BeachGrit's guide to your water-based fashion!
Welcome to a brand new BeachGrit feature called Faux/Real™ where we examine beach + water fashion and tell you if it is FAUX or REAL!
(For those who don’t speak French “faux” means “artificial or not real. For those who don’t speak English “real” means réal.)
And first up we have surfing in a speedo.
Which is totally REAL.
Surfing speedo man don’t care all. He don’t care about you. He don’t care about me. He don’t care about the hair on his upper thigh that is now part of his wax. Surfing speedo man is going to breeze through the coming apocalypse and, fingers crossed, still be able to breed. If he runs over you in the lineup apologize to him for being embarrassed about your own wiener.
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The rare times that I consider California warm enough to trunk, I’ll surf in Speedos. No rashes, and so much nicer to bodysurf to your board if you lose it.
Never in Hawaii though. I’m not trying to get my ass kicked.
Well you certainly shouldn’t do both on the same side…
Inside rail side?
The only issue is that it would make you less aerodynamic
I thought I put this question up earlier but i must have been dreaming….Chas, do you dream of Dale Staples surfing in Speedos?? Does derek dream of Pyzal surfing in Speedos??
When Pottz described De Souza as “there’s not much of him! He’s a little nugget!”, there is little doubt Pottz was thinking speedo de souza faux real.
I worry they’re going to fall down? What if they fall down.
France right?
Another super fun day grovelling on my Puddle Jumper
Totally for it. Especially for bumming out the dudes with Gay Panic.
You know what is becoming way too real but is actually really really faux?
People digging out fucking enormous boards and/or forgetting their leash “because it’s summer”.
If I’m going to be crushed to death surfing I’d prefer something slightly more stylish.
So, you either live in Byron or Noosa. Am I right?
Both lovely destinations stricken with pathological foam(wood): leash ratios. Sadly, I live in the European equivalent of Bondi.
A cornucopia of swimsuit delights!
Cornwall?
Sochi, Russia?
Oh I wish! Then I could do the Eco SUP Tour!
La Grande Plage in Biarritz ?
What about surfing European swimsuit man?
You talking about the sort of thing that creeps down your thighs slightly but is still skin tight?
That’s the one.
Once at a surf connest I was coordinating, a pair of Euro swimsuit men walked past the the area just as our commentator was given the microphone.
“I’d like to welcome everybody to the BSSA Surfing Competition this morning and an esssspecially big welcome to our European friends modelling the latest fashions for us today”.
He then stops, hands the mic to me and says
“Nah mate, I’m just going to get in trouble on this thing”.
And that was the end of the colour commentary for the day.