Riches set to pour from Venice-adjacent location II!
Do you ever go to the “about” section of websites. Oh what wonders abound therein! The amount of time and thought put in is absolutely palpable. Grown men sitting around a circular conference table asking, “But does it speak to our core demo?” etc. Truly amazing and Stab’s may be the most amazing of all. I went there for the first time today and read…
Surfing ain’t long-hairs and doobie-suckers no more. Surfing is suited-and-booted stockbrokers. It’s university students who’ve smelt the roses and don’t swallow the evening news. It’s just-18-year-olds whose trunks end above the knee. Surfing is beavertails and logs and empowered women who ain’t adverse to a Brazilian cut, but it’s also 540s and double oops. Right now, surfing is goddamn hot and, most of all, inspired.
Long-hairs and doobie-suckers! Like they channeled a knock-off Derek Rielly circa 2004! And do you think Stab ever gets tired of channeling a knock-off Derek Rielly circa 2004? Do you ever think the grown men sitting around their new Venice adjacent location II circular conference table ask, “Does this faux Derek Rielly voice circa 2004 still fit our global vision?”
Maybe but maybe also they don’t care and you shouldn’t care because SurfStitch bought the site for a cool 10 mil last-ish year and now owner Sam McIntosh wants to pass the earnings on to you! Let us continue in their “about” section…
Stab celebrates the champagne end of the spectrum. Got a 720 in your sights? You’re our man. We’ll even gift you cash to make it happen. Trading up flat-spins for their inverted cousin? Take page one. Whether it’s hiring a chopper and shooting Taj Burrow from the Angle of God (issue one), or throwing a blindfolded Bruce Irons over the ledge at Chopes (issue 56), Stab‘s driven by the search for an answer to the question: How sumptuous can surfing be?
Did you catch that? “Got a 720 in your sights? You’re our man. We’ll even gift you cash to make it happen. How sumptuous can surfing be?”
What does that mean? How much cash to make it happen? When and where? On what sort of craft? Our own Michael Ciaramella just stuck a superman and the swell + wind is supposed to be perfect for airs all week in Cardiff-by-the-Sea.
Michael? You got this? Make it pay!
Local bodyboarder kid? How hard could it be!
If you got this much content out of their “about” section just imagine what you could get from their media kit! The articles would write themselves!
Well the about section no one looks at it except you Chas and “It’s university students who’ve smelt the roses and don’t swallow the evening news. ” and… well back to that “doobie-suckers” statement and now were at public 720. Geez!
Notice how empowering to women Stab is. “Got a 720 in your sights? You’re our MAN. We’ll even gift you cash to make it happen.” Seems like a cowardly scheme to dissuade the progression of women doing aerials. But hey, like they declared, surfing is empowered women.
the empowered women part also confused me.
sumptuous? this confuses me.
When you drown yourself in champagne, its all glitz and glamour in the headlights.
oh this is maybe what i’m doing wrong! not enough champagne. seems like adding cocaine could help too!
It sure will!
There are times when even seagulls refuse to shit where you ate.
I’ll have the fish n’ chips.