No one's gonna say, "That Kieren Perrow's a real
fucking kook."
Poor Kieren Perrow.
I often wonder how much control he has over the call to run.
Is he really the boss? Pouring over charts and
agonizing. Or is he just the face of a decision someone else
made?
Kieren’s an excellent choice for the latter. He’s a world class
surfer, everyone likes him. Respects him. No one’s gonna say, “That
Kieren Perrow’s a real fucking kook.”
But, man… did you see the pair of waves Double J-Eff and Conner
Coffin snagged during the Dawn Patrol show? Whoooooo- ee! Pair of
gems. Conner’s especially. No doubt ten during a heat. I
immediately clicked over to fantasy surfer and popped him on my
team. Sorry, Julian, you’ve gotta go. I know I’ve said I’ll suck
your dick for magical powers, but that’s business. Fantasy Surfer
is personal.
We saw the aforementioned two on back-to-back smokers, then the
Commish came on and said he was waiting for later.
Only two heats ran yesterday, and they weren’t exactly
great.
I hear it frequently, “(X-spot) is just like Hawaii.”
French beach break is like Backdoor? I find that hard to believe.
Backdoor is outright fucking terrifying. I can’t wrap my head
around the notion that sand bottom can come anywhere close.
But I could be wrong. Never been to France. Too expensive. I
don’t speak French beyond, “Je suis Rory!”
Heat one was large and lumpy and whomping, for sure. Banting,
Young and Parko had their work cut out for them. Shifting peaks,
soupy faces, none of the offshore groomed throaters we’re all
hoping for.
John John would’ve definitely got pitted though.
Nat Young first wave was the best of the heat. Fairly deep
backside pit to backhand whack off the top, to nothing cutty on the
end. 7.17, fairly certain that’d be enough to hand him the heat in
difficult conditions. I mean, you never really know, Parko could’ve
snagged a gem for a tenner. Unlikely though.
And, in fact, the aged Aussie stroked into a likely looking
beaut that shifted into a hideous closeout brute. If it’d hit a
deep spot and backed off a tad he’d’ve taken the heat. Instead he
entertained with a heroic closeout pull-in.
On days like this I’m in awe of the ski guys. Paddling out looks
like a lot of work. The thought of threading a thousand pound hunk
of machinery through big heaving closeouts puckers my asshole.
Terrifying.
Parko and Banting were at a loss. Struggling to find waves.
Failing to put together scores. Young’s quick in and out on a left
was enough to hammer nails in their coffins, send ’em both to the
loser round. But he’d have won without it. His first wave score
eclipsed each of the other pair’s combined total.
The second, and last, heat of the day was Igarashi, Asing, and
the world’s favorite ducky eyed Syrian legend. On a day like this
you’d expect Mr Slater to easily hand the skinny grom and tiny
Hawaiian their asses.
But ’twas not to be.
Igarashi had nothing to offer. The boy picked poorly. Worthless
closeouts, no points for him. Final heat total of 1.5. Pretty much
the lowest you can get while still catching two waves. Which means
Igarashi is on his way to another early round loss.
But Slater didn’t do much better. 7.0 heat total. Came kinda
close on a left barrel, but close don’t count. Earned a 5.27 for a
tippy-toe late drop to scary section backside bash. Fell on the
follow up floater. Score seemed kind of high for a single turn. But
I’m fairly certain it was one of those things where the camera
didn’t do justice to the gnar factor.
Asing came out on top! Not by killing it, but by being smart.
Playing for points. Couple of ‘meh’ turns for a 3.17 for his first
scoring wave. A slightly mellower version of Slater’s backside bash
for a 4.83. Combined total of 8.0 put him through to round
three.
And that’s all she wrote for Day One. Hopefully it’ll drop a
tad, clean up a bit, and tomorrow will be magic.
