Are you excited about Wavegarden's new Austin, Texas operation? What do think Kelly Slater feels?
If you really want your day wrecked, you can smash your hand with a hammer, drink a piña colada then lose your arm or have Kelly Slater give you a compliment.
Our 11 x world champion is an absolute master of the backhanded tribute. Commendations delivered in such a way that they sting worse than straight up curses. Just listen to him praise his competition after defeating them or losing. Ouch! He is an ace, an artist. Who could forget the way he congratulated freshly minted champ the day after he won his title?
Let’s look back at another classic. The company behind Wavegarden is set to launch a location in Austin, Texas any day now. The local surf community is thrilled, the neighborhood very excited. The eyes of the world will be upon their small hamlet. For the first time ever they get to shine!
But recall when the one in Wales opened? Very similar scenario and at that time Kelly tweeted: “Lots of talk/questions on wavegarden. Cool they made a wave but I think you’ll all be very happy when you see what we have in store. :)”
Does the knife go any deeper? Let’s examine!
First, there is the implied business of the lots of talk/questions. Of course talk/questions are bad in a business context and, of course, Kelly’s subtle prediction of failure came true! Surf Snowdonia’s Wavegarden was shuttered soon after The Kelly Slater Wavepool Company released their sexy li’l vid. Tears and unemployment gutted an already depressed Welsh landscape.
Second, there is the lack of capitalization on “wavegarden.” A classic move quietly stripping legitimacy.
Third, is the big slap. “Cool they made a wave…” Such a cold hearted slight! “Cool they made a wave…” “Cool you have a job…” “Cool he drives a car…” “Cool she got married…” “Cool they bought a house…” Can any statement that begins with “Cool they….” end in anything other than shame?
Fourth, to answer the question posed at the end of third, No! In case you were unsure though, throw a “but” into the mix! “Cool they made a wave but…”
Fifth, end the whole thing with an emoji. 🙂 Do you know what 🙂 equals? 🙁
And did you take notes? Employ what you learned right now! Text someone you hate a congratulations!