Who will be the last man standing? (Hint: The People™)
I had one moment of respite today and it coincided directly with the thought, “I wonder what people are saying about blink-182 + Surf Ranch on the World Surf League’s own Instagram?” I know mine has been blown up with, “Can you believe this shit?” And, “What in the world surf league were they thinking?” And, “Seriously?” And, “Alien Goblincock.” And, “Imagine having to pay to watch a surfing comp and then listen to these cunts? Fuck that!”
But what about @WSL’s social media? Were they copping an equal amount of… passion?
I used that one moment of respite to find out and was shocked by the complete positivity.
taufik41 Wish i could be there!!!!!! Blink and surfing are perfect
tiannephotoWhhhhaaaaaattttttt?!?!?? 😳😳😳 you get to see blink at the contest?!?!? @jeremyryan__ … I’m soooo jealous 🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈😩😩😩😩
jonnyyybgood @allierenees we’re going. It’s not even a question
jackfreestone So sick
On and on it goes a whole 250 times with the odd grumpy surfer comment thrown in for good measure but the excitement, once again, shocked me. Shocked me before the reality landed. The WSL and I are both stuck in feedback loops. Pushing an agenda then getting buoyed by the response. Of course I know that my agenda, making surfing dirty again, cocaine (buy here!), etc. is correct and the WSL’s is misguided and/or very sinful model is bound for ultimate failure but, I suppose, Backward Fin Beth and the lot must only be getting hyped and it makes more sense how emails like this get sent.
Beth: Mr Ziff, hope this email finds you well. Just wanted to point out that @trent_vy is telling @br0ckmiller “bro that would be the coolest thing we could ever do.” in regards to our Surf Ranch + blink-182 rollout. Have a great lunch. Order the poke but remember it is pronounced pok-é not poke as in, ‘Jack Freestone just poked you on Facebook.’ Big Shakas, Beth.
It’s gonna be a real letdown when they realize Chas Smith is one of 700 other blink-182/professional surf fans attending over the four day run.
700/4 = 175 per day.
Feedback loops are the worst.
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Jocks with surfboards bro-ing out with shitty beers to shitty bands.
Surfer aren’t the worst, the have just lost all cool.
I’ll pop in my VHS copy of Runman 69 and remember the bad old days
The WSL is run by a bunch of yobbo’s. If they had any common sense, they’d invest in fucking LIGHTS at the Ranch. Like Stadium lights ya know?? Let the surfers surf a couple rounds in the day and a couple rounds at night. Give the crowd an option to attend for a few hours in the day, go back to the Motel 6 when there’s heats they don’t want to see, take a nap and come back. Run and finish the contest in TWO days/nights on A WEEKEND and not 2 weekdays and 2 weekend days you know? They’re expecting people to come from who knows where to ….Lemoore? There’s nothing to fucking do there for christ’s sake. The visitors are going back to their hotel rooms or air bnbs at night and do WHAT?? Have a few bands play all day and night while the surfing is going on. Beer gardens, Flat screen tvs going on at night. Get em drunk so they get beer surf googles and think they’re looking at 2ft Snapper. Let them wage money or shots on who gets the next highest score on the next wave. Play drinking games on how many times Joey Turpel says “send it”. Make it fun goddammit. Cause as it stands now… not too much fun is gonna be happening in the water or with the competitors. Ask most sports fans who attend stadium events… Many go there for the EXPERIENCE more so than the VIEWING of the sport itself. It is the tailgating, the drinking, the shaking bleachers, the high fives. Because sitting 10 stories up in a 75k seat stadium sure does not give you great views of the action on the field, nor replays like modern broadcasts do. Most have to watch the Jumbotron to even know who caught the ball. Most are so drunk they don’t remember many of the actual plays.
Good points…
All nighter sounds like a Chas play book, Cocaine and all. Maybe add in some Club Rock Za and Feme New like entertainment and the place would be jammin. You could call it “Kelly’s Heroes”.
Every hotel in town is booked solid. My dread of this whole thing grows by the day
every hotel and possibly airbnb is booked solid. But again.. I ask a simple question… what are all those out-of-towners going to do at night… for 4 NIGHTS in a row? Don’t you think they would be much better off being allowed to hang at the Ranch til 10-11pm? Snowboarding has nighttime pipe riding. It’s insane. A static, even playing field. The viewers will ultimately have to be there for the SCORES as there is absolutely no chance in hell that a 6ft teepee will pop up with 30seconds to go. lol
You can always gamble with the Australians at the Tachi.
I came back to Bg after a month away and was not surprised to see Chas stuck on the backward fin and Lemoore topic!! Got me thinking…..maybe Chas, having analysed your feeble attempts to generate speed on the Lemoore wave and indeed all attempts at even a legit. bottom turn…that maybe you should try your fins going backwards!!?? There’s definitely little to lose so has to be worth a try??
mountain came to mohamad then…
The three first WSL social media accounts you cited are clearly fake. i’m not sure about the “jackfreestone” one, though. It sounds like the name of a pro surfer, so I guess it’s a real one. I guess he is not invited.
Chas, $10 on Fiverr will get you 250 fake social media comments. BFB’s budget surely would afford a couple thousand.
Dear Beth,
[Big Finger]
astro
Beth could take that as #metoo….or did you mean middle?
middle, bro.
The Big Shakas from Beth made me feel like I wanted to throw up so I ran with Big.
The thing with a feedback loop is it’s a lot like the Surf Ranch. Sure you start the right way, but when the right way ends, all you have is what’s left. What’s left isn’t like what’s right, but in the end you’re left where it feels most right. Plus loop spelled backwards is pool which cannot be just a coincidence.
Holy fuck Otto! You’ve broken their code.
So long buddy. You’ll be disappeared soon. Nice knowing you. You’d better run for the Ecuadorian embassy!
I figured I’d hide at Surf Ranch. With 174 people there per day, that’ll be the last place they’ll expect to find me.
you counted it wrong, they are 182…
That confirms it…seeing as Tom Delonge is part of a UFO truth campaign, we can now say, without reservation, that the GOAT is an E.T.
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
I hope they open with “Shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker tit fart turd and twat”
They haven’t blacklisted you Chas?
They are waiting to do it in public at the gate on the way in.
Chas would be smart to make his own drinks and only eating where Kelly feeds from….and don’t stand under heavy things.
Putting a life insurance policy out on Chas would be a epic idea.
Is it really Blinky-182 though?
I mean it’s all very well them attempting to start something new (back in the 90s) but shouldn’t we respect those that came before us and forged these ancient band names in the depths of Mordor?
Co-tay would tell you straight; it’s a Blinky-362.
The stage is an acoustical halfpipe.
364
I went through that same mistake myself.
But 182 + 180 = 362.
Ergo proctologist nullabor
You’re both missing the point and getting sucked in.
Cote is a revert.
I dunno man, isn’t ‘revert’ kinda un-PC these days?
Aren’t we supposed to say ‘differently-forward’ or something?
Sorry, you’re right.
I had been dwelling in my spirit cave.
Apologies to any tender souls out there reading.
I meant to type retard, but revert was suggested by the spellchecker. Must be programmed when Cote is used. Is appropriate, donchathink ?
Imma thinkin your spellchecker probably has its own Disqus handle and posts here on BG
Come on, don’t be such a revert.
Cote does my head in.
Chas…why are they letting you in…cause your paying? I’m a conspiriture, I trust few.
These guys are theives, and there is no honor among thieves!
🤔
emojii-free zone this is
the use of the emoji is not adding substance to the “conspiriture” claim
con-spirit-ur-e? Sounds Australian-y.
Maybe he didn’t put it there. Maybe “Big Emoji” added it to undercut his bold truths. #☺️IsHillary
i will go ahead and confess, if we’re confessing, that with enough free tequila i would probably mosh to just about anything? so drink lots of tequila is my suggestion.
What’s worse during the broadcast, the punk rock band song or “I wanna go surfennn…”?
The latter.
At least “I wanna go surfing” plays nicely. The Blink182.0 song keeps cutting.
Nah the cunts just have no rythym.
thought it was “I want to go SUPping? sure sounds like it
The cunts in this band are definitely on the 7S Fish program.
Jack Freestone knows some “Big Shakas” when he sees em’