"I think having the flexibility..."
Wild times etc. Weird times et. al. but if there is one thing we have learned to count on it is that professional surfing, in its most modern incantation, will continue to be weirder.
But what?
But how?
California’s governator, future presidential hopeful, and unfortunate eye candy Gavin Newsom just mandated masks be worn by all his state’s happy citizens.
Masks everywhere in public.
World Surf League CEO and one-time Oprah Winfrey stalwart, Erik Logan, not to be outdone, forced a new internal mandate that the three employees left, himself included though possibly excluding right hand and senior vice president of brand identity Dave Prodan, who has been accused of hosting an overwhelmingly caucasian podcast, conduct their phone business in 45 minutes or less.
But why?
Front Office Sports reports that, “Logan saw almost instantly that WSL employees were productive and able to schedule an abundance of phone calls – to the point where he encouraged them to take fewer calls. Going forward, he has mandated that no work calls are to exceed 45 minutes in length.”
The piece goes on to state that Logan has “been changed as a leader” and is trying to better understand the remaining employees self-care routines. Like, I assume, how to live on 1/3 of their former salaries and how to continue to draw salaries even though zero professional surfing now exists.
According to Logan, “There’s not a need that I see in the imminent future that has to say we have to be pushed back into an office in a very accelerated or short amount of time but, there is a need for human interaction. There’s a need for human connection, but I think having the flexibility and the openness that we have as an organization for people to do that could be a game changer for a lot of reasons.”
Those lot of reasons are forthcoming.
The World Surf League currently has unused offices in Santa Monica, Australia, France, Portugal, South Africa, Brazil, and New York though not Hawaii, which is currently seceding from the League and taking professional surfing with it.
More as the story develops.
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I love Chas through and through… but when it comes to this sickening photo, it is hard to go against your claim…
coincidence that elos palms are so loose next to a stiffened chas ?
Lol he skipped gleefully into the belly of the beast and is now upset that surfers don’t work very hard 😂 Surprise, brah.
You think he employs surfers?
Savage lol
Is 45 mins the time it takes for you to drown in your own spittle whilst talking and wearing a mask???
I had no idea that Erik Logan was so into numerology. The number 45 is an angel number.
A compass opens at forty five degrees indicates that the matter is not completely dominated: there is not perfect balance between the forces of the spirit and the matter.
The sum of first nine numbers placed in increasing or decreasing order, 123456789 and 987654321, gives obviously 45. And the difference between these two great numbers gives a result of nine digits, 864197532, of which the sum of each one gives also 45!
E-Lo the mystic, tapping into the cosmos and sacred mathematics.
You are weird, not unlike NonJohn
John Non John, a conundrum for prostitutes.
It wouldn’t matter which order you put them … if you sum them you’ll always get the same number
Hey man, I was just cuttin’ and pastin’. Back off.
Sorry bro, no malice intended
No need to be sorry. Its just Beach Grit
So is the WSL the Joker and Beach Grit Batman? Or is it the other way ’round?
Either way, what happens once the gangreneous WSL finally withers up and sloughs off the Ziffs corporate corpus?
Double down on sharks?
Beach Gristle?
We currently don’t have the competitive surf paradigm we want, but we have the one we deserve.
the dream will never die ZW……that’s whats most beautiful about it.
it will find a new mind to colonise.
Are you talking about world class competitive surfing or about Beach Grit (Gristle?).
Either way I agree!
Not unlike Naeglaria fowleri
is that the brain amoeba that got the Waco kid?
Top and Power Bottom. Your call as to which is which.
What did Ziff actually buy? and what is left to sell?
reminds me of a dying moth buzzing away in the window sill
Poetic. It’s made me wonder…. if so many Americans are living on 1/3 of their salary is this the first time in history that the Americans have eaten more 2 minute noodles than the Chinese? Will noodles become American food? Do you think more people have Instagram accounts or vote in America? In light of the above, how long do you give them? Realistically?
Well Zimbabwe and venezuela is hangin in there.
If that’s a guide
No, our freezers are full from the panicked buying spree when we had earnings.
Take most of the summer to discover the stash of cheap noodles.
Reminds me of a
Dying moth buzzing away
In the window sill
Boom ! Cheers.
“Since the switch, not only has productivity risen across the board for the WSL – which has offices in Santa Monica, Australia, France, Portugal, South Africa, Brazil, and New York – but it has shown him that opinions about working from home can change.”
I would really love to know how they are tracking an increase in productivity? Sounds like it’s based on the daily number of phone calls being scheduled!
It strikes me that the wsl is also tracking ‘mouse movement’ on screens. There is a sharp increase whenever Rosy appears. Bex is in for a long couple of months.
July 6, 2020 – Erik “ELo” Logan peppily strolls into his office building, the headquarters of the WSL in Santa Monica, croissant (which he pronounces “qwoiyssannn” because he thinks it’s funny) in one hand and drink holder holding three drinks of coffee in the other, and sees Senior Vice Admiral/Regent of Brand Management and Corpospeak Obfuscation, Dave Prodan, sitting in a plastic chair in the building’s tastefully barf kitchenette. Pumped from a holiday weekend spent in the Hamptons, backyard BBQ’ing and hosting virtual happy hours with friends, his reminiscing is cut short when he notices Ol’ Prodizzle (Erik’s name for him) wearing his mask only mostly on his nose.
“You are going to need to pull that up! We can’t risk each others’ lives with the Coronavirus!” exclaimed ELo.
“Um, you were the one who asked me to come in today. I could’ve been maximizing holistic covalent synergies and rapidiously synthesizing fungible initiatives from home,” grumbled Prodie.
“You’re right, you could’ve, but since we can no longer be on the phone for longer than 45 minutes at a time, we should be here to talk to each other about ideas that we don’t have and interact on a person-to-person level. Being together, we can hack the mainframe!”
“I don’t think you know what that means… I don’t understand that, though, why did we do that again? I mean, I’m all for and like bullshit reasoning to make ridiculous business decisions as much as the next guy, but I don’t understand. Is it because you can’t do Zoom over 40 minutes free and you didn’t want to pay anymore?”
“No, of course not! I think we shouldn’t be forced to have drag on conversations… you know, for health reasons.”
“What would those be? Am I still able to do my podcasts?”
“Haha, well. You should be cutting them down to 12 minutes, anyway. 12 is the magic number!”
ELo walks away from Dave towards his office before he realizes, “Hey, have you seen Pat? When is he coming in?”
“Don’t know! He’s supposed to in around 9:07. You know how weirdly specific on his timing he is. Hey, was one of those coffees for me!” yelled Dave, his voice trailing off, at least in ELo’s mind because he just stopped listening.
ELo opens his office door and puts down his things on his desk. He hears the front door open.
“Patchy?… Patches? Is that you?!”
“Yes, Erik. I’m in,” Pat says as he walks in the door and gives Prodie a head tilt nod things like people used to do in the ’90s. ELo walks out to greet him.
“Do you have any calls or interviews today?” he asks Pat.
“No. Who would I be talking to? We’ve got nothing to do. I was just going to go into my office and play with my Spitfire Techdecks.”
“Wow! That certainly sounds like fun!”
He walks down the hall with Pat and ends up steering him into his office.
“So, I wanted to talk.”
“About?”
“I think Prodizzle talks on the phone too much, that he might be a little too (whispers)… chummy with negative industry people. (Normal voice now) I think we may need to spy on him.”
“What?! Dave doesn’t give a shit about whoever or whatever it is you think he does. He’s fine. He doesn’t give anything away. I mean, he has that Obscuffedcation title.”
“Obfuscation. I guess you’re right. I don’t know. Let’s just listen in on him to make sure… please, Patchy?!”
“No. This is crazy! I mean, if I need to do it to keep my job, I guess so… but we don’t do anything anyway. This job is CUSH.”
“I know, but as a man of acti… a man of making it look like he’s acting, I think we need to do something.”
“Spy?”
“Yes, think of how great a story that is! We can just say we are enforcing rules and trying to be safe!”
“I don’t know what that or the phone talking policy have anything to do with safety or public health.”
“It doesn’t matter if it actually matters, just that it looks like it does. You feeling me, Patches?”
“I guess… I take it you’ve already started…” sighs Pat.
“Oh, yes! Yesterday, I overheard him talking to Griff, and they were talking about Pokemon, like Prodizzle was saying Charizard is only good in the anime and that he has a prized old Charizard card, but then Griff told him that he doesn’t know that he does suck. Then they talked about mac n’ cheese for 23 minutes. Griff said like 7 words… I think they’re the only ones he knows.”
“I guess we’re doing this then.”
“Yes! Go to your desk and put on your headphones. I already got everything set up for you.”
“Oy vey.”
Pat walks to into his office and puts on his headphones.
Love it!
I watched my first WSL poddy the other day but only cause Rosie was on and only for 5 mins, then I cleaned myself up and had a great day.
Mate! It’s the internet you could do so much better!
My finger started hovering over T girls.
Had to put a Norton app lock on it. Only my mum Knows the pin
Every time a guest says something interesting, Prodan makes a comment about himself and then moves on to the next question on his list without leaning into it. Makes me crazy!
that was a movie, (or sitcom episode), script I would watch!
That’s what the Producers who stole Ben Marcus’ script said. And it’s haunted him ever since.
If Hawaii blocks the WSL than its dead , no matter how many pools they build.
Fuk that, I’d rather watch cloudy anyday
Fuk hawaii.
Got it bexie, and we know, the ‘Pros’ hate coming to Hawaii anyway and we all know why- instead of the star treatment they often get treated like exactly what they are … and they don’t care for that much …
Sounds like a nasty bunch of degenerates over there.
South Pacific Polynesian are much friendlier.
Nope, just some good folks who police there own breaks, which happen to be among the world’s best, and, so importantly, most consistent. Yeah, I guess the Teahupoʻo crew is really sweet and welcomes you with open arms though … unh hunh … they have always been super cool to me tho …
It just sounds like.
Haven’t been as Huli Opu said he’d bash me if I lobbed.
You seem cool!!
Everyone is actually cool here, No Snake No Worry, the problem of course is the pros all snake and so their little groupies think they should too, and then the hammer comes down again and again … I love these Islands so much!!!
Actually I’m reminded of this Tongan guy I used to work with when I was about 18.
We were really good mates, then one arvo after work we got on the piss and he bashed the shit outta me.
Next day at work he’s crying and begging forgiveness.
No worries ya big cunt, but only doobs from now on!!
Damn bexie you do know your Tongans … if you are ever on Maui check out Namauu Street …
You too! Fuck every time those lads got pissed i got slapped for nothing lol
Aww Bexy, what’s a little bashing between friends? You know I love you. Tell ya what. Let’s kiss and make up proper. You can stay anytime in my beach cottage with Lance Boardryder. Just don’t snake Joe Deal. He’s very lovable but hardly as forgiving as I am.
Sweet bra!!
I was really close to being there last pipefest but the Mrs vetoed as she’s from the tropics and couldn’t give a shit about palm trees and sunsets.
Spent the holiday $$ at the snow instead.
We got plenty of Laird’s Creamer here too if that helps inspire the Mrs.
hahahahahhahahaha
Well heads up she’s a bit of a showoff.
She likes prancing around like JOBS girl. In fact they look very similar
Can we see Mrs Bex creamer?
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Impressive 👍
Bex!
See the left under that tummy.
That’s my spot.
That’s some next level shit there Bexy. Posting a photo of the Wifey.
But yeah, Equally impressed and sickened that you went there.
@ThePrinceofUbatuba:disqus you’re up next Buddy…
I tried but couldn’t get an image under your 5MB requirements due to the size of her fat fucken arse mate.
moon face who looks like 10 lbs of sausage in a 5 lb bag?
I see what you did there… that is some heavy reverse psychology!
Don’t mess with me
Those other offices are actually hydro labs.
That would actually be a smart idea
Can we get some cops to visit Elo.
I’m lost?
Basically, Chas is on holiday so just threw a handful of words together for us to decipher.
Holiday again????
He is his wife’s sherpa. And according to the photo caption a surf journalist.
You just can not make this crap up…….the Wozzel – the gift that just keeps on giving.
Fuck corpo speak.
How to talk without saying a fucken thing.
Weirdo !
You just gotta change the paradigm to think outside the box to capture influencers into shifting the market share of transient shoppers into a semi permanent brand loyalist.
translation: forever 21 ran the surf apparel industry into the ground, then imploded itself … Orange County’s once influential non-descript warehouses are now being used to house car collections, which are actually a pretty big thing in the OC so they make more money now then when Quicksilver was using all that, shall we say, Indo Money, to finance ops back in the day … sure, we remember the Maui Cannery booooooooyyyssss …