I haven't heard if WSL CEO Paul Speaker has accepted my resume. Can you give me some encouragement?
Soooooooo I sent my resume to Paul Speaker…
PAUL MOTHERFUCKING SPEAKER!
To be his executive assistant and I still haven’t heard back.
I told him my jobs (BeachGrit, travel, Disneyland submarine driver).
I told him my skillz but also my weaknesses (I love too much).
I told him that I would gently massage his neck.
And nothing. Or at least not yet.
Why do you think?
Do you think I haven’t heard back because he is busy watching Kelly Slater’s Portuguese 9?
Or……..
Maybe………
Busy with………..
I DON’T KNOW and am feeling SO MUCH STRESS!
There’s no way I’m not getting this job right?
RIGHT?
Sorry to put this on you. I just need a little encouragement. Tell me that WSL CEO Paul Speaker is going to choose me. Tell me that I’ll be his number one forever.
#executiveassistantlyphe
Please?
Head to the north shore crash a few more parties and write a follow up to the book.This is the season with the Braz storm troopers looking to take over.
DUDE, IS SO CLEAR: You are too good for this job….do you really want to surf on a samsung surfboard with a screen where in blue numbers say 5, 4 , 3 , 2 , 1 RUN!!!! I would recommend you to go back to your disneyland job.
You could be Paul’s BITCH – few could argue you’re impeccably qualified for that role.
Is this your work email on your Disqus account?
Looks like Speaker rides side saddle.
By the way can some of you Americans tell me why all the Trumpers like that absolute cunt Vladimir Putin.
Because trump and him bang eachother
Because they are absolute fucking terrible morons.
never forget, most americans are ignorant and desperate,,,, literally clueless that there is a world outside their borders. the biggest ordeal they have to overcome is returning their skinny vanilla late because it has too much whip cream… Trump preys on an unenlightened middle america desperate to blame something for their miserable lives and the fact that they spent all their money on a Ford F-150 and a John Deer sit down lawn mower,,,,,
you know I love you Chas. But you’re not pretty enough.
#ellen
#passionforprofessionalsurfingaplus
#roryparkerwantsthejobtoo
Chas, seriously your horticulture skills – especially in rose placement could be that edge that gets you across the line.
If you can place that rose “just so” across the back seat of the limo, or fluff the pillow in such a way to delicately offset the petals then it could be the difference.
See if you can amend the resume to add that in.
I heard from this chick who knows this guy that delivers rave flyers to the kiosk in front of a starbucks where some friend of the chick works who overheard the new hire at starbucks saying that while he was cleaning the men’s restroom, he walked in on Paul Speaker talking to his Johnson and that new hire was pretty sure he heard something good about Chas’ chances.