Haste! Prep thine squadron!
Well, this is a surprise! I was just coming back to life from a post-Margies hangover when the WSL handed me a beer bong consisting of three, maybe four Victoria Bitters. That’s right, Bells starts in three hours! Here’s a Fantasy team I just threw together.
1. John Florence: 12.5 mil
John’s another guy who won’t be leaving my my team this year. He’s lethal, literally everywhere. Bells doesn’t suit his surfing as well as Margaret’s but with some chunky swell on tap there’s no one I’d rather have gouging through sections or flying above the lip. If he loses before the quarterers I’ll be baffled.
2. Joel Parkinson: 8 mil
In what will likely be his last year on Tour, Joel is surely hoping for a farewell victory. No place left on the schedule suits him as well as Bells, in my opinion. The whole thing for Parko is wave selection. The man is an artist, seen most clearly through his fussiness of canvas. If he finds himself on big, clean walls, it’s eights and nines all day. If not, expect frustration and defeat.
3. Jordy Smith: 11 mil
I had to choose between Wilko, ADS and Jordy, and I couldn’t get the big man out of my head. All three of these guys will go great in Bells’ lumpy, oversized playing field, but if there’s someone who can make my heart race it’s Michael Jordan Smith. Definitely not the best way to pick a Fantasy team, but I swear logic doesn’t work either. It’s all bloody random!
4. Mick Fanning: 4.5 mil
And who’da guessed Eugene would be holding two turds heading into event number three? Not me, and not most of you considering Mick’s ownership rates at Snapper and Margs. But Mick remains cheap and is coming into one of the most successful venues throughout his entire career. Easy decision.
5. Leonardo Fioravanti: 3 mil
He hasn’t delivered his potential just yet, and what time better than now? Leo is strong enough to handle Bells’ lumps and bumps and smart enough to play the style of cat and mouse that this lineup demands. One strong heat and he’ll be off to the races.
6. Conner Coffin: 6.25 mil
Conner killed it here last year, and judges appear in favor of his half-turn layback thing, so why not? He’s also got a decent seeding, which makes this decision even easier. Conner could flame out early or go all the way to the finals. We’ll just have to wait and see.
7. Nat Young 1.5 mil
The WSL sure is being generous to Santa Cruz’s favorite half-ginger. Bells suits Nat’s surfing to a T, so I could see him taking out some big names without a hitch. Remember when he almost won here in his rookie season? Let’s see what he can do as a wildcard.
8. Jeremy Flores: 3.25 mil
His frontside carve is too strong to keep losing. He’s also got the sorta verve that’s so damn fun to cheer for. This perennial underdog has my heart, and therefore a spot on my team.
Good luck to all!