went to town and looked for a nice hat. Dano Benoit bought some sandals for $7.00, then we took a pee at some bar. Now back at Baker’s Loaf (Baker’s Acres) watching the sunset having a beer (Superior in a bottle) and eating pretzels. (7/5)

Stopped in Ensenada to ‘cambia’ our money. Then spent the whole day driving, trying to get to Guerrero Negro for no reasonable reason? Balbini’s a little woozy at the wheel. I wanted to stop two hours ago. (7/6)

We’re getting ready to eat bacon and eggs. Camped next to an agricultural teacher from Modesto, and he said the waves further south were head high and it’s hot and muggy. We’re now headed for Mulege and Santa Rosalia. On the way down everywhere was completely flat. But it’s nice to be away from the South Bay. And there hasn’t been any trouble, yet! Well, I’m getting hungry, since we didn’t eat last night. Later…after more driving…through a semi-tropical oasis, San Ignacio, we make it to Santa Rosalia where it’s really hot: 95-100 degrees. I had to do a number two and was really sweating after finishing. Can’t wait to surf. It’ll be heaven!!! Now onward to Mulege, wearing just surf trunks…night…south of Mulege we camped at an unreal place; nice sunset, and started taking super 8 millimeter movies with the sunrise! (7/7)

We’re headed for La Paz (275 miles) and going to onward to Cabo San Lucas. Later…well, we made it to La Paz and it’s rainin’ cats and dogs. I’m sitting in a grass hut while Jeff Eckert fixes the cassette and I’ve spotted my shirt in the next hut. Everybody else went to town. Mr. Burdick and family are here and he says getting onto the ferry to Topolabampa is going to be a pain. He also said that Cabo San Lucas is having a bad storm and the surf is at least 6 feet plus. Getting hard to write. (7/8)

We’re camped at a pretty neat spot in Cabo and surfed at a place called ‘The Shits’, an unreal pebble beach that looks like, or should I say reminds me of, Hawaii. Listening right now to Elton John ‘Madmen Across the Water.’ It’s sounding good.

Last night had my first taste of mescal, wow! Spirits are good between us and hope it keeps up. Art’s fixing pancakes and its about time to shave. Today we are going to town to get tortillas, then check out the other surf spots north of The Shits. I’ve just finished eating, or tried to, and have come to the conclusion that my stomach is shrinking because it takes very little to fill me up. Dano is finally getting some wax on his board; Bill Stewart is sitting next to me eating ‘cakes after he got up. He and Brian had a bottle between them with Brian drinking most of it. He’s still in bed after a rough night. Oh yeah, had my first shave with a blade and cream; it was a little sticky, but I pulled through with no nicks. I guess I’m writing a lot more now that we’ve settled down. Tomorrow we leave for the mainland on the ferry at a cost of $5.00 per person and $50.00 for the truck. While we were in La Paz, Dano and I got two nice hats, after endless searching. (7/9-10)

We’ve found a perfect wave. A Trestles-like 3-5 foot wave that’s perfect. We surfed 4-hours each day and surfed out both days. Right now we’re headed back to La Paz for the ferry to Todolo bampa. We passed through the most insane rainstorm of all time, but it only last for a few minutes at a time. Then out comes the sun. But at last we’re finally headed for the mainland and away from the Burdick’s and Bud Fitch and other assorted goobers. I’m looking forward to some real tropical weather. On the Baja, it’s just been hot, 85-90 degrees, although the last two nights have been a little cool, 70 degrees. After we packed and were leaving El Arco Campgrounds we got good-byes from everyone there. I guess we had made a lot of friends and no enemies; even the Mexicans were friendly.

Baja, in being all over it, seems mostly cactus and dried-up trees, with a few semi-tropical oasises. But I enjoyed it, although more than half the time here was spent inside the truck heading/racing from town to town. Getting used to the heat, except that all the time I spent in the water gave me a pretty nice sunburn, which better not peel or I’ll be in trouble on the mainland. I think it’s about time to write home to let the folks know that I’m still alive. But we’ve always been in a rush and haven’t had time to get stamps and an envelope. That’s it for now, time to get some sleep because this ferry ride is going to be hectic. I think its time to take the plastic sides off the truck; (an humungous International Scout with two humungous great danes.) (7/11-12)

After a rough ferry ride, getting almost no sleep, I’m pretty tired. We drove from Topolobompa to Mazatlan in about 6 hours, a dreadfully long ride through more desert and at the end, a little tropical jungle. I’m sitting back now at the Ole’ Trailer Park on the beach having a beer. The temperature is about 80 degrees, water about the same. Today, the six of us and Tiny (great dane) drove into town to get acclimated. From now on, I’m pretty much on my own. To get to town and the surf, Canons and Lupes, I’m gonna have to ride the bus, which I guess is nice, but I still have to get that wired and learn my way around town. There’s an endless number of things to do: check out the main market, get needed things, and hopefully surf my brains out. The only thing is this place is a tourist trap and everywhere we go in the truck, people, the locals, stare us out. Not sure whether it’s the truck and/or Tiny or just us. It’s kinda starting to bother me. I think the surf is picking up a little and in the morning I’d like to surf Canons, because as we drove past coming in, it definitely showed some potential as a hot left. Time to kick back. Later. (7/13)

Having a rough night last night, meaning kicking everyone’s butts in ping pong, I promptly ran right through a window at a cost of 125 pesos. Received a minor, minor scratch. Anyway, we had another lay day of flat surf; two in a row now. Got somewhat burned, not my face, but my back. Through writing Mom and Dad and told them just where I stand down here. The Mexican beach vendors, with their hammocks, hats. Turtle oil, other assorted BS, are driving me up the wall. I went into town today, Mazatlan, and shopped around with Dano. We bought bananas, pineapples, mango and a banana drink. Nice! Another hot day!! Saw a pretty nice looking gal today; I think I’d like to meet her. Tried to speak to some local rogues after beating them nicely (ping pong), then drove away to a party in town. There are quite a few Californians here, from Newport, MB, LA, etc. What a coincidence. Very few gals, mostly dog meat. Goodbye. Going to go surf Canons-not. Lupes (sloppy 2-3 foot surf.) Night…hit a bar, found no gals, went to bed. (7-14)

Surfed Lupes in the morning. Went down early to take movies (super 8) because I figured it would be small. But it was 3-4 feet so I used everyone else’s board til at the end I break the tail off of Brian’s board. He’s now turning it into a swallow-tail. The rest of the day was spent in front, at the beach. While Jeff and Dan went out with two gals from Santa Barbara, we kicked back at the beach and had a couple of beers; watched an unreal sunset. (7-15)

Thought I would get up early and beat the crowd to Lupes. I walked all the way down there, only to look at the Ford tower clock which read 2:00AM. So I turned around and walked back. Definitely a piss off. After having pancakes for breakfast and buying 70 pesos worth of food in town with Art Balbini, I’m ready to surf either Lupes or Canons. Last night we discussed our game plan for the rest of the trip. Art’s going to take $20.00 from each of us, then pool the rest of our money and when that runs out, we make a dash for the border. Right now, Jeff and Dan were going to try to get on the island (Isla de Piedras) across from the harbor with their chickies. And Dan lost the listerine, so maybe we’ll find it and the three of us could go for it.

Straight in front of us on the island, there looks like a gnarly right breaking off the rocks; might have to go for it. Hope we go further south, maybe to San Blas and Matanchan Bay. The word is its bigger down south. Later…

Just got out from Lupes at about 4-feet and maybe 6-foot faces. It wasn’t very good and was really mushy, but did appreciate the size. I pulled off a couple of nice cut backs and an outrageous roller coaster. Well, I was stoked. And finally mailed the letter to home in MB. Knew I had to do it sooner or later, or los padres would be worried. Now have about $150.00 left and from now on, must spend it wisely. Tomorrow morning, Lupe’s is going to be hot, but I can’t get up as early as yesterday. Bud Fitch pulled in today from La Paz and we met another guy, some ex-student of Art’s. I’ve now walked back and forth from Lupe’s three times. Wow, is that a joke. Those hotels and other assorted BS remind me of Waikiki, except there aren’t as many people. Things are starting to slow down now and I’m reading more. There’s nothing else to do except surf, eat, and sit. Although it’s not really bad. Bryan got resin and cloth to fix his board. Hope it rides half-way descent. (7-16)

An outrageous (BOEL-induced) day!!! Got up at 5:30AM. Bud, Jeff, Dan, and I drove to the harbor, then took a little panga skiff to Isla de Piedras, a jungle-like small town, and reached the six mile beach. We surfed 3-5′ waves that bowled with left and right peaks. It reminded me of an article in an old Surfer mag about South Africa. They were short but hollow with steep take-offs. Was really fun; we were really high on the surf for about 4 hours. And because we didn’t eat breakie, we stopped for tacos (beans & tortillas) and coconuts at a little stand on the beach. After a nice munch we headed up north,(waiting for the Hermosa Beach/Torrance goobers to get out of the water) to surf perfect, inconsistent, 5-6 foot right handers peeling off the jetty (documented in the Nelsen family movie). Surfed there for another 2 hours; I was surfing good with backside roller coasters and just all out speed. Dano was surfing his best also, and Ekhert and Fitch both had their share of peelers. We had a long walk back and on the way I found a single zig-zagged, hand-rolled reefer on the breakwall.

We smoked it… paddled back across the marina channel, walked into town and had papaya liquidas, tortillas con peppers, cheese and maybe tuna? Arrived at the trailer park campsite and Art was somewhat bummed we didn’t take Bill and Bryan. I wish we did take Bryan because he wood have dug it. Scarfed out again with a peanut butter and pineapple-apricot jelly sandwich (which we’ve been eating the whole trip); but it tasted fine. Also had a banana and a pineapple; and a cold shower…

Now I’m sitting here, surfed and weirded- (strung-) out, knowing I will sleep well. I don’t think I’ll surf tomorrow ’cause a lot of money has to be divided, etc., and I must cash Traveler’s Cheques. So until later. (7-18)

ED note: that spleef was accidentally dropped by Brian Barnes (from Hermosa) whom I later roomed with in a house on Cliff Drive, Santa Barbara. One night the story of that trip came up and we laughed hard at the notion that he and I had crossed paths during that outrageous adventure. (1980)

The absolutely worst day of the trip (and then some). It rained all day and night and we got flooded because of big surf; sweeping the camp and coastline. Only because Art was too stubborn to move earlier in the afternoon. I also got really sick from something eaten the day before (the tuna?) and threw up quite a few times (montezuma’s revenge). I was ready to be beamed back to the comforts of home! (7-19)

can you explain this skimboard thing for me?

low intermediate- can you explain Laguna beach for me please?