The Brazil leg of the tour ain't looking so good right now…
And another one bites the dust.
Rio ain’t doing so good. The original contest site is fucked, Conner Coffin and Carissa Moore saw some dude get murdered. Parko’s nursing a knee injury by competing in Bali. Kai Otton has “personal matters” keeping him out of the feces infested nightmare they call an ocean. Taj is over it.
And now Slater is out too!
First reports of his opt-out came yesterday, reported by Surfheater.
Great scoop! Hit him up to find out the details. Looks legit.
“Friends in Rio. They don’t want to be named. News of Slater pulling out will be made official shortly.”
Accompanying that brief message was this story.
Now, I don’t speak Portuguese, but I’ve got good enough Spanish to puzzle it out. Because Portuguese, as well as Italian and French, are all pretty much the same language. Just spoken with varying amounts of marbles in your mouth.
He’ll be replaced by Lucas Silveira, 2016 World Junior Champion.
Silveira’s instagram comfirms he will be competing in the event.
While the WSL hasn’t provided official confirmation that Mr Slater is out I think it’s safe to say you should go adjust your fantasy surfer teams accordingly. If you’ve still got Slater on your team. Which I do not.
he’s gotta have more than that… he had a huge deal with quik and probably made big bonuses for every WT. He should be closer to 50 mil, unless of course he pulled an MJ and gambled it all away in golf
Taxes, agents etc. $50M gross may let you keep $20M.
I’m predicting it as the QS event of the year!!
Absolutely pumping in Fiji next week. What’s the bet Kelly heads straight to Tavi?
Good riddance. Now we won’t have to hear rationalizations for why he bogged rail to another 25th and about how people are puzzled because “he looked so good in freesurfs.” Whatever. Now he gets to spend more time getting “barreled” on his munchkin wave pool (board nose and head poking out and everything!). Thanks, Rio poop.
Kelly knows he can’t compete here. A few more last place finishes and he won’t have to worry about announcing his retirement – he’ll be kicked off the tour.
If only. It’s probably better that way, closes the door on b.s. “what ifs.”
u tink he stil in?
Looks like the reality that Kelly is no longer competitive- let alone in the running for a Title- is starting to sink in. Why would he paddle around in shit water to get another last place?
Expect more “pull-outs” from the King as he looks at the forecast before an event.
I’m going to go with he just doesnt want E-Coli poisoning through his nostrils.
And that seems fair enough.
don’t they cop a fine if they no show an event?
Forecast there will be zero fucks given by Kelly or WSL. Too busy planning 2017 pool party tour events.
So Dirk Ziff owns WSL, who owns kswaveco, right?
Mick, Taj, Kai, Parko and Slater are all too nervous they’re going to run into the transvestites they banged last year and do it again. We all hate Rio and I realise this won’t be a popular opinion but I reckon dropping out of Rio is unsportsmanlike. If you were really frothing to be World Champion you would gladly huff poo water and slay poo-stance scum to be the greatest. These guys can all leave the tour next year. They’re taking up spots with a shit attitude and embarrassing our great sporting nations by being beaten by Brazzo kooks (with the exception of Mick who is still competitive).
4 upvotes, one for each sentence… one down for the parenthesis…
damn I was having ol Baldy withdrawals , nothing for 48hrs , ah surfing is still alive and well. Yeah bloody dangerous that Brazil , any of the guys going there could get the Zika virus , and imagine if they were pregnant??
How do you make comments in such a way that so artfully sits on the fence? I never know which way you’re leaning. Teach me, young wizard.
add a touch of irony , with a spoonful of sarcasm , then sprinkle a little truth , and wrap it up by grilling the subject matter!!
subtle shreds…everywhere
Even the Great Carnac could have predicted this…
Funny thing with Rio… Having Taj, Kai, Parko, Mick and Slater on your fantasy team has a near equal chance of being just as successful as any other team. This shit toilet bowl of a contest has the hardest picks of the season. My picks are done randomly with my eyes closed and my dick slapping against the keyboard.
fair to say people starting with letters qwertyuiop didn’t made the cut then
Hahaha space bar wore the brunt of it I reckon.
Turns out I picked 8 empty slots
I see what you did there!
I see that joke right there at stab…
Pardon?
the ‘see what you did’ cool joke…
Stephen Hawking be damned.
just go full brazzo, fantasy kid…
Kelly has come down with an acute acai induced form of “I’m not dealing with the Brazilian-itis”.