Kolohe Andino on a CI Happy. | Photo: @ciatreiser

Swinger’s Ball: Conner Coffin is officially out of Channel Islands’ hometown door but is San Clemente’s Kolohe Andino pouncing through crack like a sexy cat?

Championship time?

You…… you are a grown woman. You have fallen in love and fallen out of love and fallen back in love then rudely shifted your eyes around wondering if you should be back in love or maybe there is something better.

Conner Coffin, sweet Santa Barbara boy, is currently in the throes of a very public breakup with hometown surfboard maker Channel Islands.

We, of course, remember Channel Islands surfboards via Tom Curren and his Black Beauty, Kelly Slater and the only boards he ever won on (a huge shame that he left in retrospect), Dane Reynolds and… Conner Coffin, I suppose.

Conner was never a household name but did make it on to the Championship Tour with a beautiful turn and gorgeous personality.

Now he is gone, from Channel Islands, but will the only American with an actual shot at the title fill his slot?

Maybe.

Kolohe Andino is the greatest surfer dyed red, white and blue of the last decade. A proper star even today but with so much left in the tank.

And rumor has it that Kolohe wants to fill that tank with Channel Islands boards. An undeniable pedigree, impossible to beat pedigree, if we’re honest.

Also what meaningful has Matt Biolos won?

Think hard.

If Kolohe does indeed jump to CI then will a championship follow?

Much to ponder.

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Otto
Otto
6 years ago

It’s funny how the logic of doing that seems to escape them.

Mapski
Mapski
6 years ago

Matt will soon release his two new models, the Grand Wizard and Imperial Dragon, built for the everyman Orange County surfer. He’s also looking to copyright the words Klayhem and Klost…

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago
Reply to  Mapski

He might want to check those names out with the Kleagle eagles.

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
6 years ago

I’m confused. Is the board brand …lost, or is it Mayhem?

Shroom
Shroom
6 years ago

Fuck this lack of content is so crook.. so I’m gonna throw this out there cause our skate bros and gals never sleep on shit so I’m taking inspiration from them. Plus I’m pretty railed on some chronic home grown so bear with..
I’m cribbing Thrasher Mag heavily but take super iconic images from surfings past and try recreate the same image at the same spot with someone like Mason who has a well rounded approach and respect for the culture..

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  Shroom

Got anything else?

Shroom
Shroom
6 years ago

I’m a deep well of useless shed born ideas soaked in beer and turnt on hyrdo bucket bongs ready to be tapped mate..

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  Shroom

I’m off the weed cause I can’t afford to lose my license.
Now I’m a bit cuntier than usual.
Enjoy!!

Shroom
Shroom
6 years ago

Yeah me neither, run my own biz etc..just on the full spec thc oil these days..but u haven’t got onto the oral gel ya can pick up from the local chemist?
Shit has saved me 3 outta 3 times I’ve ever got da tongue limbo test by the RDT s

astro
astro
6 years ago
Reply to  Shroom

Reknaw Trendy Drinks ?

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  Shroom

Gel ay?
Truckies toothpaste for Truckies tooth paste, i

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
6 years ago
Reply to  Shroom

Mason would be a good fit for the retro pic re-shoots. He’s already done a fair impression of the classic Brock shot from the 90′ Eddie. He took on a beastly close out and pearled Brockishly in the 16′ Eddie.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
6 years ago

Though to get the rider height to wave height scale in correct proportion, Mason’s wave was actually 12′ on the ‘Stathom’ scale…

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
6 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

haha yep. 12 foot, aka 4x overhead on the Maso scale!

german_surfer_007
german_surfer_007
6 years ago

A free midlength to rubbish Biolos?

ricmatic
ricmatic
6 years ago

What would pro surfing do without BG?
More Nothing.

Scott Ellison
Scott Ellison
6 years ago

A.I. did pretty good on mayhem’s, or was I dreaming that

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
6 years ago
Reply to  Scott Ellison

Yeah, he always kept a raft of Mayhems in his quiver.

Justin Housman
Justin Housman
6 years ago

Hey, I ride Channel Islands too, now

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
6 years ago
Reply to  Justin Housman

We all know you just ride Mountain bikes and soft tops.

J H
J H
6 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

I’m barely riding my beach cruiser these days.

Otto
Otto
6 years ago

When will we see a new name on the board of a CT’r? Surely there must be talent in a shaping bay out there somewhere, someone who has ideas for these Pros, ideas to help escape their competitive ruts. Names we haven’t heard time and time again, except perhaps at some local.

Yesterday's hero
Yesterday's hero
6 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Christian Bradley…. I saw lots of them in pieces spread over the beach in Hossegor this week. They go good, the man can shape.

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
6 years ago

Has it been uncrowded? I’m fucking spewing.

Yesterday's hero
Yesterday's hero
6 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

Pretty crowded but lots of waves anyway. La nord has a killer bank but that’s it so everyone has been on it.

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
6 years ago

And are titties still allowed on the beach?

Yesterday's hero
Yesterday's hero
6 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

Compulsory

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
6 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Will Webber (sick shaper) & Morgan Cibilic.. Should the ronarama fog ever lift, and the tour comes back to life that is.. Lotta maybes in there eh?

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago
Reply to  Otto

If Cronulla ever produces a pro surfer again, chances are they’ll be riding a ‘Paterson’. Stu has the eye and hands backed by experience.

Uneducated
Uneducated
6 years ago

Roy and HG would have had an absolute ball commentating young conner
I’m thinking “Conner Can ya Dig it Coffin”, but they’d have done so much better

(Apologies to non Australians who’ve no idea what im talking about)

Uneducated
Uneducated
6 years ago
Reply to  Uneducated

Dam it the more I think about it the more I miss those 2 guys. They could seriously save surfing, imagine them commentating…even Kelly’s wave pool would be fun to watch…
The searing show your bulldog bottom turn
Carving cream pie cutbacks
You’d have kalohe the albino andino
Kelly legs 11 slater…

Help me out with some others?

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  Uneducated

Funky cold Medina.
Owen, frankenfurter Wright.
Mi key bump wright.

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
6 years ago
Reply to  Uneducated

Buggati Ferrari
Jules “Hollywood” Wilson
Princess Margaret Andino
John “2 Joints” Florence
Flippy Torpedo
The Huntington Samurai
They all sound good in Roy & or HG’s voices in my head.

Uneducated
Uneducated
6 years ago

Hahaha, Hollywood Wilson, perfect

“Hollywood drew that carve out so long, he had time to take a selfie, and post it on instagram”

Itallo the energiser bunny
Felipe one flew over the cuckoos nest toledo

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
6 years ago
Reply to  Uneducated

I saw Puppetry of the Penis once. 2 Australian blokes. Was able to follow their humor ok.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago

Sailing. I am sailing.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago
Reply to  Uneducated

I got as far as ‘The Con Man’.

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
6 years ago
Reply to  Uneducated

All Chas and longtom have to do is emulate Roy and Hg in the podcast or preferably a contest and they’ll be famous. Remember the “yes, and” rule when commentating and you’ll shit it in.

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
6 years ago

How shit is Conner Coffin with a guitar in hand? Can’t blame Kolohe jumping ship. Those Swordfish things look fucken rank. Biolos needs to get off xHamster and start having a serious think about where his shaping is going.

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
6 years ago

Connor makes me want to quit guitar and take up croquet.

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
6 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

He’s got the blues, man

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
6 years ago

He’s definitely got shit taste in music that’s for sure.

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
6 years ago

“Also what meaningful has Matt Biolos won?”
I’m sure a few pie eating contests.

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
6 years ago

A few hands of blackjack and bottle of everclear judging by his perma-beard.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
6 years ago

Five world titles via Carissa and Tyler, yes?

Shroom
Shroom
6 years ago

Fuck he comes off as the typically insufferable no-it-all yank with a twist of war nerd… yuck

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
6 years ago

Six crowns, actually, Carissa got four of ’em.

astro
astro
6 years ago

Well, I’ll be the prick and state the obvious.
If you’re fem – Matt’s yer man.

Owen Wright's Brains
Owen Wright's Brains
6 years ago

ha. they don’t count.

Shroom
Shroom
6 years ago

Now he can claim Matt Pieholeos

Instalo Feedeira
Instalo Feedeira
6 years ago
Reply to  Shroom

He will shout everywhere he is the great Bieholeos. https://media0.giphy.com/me…

Yesterday's hero
Yesterday's hero
6 years ago

The thought of Biolos losing his child prodigy is far more enticing than wherever Andino goes let alone a world title. Biolos should take a note out of Pyzel’s humble book and drop the arrogance.

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
6 years ago

If kolohe does go to channel islands it’s because Matt told him too so he wouldn’t have to pay him while the industry/ world crumble. Burton money goes further in a bad economy.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
6 years ago

Kolohe and Jordy have alot in common. Both not winning and riding boards from 5 different shapers.

Shroom
Shroom
6 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Julians been on JS forever and apart from his Insta clips can’t transpose that into linking a few wins.. more a mindset, all three are sitting pretty and could walk away right now and live a fat life..

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
6 years ago
Reply to  Shroom

Or all three could start a run for a title.

astro
astro
6 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Hahahahar – wct warriors-oops, forgot to add ace !
Oohhh, and also bobby, coz he doesn’t win any more.

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
6 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

I thought he looked really good on his old man’s board “stab in dark”. Maybe I’m attached to the story line. How hard can it be to spend a few months tuning concave and rocker placement? As many of these guys have coach’s why not travel with shaper?

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago

The stickers on the board don’t mean much. I’m sure the majority of pros are only surfing ‘their’ labels boards if their shaper is actually at the contest.

If you’re not winning, you’re looking for the answer to be something other than your ability.


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