Now is the time to remake the WSL in our image!
I am midway through book right now and my brain is absolutely tapped, especially when I’m sober. It is slow like thick molasses. Like summertime traffic. (is that a rap lyric?) Dead. Sore. Tired. Uninspired (is that one too?) But guess who just had one large sake and two large Sapporo?
Me!
And when I am slightly boozed my brain is very similar to Albert Einstein’s. A firing ball of genius wires. Nuclear shit n shit! And I just had the best idea ever.
So you’ve obviously read by now how Samsung jumped from the World Surf League’s ship and good riddance you Korean bastards! Go and make some more shitty phones and horrible washing machines. My Samsung washing machine just got recalled because, apparently, when washing heavy items the lid can fly off and cause mass bodily harm.
Suck it you Korean bastards!
Our WSL is better off without you. And wouldn’t it be beautiful to really make it ours? To make it so Pottz and Ron-Dawg and Joe and Raspberry wouldn’t have to pretend like they were talking to a non-existent audience anymore? Some giant NFL sized crowd of ex-CEO Paul Speaker’s dreams?
Speaking of that Korean bastard (was Paul Speaker Korean?) good riddance! And we have a full clean slate. The possibility to form professional surfing in our own image!
How much would you pay, per year, to watch surfing that was aimed directly at what you love? Good waves, good competition, good stories? A measly $100? I would probably pay $250.
Let’s crowdfund that shit!
Anyone? Anyone?
$250?
And, waiter, gimme another Sapporo!
Commented on Disqus? Log out, tap the Disqus button, and your old name and comments come back. The box is ours.
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.
Connect Disqus to reveal.
I’m not sure who is more to blame, the WSL for believing they had a product that people would watch. Or Samsung who blindly bought into a shit salad finished with finely plucked pubic hair. Both are seemingly clueless in this instance, much unlike Chas, who’s keen enough to get ahead of the highly anticipated return of knee length boardies. One would think the giant red flag with ‘you’re the only company with a commercial in this mess’ written boldly on the side, waving furiously each broadcast, would have tipped someone off… Oh wait, the WSL is about as high on Samsungs radar as Rogaine on Slater. Shame on the WSL, the product sucks, but they’re too big in their world to see it. Tell some stories about your athletes like every other major sport out there. The formula is there for the taking, you just have to open your eyes and get out of your own way WSL. Oh yeah, and please fire the ‘talent’.
I’m in
if we make every event a stopwatch-timed noseriding contest i’ll give like sixty bucks
I’m sure PwC would be into some corporate sponsorship right now?
the fox watching the hen-house
From God’s mouth to Ziff’s ears
Chas, this literary pittance is worse than your 90’s arm sleeve. It’s easy for me to judge as I am AT LEAST a decade younger and therefore so much more incredibly hip. Regardless, cheers!
I’m thinking the Kickstarter reward tiers is the way to go. $1000 bucks and Joey Turps will repeat any phrase you make up for a minimum of 2 times per heat.
Maybe if they didn’t play the same stupid commercial 10,000 times during each contest? I’m over that method.
So Speaker obviously knew Samsung was going to pull out and jumped ship before this years Tour, giving Ziff the hospital pass.
Wonder if they’d give it over for free like they got it ………
Who is the person next to you in the picture? Nice right sleeve, by the way
Tay Paul. Great writer, better person.
Thanks, he was listed as kelly slater in a previous pic
old photo, check Chas’ knee length boardies, gotta be early 90’s by the looks of slaters hair.
The Beachgrit World Tour has a nice ring to it…..but imagine Chas as the CEO….he’d be gnarlier than Kim Jong-Un.
Still lovin’ the picture of you in LB, Chas.
You should frame it (in a liquid proof frame), adorn it with plastic heart stickers and glitter. That’s what I did.
And put it on every fire hydrant in town? YES!!!
WSL quit because Samsung quit, Samsung quit because Speaker quit, Speaker quit because Beach Grit kept asking for an interview.
Now the idea is to have our glorious surfers share the same status as an unfunded, used condom recycler.
Genius.
Samsung quit once they checked Speaker’s math. he quit before Ziff could find out Samsung was going to check it. can you imagine trying to sell surfing after getting to sell the NFL? it’d be like going back to Girl Scout cookie vending from a card table outside Costco.
When everyone knows the best place to deal Girl Scout’s finest is in front of a medical marijuana dispensary.
Irony! When I opened the WSL home page this morning, the pop up ad said: “Australian Recession 2017: How to survive it”
easy , there won’t be one, ha alternative fake facts?
$250.00 x 57 people = $14,250.00
That’s about $14,248.78 more than what it’s worth…
57 people? Not even.. #fake stats 😂
tremendously fake stats
hahaha good call
I was only going to chip in buck fify!!!