Haste! Prep thine squadron!
Well, this is a surprise! I was just coming back to life from a post-Margies hangover when the WSL handed me a beer bong consisting of three, maybe four Victoria Bitters. That’s right, Bells starts in three hours! Here’s a Fantasy team I just threw together.
1. John Florence: 12.5 mil
John’s another guy who won’t be leaving my my team this year. He’s lethal, literally everywhere. Bells doesn’t suit his surfing as well as Margaret’s but with some chunky swell on tap there’s no one I’d rather have gouging through sections or flying above the lip. If he loses before the quarterers I’ll be baffled.
2. Joel Parkinson: 8 mil
In what will likely be his last year on Tour, Joel is surely hoping for a farewell victory. No place left on the schedule suits him as well as Bells, in my opinion. The whole thing for Parko is wave selection. The man is an artist, seen most clearly through his fussiness of canvas. If he finds himself on big, clean walls, it’s eights and nines all day. If not, expect frustration and defeat.
3. Jordy Smith: 11 mil
I had to choose between Wilko, ADS and Jordy, and I couldn’t get the big man out of my head. All three of these guys will go great in Bells’ lumpy, oversized playing field, but if there’s someone who can make my heart race it’s Michael Jordan Smith. Definitely not the best way to pick a Fantasy team, but I swear logic doesn’t work either. It’s all bloody random!
4. Mick Fanning: 4.5 mil
And who’da guessed Eugene would be holding two turds heading into event number three? Not me, and not most of you considering Mick’s ownership rates at Snapper and Margs. But Mick remains cheap and is coming into one of the most successful venues throughout his entire career. Easy decision.
5. Leonardo Fioravanti: 3 mil
He hasn’t delivered his potential just yet, and what time better than now? Leo is strong enough to handle Bells’ lumps and bumps and smart enough to play the style of cat and mouse that this lineup demands. One strong heat and he’ll be off to the races.
6. Conner Coffin: 6.25 mil
Conner killed it here last year, and judges appear in favor of his half-turn layback thing, so why not? He’s also got a decent seeding, which makes this decision even easier. Conner could flame out early or go all the way to the finals. We’ll just have to wait and see.
7. Nat Young 1.5 mil
The WSL sure is being generous to Santa Cruz’s favorite half-ginger. Bells suits Nat’s surfing to a T, so I could see him taking out some big names without a hitch. Remember when he almost won here in his rookie season? Let’s see what he can do as a wildcard.
8. Jeremy Flores: 3.25 mil
His frontside carve is too strong to keep losing. He’s also got the sorta verve that’s so damn fun to cheer for. This perennial underdog has my heart, and therefore a spot on my team.
Good luck to all!
Glyndon Ringrose is a good buy at $18.50
WTF WSL. Dont care if he won trials, put someone in that everyone wants to see.
Yago, Dane, Mason, Jack etc etc..or occy or curren before Glyndon Ringrose.
How bout you have 20 of the best/most interesting free surfers on the planet and put just them into their own mini trials at each spot.
Winner gets in.
No offence to Glyndon of course.
you’re overpaying for Connor and you could have Zeke or Ewing for what you’re paying for the baguette.
Conner Coffin is super cheap
Grapevine says secret turn to be unleashed
he’s done a hell of a job keeping it secret. i will say that.
Has anyone else noticed that in some of the “live” WSL events, ut appears that the surfing is sped up, even though the commentators are speaking as if it’s real time? It really seems that way, as if they pre-record, speed it up, and speak over it later. Right now, in the women’s event, the waves appear to be breaking too fast.
Rise of the goofyfoots. Medina, Wilkinson and hopefully O’Leary
Fucking hell, I watched the first heats at the Box when my baby was a newborn. John John won on her 4th birthday! And now Bells? Fucking waiting periods.
Is your baby a mouse? That time frame seems wildly inaccurate.
You doubt my wholly accurate and entirely non-dramatized timeline? C’mon Bleachy, this is the internet- things should always be taken at face value!
Aaah, I understand. Good thing I’ve got the app to tell me when it’s on then! Thought it might be like those spider-babies people have now.
one strong heat for Leo and he’ll be off? this guy has the lowest avg heat score of all rookies. great assumption
…did ya see him last year in his WC appearances?
i did. but it is this year now and hes actually on tour full time
then you also must assume mick’s year is doomed? give him time, Lemmy.
we cannot be comparing mick to leo. mick is a superhero/human. i know leo will light it up sooner or later, most likely when i drop him from my team
I don’t and haven’t had John on my team since the start. I’m an idiot.
I had him. Thought “fuck it, why am I paying top dollar for him the whole season when he’ll probably get a couple of throw aways in Oz and I can pick him up cheaper” and sold him. Cried. Hated myself. Bought him again.
My finely tuned team has no room for the best surfer on tour.
There’s no J in team, right?
Fortune cookie says; Old man maketh blame wave again, young man maketh high scores again