The World Surf League finds their scapegoat for an embarrassing day!
Have you had enough of the Humbling at Hossegor yet? Yesterday’s two heat, and two heat only, beginning to the Quiksilver France Pro? That forced two world champions into the losers ledger?
Much of the commentary class was under the general impression that commissioner Kieren Perrow should not have called the contest on but also extended him a fair amount of grace. Still, people wondered why?
Why call it on only to call it off two measly heats later even if things were weird?
This morning the World Surf League found their scapegoat, throwing all blame at the just turned 23 year-old from Santa Barbara, California.
In a hastily penned press release the office of WSL CEO Paul Speaker declared:
When WSL officials were debating whether to run the Quiksilver Pro Tuesday morning at Hossegor, Conner Coffin stroked into this wave at Culs Nus. Coincidence or not, the event was called on a few minutes later. Unfortunately the conditions didn’t hold. Less than 30 minutes later the lineup was out of control, with a rising swell and dropping tide tearing things apart.
Do you think they will slap the young regular foot with a fine? Will he be suspended for baiting his superiors into a regrettable decision? Will he be kicked off tour entirely?
Is VP of WSL communications Dave Prodan in a French cowboy bar right now singing the song In My Country There is a Problem except exchanging Conner’s name?
In my country there is problem and that problem is the Conner. He take everybody heat and he never give it back
[Chorus 2:] Throw the Conner down the well (repeat line) So my WSL can be free (repeat line) You must grab him by his horns (repeat line) Then we have a big party (repeat line)
[Verse 3:] If you see the Conner coming You must be careful of his teeth. You must grab him by his money And I tell you what to do