"It's so endemic to who we are as a sport."
As with many business, the Covid years have not been kind to our World Surf League. 2019 ended with such promise, one of the more exciting finals in professional surfing history delivering an Italo Ferreira title. Co-Waterperson of the Year and League owner, Dirk Ziff, buoyed by the thrill, quietly floated its availability on the market for $150m+. A newly appointed CEO Erik “ELo” Logan getting to work creating the programming of his dreams including unboxing shows and home tours. A Chief Community Officer, Tim Greenberg, sensing opportunity on new predominately pre-teen Chinese social media platform TikTok, declaring, “It’s so endemic to who we are as a sport.”
Enter the Peking Suck.
The 2020 World Championship Tour wiped off the books, much staff furloughed, Rumbles at the Ranch.
But at least the League still had TikTok, which it had grown its follower account to a robust 600,000, making it the fifth largest of any sporting league.
Greenberg, further declaring, “As [TikTok] creates enhanced tools and more opportunities for us to reach newer audiences, we want to make sure that we’re focused on what’s going to drive our business and that consumer journey that connects back to the WSL.”
Did those “enhanced tools” creating “newer audiences” involve Beijing spying, stealing user information, etc.?
Possibly, and last President Trump threatened to ban TikTok entirely from the U.S. market, something entirely within his power so to do.
Thankfully for girls aged 7 – 10 and the World Surf League, Trump reversed course over the weekend and gave Microsoft a 45-day window in which to purchase TikTok’s U.S., Canada, Australia and New Zealand operations.
Cautious relief could be sensed emanating from the World Surf League’s Santa Monica headquarters in the form of cute little dancing videos.
More as the story develops.
XFL sold for 15million – and they get 10x the eyeball of wsl?
It’s all starting to make sense now. Tic tocs links to Chinese. Slaters links to Chinese. Ziffs and choosen surfers links to Epstein( see photo).The convid 19 link to the Chinese.
It’s now all very clear what is going on
WSL Chief Executive Erik Logan says, “An holistic review of our key matrices determined TikTok is the most leveragable channel for engaging with endemic audience touch points in both reactive and proactive pivots. Stakeholders did at one point ideate positvely and non positively towards possible potential problematic positionisation from foreign players, but any such concerns were quashed when when we were able to secure three more Kelly Pools with Belt and Road funding.”
My girlfriend is Peking Suck.
TikTok seems pretty damn scripted… I would never subject myself to such an unpleasantry as viewing a shittok video, but from the stupid ads that I see, it all looks like they filmed their little videos with an idea in mind. In other words, scripted it. This article really makes me question the core ethos of the WSL. “You can’t _____ this.”
Is Elo not posting pics of himself surfing, or is BG not posting them?
the time has come for beachgrit to start its own surf league. It should run on as few rules as possible
1. 10 surfers that beachgrit readers pick via vote
2. surfers only get money if they win
3. no scoring, the judges just decide who surfed better and we all get to argue about it
4. all events are run without permits or permission. they run for as long as they can without getting shut down then they run longer as a “fuck the police/government” statement
5. no other rules (surfers can use whatever recreational/ performance enhancing drugs they’d like, they can aggravate the other surfers, etc…)
set it up
Shake that laffy taffy… Gurl…
https://www.tiktok.com/@lau…
Saving TikTok in the US could or could not take more than saving golf on Tuesday…
“Selema Mabena Masekela. Selema Mabena Masekela. Selema Mabena Masekela.”
Sal is whisper mumbling to himself already at 9:00 am, sitting in a lounge chair next to the pool. He is trying to calm himself down, sort of “zen” out. After going a full day without speaking to his best friend and spiritual leader, “The GOAT,” Kelly, who never answered his calls yesterday, despite the seven or so (could have been thirteen) attempts to reach him, he is trying to prevent a panic attack. For a guy with seemingly unlimited self-confidence and overly developed sense of self-worth, borne out of an overactive immuno response to deep insecurities about being a tool and having never been left wanting for mangy white cougars, he is surprisingly anxious about the possibility of golf with Kelly tomorrow. He wants to make sure they’re still on for it, because he really needs to feel those warm, blissful feelings of requited sycophancy. He can’t take it anymore and calls.
*Ring… ring… ring*
Kelly: Hello?
Sal: Yooooo, Kelllllayyyy, how’s it goin’ this morning? I totally saw that Freud quote you posted on your stories, as well as the re-post of Leo’s. So inspirational. You are awesome.
Kelly: Tell me something I don’t know. I’m fine. What did you call for?
Sal: I wanted to see what was going on with our golfing tomorrow. I was thinking we could do Escena in the morning.
Kelly: In Palm Springs? When did you go there?
Sal: I got out this weekend. I needed to get away from it all, the stress of everything… you know, LA and all that.
Kelly: Mmmhmm…
Sal: What better way than to come out to the desert? I mean, with the sun… this is God’s country right here…
Kelly: Yeah. So much life to live. Like an Eden.
Both pause, not because they realize how retarded that statement is, Palm Springs as Eden? Yeah, if Eden had no water to sustain life, was hot as fuck in an unpleasant way, and was still overcrowded…
Sal: So?…
Kelly: So, I don’t think I can make it out there? I mean, you know I’d be billing you for having my drive out there… drive time, gas, hotel expense, green fees…
Sal: Yeah, I know. Always.
Kelly: Still, I’m afraid I can’t. I’m heading up to Lemoore right now. Btw, you’re on speaker… (whispering to someone off speaker) say “hi,” Kalani
Kalani: Hi, Sal!
Sal: Hi, Kalani. How’s everything going with you?
Kalani: Oh, hehe, you know, I…
Kelly: Right, so we’re heading up to the Ranch. I need to practice before the Rumble…
Sal: Nonsense, you got that place on lock! You’re the best ever there or anywhere!
Kelly: True, but I still need to feel it. Goldy said I need to go and internalize the feeling before competing.
Sal: Bobcat Goldthwaite?
Kelly: Charlie…
Sal: Riiiight. Gnarly, bro. That guy is a G!
Kelly: I know, anyway…
*Noise off speaker*
Kelly: I’m not going to look at that TikTok. Chinese spies!… no offense, honey…
Kalani: None taken.
Kelly: They need to get out of the Galapagos!
Everyone sits in silence to wait for Kelly to calm down and move onto another topic. It should only be a few seconds or so…
Sal: Anyway, what about the muni course up in Lemoore tomorrow?
Kelly: I’m scheduled for tub time nearly all day. And, you’re in Palm Springs?
Sal: So, I’ll drive up there. We’ll have a great time!
Kelly: I don’t know. Golfing with you is…. Uhhhh….
Sal: Come on, it will be fun. Remember all those times in the late-90s when we’d go shoot some night holes down at Mission Bay?
Kelly: That shitty 9-hole?
Sal: Yeah, that place! It was fun because it was at night!
Kelly: Yeah, I do remember. What a shithole…
Sal: What do you say? I’ll head up this afternoon.
Kelly: Where will you stay?
Sal: Tachi… or if not there, I’ll stay in my car.
Kelly: We’ll see.
Sal: I’ll take that as a “Yes”
Kelly: OK, but don’t get your hopes up.
Sal: (desperation in his voice, very breathy) I need to see you. I love you, brother
Kelly: Well, you might not see me. I’ll be really busy. You’re welcome to try. Probably won’t work.
Kelly hangs up the phone, leaving Sal to scramble to make plans to get up to Lemoore. He is so excited. A several hour drive awaits him to see his idol and to the moment he is able to bask in the glow of his godly self-important soulmate. For one who doubts his chances, fear not, for Sal knows the GOAT’s secret weakness of falling for his friend’s effortful worship of him… or so Sal tells himself.
get sal on dirty water. this could be hilarious.. Chas has to be fucked up dirty though..
I can’t help but think Sal would have that “too nice to burn effectively” personality irl. Similar to ELogs but instead of being a walking press release he’d be just super complimentary to the hosts – might be distracting to watch though as he’d be constantly sweating the “seen” indicator to change to “typing” from Kelly in his texts.
A new high.
Lets all stop drinking the Chas koolaid and make Sal likable again.
Outstanding
I am seeing in the near future an episode where kelly accidentally stumbles into sals secret cellar…thinking its a spare bathroom. Its a shrine, walls covered in photos of himself…but mostly taken through his bathroom windows, bedroom windows. He turns to run out the door as fast as he can…but sal is standing there, smiling…
Come on K. V. Fanningshardt, that course in Mission Bay isn’t that bad. Not as bad as that Presidio Hills Golf Course in Old Town, even though I got my only hole in one there. I still have my card good for a free round of golf there, even though it was 18 years ago. And I’ve only played golf a few times in my life, but I have played both courses, and Sail Ho down at NTC/ Liberty Station. The lowest budget courses in San Diego are the only places where I have played. I just looked Presidio Hills on google maps and the grass is all brown, but it’s still open. Some day I will redeem my free round.
So good Karl – I wanted Sal to be so excited he was “quivering from the crown of his head to his anus”!!!!
Here for the Bobcat Goldthwait cameo.
WSL trying to monetize its content on TikTok, BG doing same with this dross? Bonne chance!
Boy, $150m+ just doesn’t buy you what it used to does it now?