"Cheyne Magnusson is the kind of talent you build around."

The Maui surfer and former reality TV star Cheyne Magnusson has enjoyed only the briefest of periods of unemployment following his split from the Palm Springs Club with the announcement that he’s been picked up by Endless Surf as its new Surf Design and Operations Manager.

Magnusson, you know well.

The lightly corpulent red-head starred in the MTV reality show Maui Fever. It may be hard to believe, but, often, Cheyne had to contend with myriad women fighting to have their wombs scraped by his crooked sword. Cursed by god, but succeeding beyond all measure, how could anyone not admire Mr Magnusson. Plus, he ripped.

Many years ago now, back when I actually picked up a telephone, I asked him if being red been an impediment in your life and how can a red find love and sex.

Lyons is one of those rare birds who doesn’t hide behind a defence of mental illness or abuse or a claim of innocence

The children’s surf coach and WSL surfer Connor Lyons, who was charged with multiple sex crimes against kids last December, and, a few months later, four more charges of indecent treatment of kids under twelve, has pleaded guilty in a Sunshine Coast court.

You’ll remember a few months back he told the court “all the charges on there are true.”

Connor Lyons, twenty-six and representing himself after benching his lawyer, is one of those rare birds who doesn’t hide behind a defence of mental illness or abuse or a claim of innocence or even a misunderstanding. It makes it a helluva lot easier for the cops, the prosecution and the families of the four kids he abused.

All up, Lyons carries thirty-three charges linked to the four alleged child victims, the crimes happening between 2022 and 2024, with the heaviest charge carrying a possible 20-year sentence.

They encompassed inappropriate conduct with minors under 16 and producing child exploitation content.

According to police, Lyons recorded his own illicit activities and saved the files on an external hard drive. Examination of his laptop allegedly revealed connections to child exploitation materials, including a video depicting a nude child changing.
Documents opposing his bail noted that Lyons allegedly told investigators he used the material and videos for sexual gratification and that he would “get off” to the kiddie porn.

Further analysis of his laptop allegedly pointed to child exploitation literature, and police claim Lyons also acknowledged committing offences against children during a trip to China. Lyons reportedly admitted to exposing himself to minors on several occasions.

He told detectives that his intent was to gauge their interest and to normalise the behaviour for them.

Whatever you think of Connor Lyons, it’ll be a quick trial and get, you’d think, five-to-ten behind bars.

He’ll remain in protection for the duration unless he’s feeling suicidal and faces the yard.

Below the liners, did you experience creeps bein’ creepy when you were a kid? I got nothing except, once, an old clubbie tugging at my little speedos as I refused his personal tour of the “clubhouse.”