@sharkgirlmadison | Photo: @sharkgirlmadison

Dead fifty-foot, forty-four-ton Sperm Whale sparks shark feeding frenzy on Australian beach; Surfers warned, “Stay out of the water between Ballina and Evans Head for the next week!”

Ballina is fifty miles from last Tuesday’s fatal shark attack at the Superbank and thirty from June’s fatal hit at Kingscliff, heading north, and a hundred miles to Wooli, headed south, where a teenager died one month ago.

If a further reason was needed to temporarily holster your board after three fatal attacks by Great Whites in three months along a few hundred clicks of Australian coastline, this might be it.

A fifty-foot, forty-four ton dead Sperm Whale, yeah the Moby Dick sort, washed up near South Wall Ballina, a sometimes rifling lefthander protected from the prevailing summer nor’easters.

Ballina is fifty miles from last Tuesday’s fatal shark attack at the Superbank and thirty from June’s fatal hit at Kingscliff, heading north, and a hundred miles to Wooli, headed south, where a teenager died one month ago.

The sight was as grim as it was photogenic.

And, to the surprise of nobody, along came the sharks to feed.

Self-described “shark girl” Madison Stewart has been posting drone images of the dead whale, and the prowling sharks, on her Instagram feed while warning surfers to avoid surfing, at least for a week or so.

View this post on Instagram

She was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I followed her for ages, watching her move in precision following oil coming from the dead whale. The beach was empty but I warned the few people on my walk back, including one lone surfer. I told him there are sharks around, to which he replied "when isn't there", I continued to mention "well it's different because of the whale carcass…" but he was already walking away. In many ways, I respect the surfers who will go no matter what, but do they respect where their choices could lead? The trauma of the first responders and families? Then to the culling and hunting of the sharks? At what point do we make people take responsibility for their actions? If you choose to surf downstream of a whale carcass, shouldn't the shark be relieved of the blame and consequences? For decades this species has been at the mercy of our inability to accept our place below them in the pecking order in their homes. Our egotistical domain over the oceans did more damage to them than any natural disaster has. Your actions as surfers directly effect the animals in the ocean. I'm not a good surfer but surfing has become a huge part of my life, surfing is supposed to be an appreciation of the ocean, not of egotistical dominion over it. That means knowing when to just stay out of the water sometimes. These sharks will remain in the area due to the smell. The energy expelled by sharks to find the whale will lead them to look elsewhere. PLEASE DO NOT SURF PATCHES BEACH OR BALLINA OR EVANS HEADS. #ballina #beach #byronbay #surf #sharkattack

A post shared by Madison Stewart (@sharkgirlmadison) on

Of course, y’can’t leave a dead hunk of blubber on the beach forever.

Workers, knee deep in the detritus of forty-five tons of dead Sperm whale. Photo via @balna_nsw

You live anywhere tween Coolangatta and Port Macquarie?

How you feeling right now?


Seven-timer Stephanie Gilmore with Caz Marks. | Photo: Steve Sherman/@tsherms

Sixty-six-year-old man arrested for allegedly stalking world surfing champion Stephanie Gilmore

Magistrate denies bail, noting the distance Squire Winter had travelled to allegedly bump into Gilmore and that it “indicated fixated behaviour and some degree in planning.”

A man, previously banned from coming within even half-a-click of seven-time world champ Stephanie Gilmore, has been charged after allegedly approaching Gilmore at the Tweed Coast Pro on Sunday.

Squire Winter, a sixty-six-year-old, told police he was a surf coach who’d “briefly worked with Steph” and that his understanding of the court order was that he only to stay one hundred metres away from Gilmore in the surf.

Police allege Winter had scared hell out of Gilmore in previous incidents earlier in the year and that she had sought a personal violence order.

As part of the order, Winter wasn’t allowed to contact Gilmore, look for her or come within five hundred metres of her or her workplace.

In facts tendered to court, Winter allegedly appeared next to Gilmore as she was unloading a surfboard from her car.

Police allege Winter said, “Hi, how are you going?”

Gilmore responded, “Great, thank you,” before recognising Winter.

When he suggested “catching up later” she said, “No, no we won’t. Bye.”

Police allege Winter said, “We are going to catch up later, aren’t we?”

Gilmore said “No” and walked away.

Winter was allegedly found by police fifty metres from the carpark.

He allegedly told ‘em he was on his way to Brisbane, an hour or so north, and that he saw Gilmore on his way back from the shitter.

Appearing by video link from the Tweed Heads Police Station on Monday, Winter pleaded not guilty to contravening an apprehended violence order.

The police prosecutor opposed bail and said Winter had a “long history” of violence and breaching apprehended violence orders and that he feared for Gilmore’s wellbeing.

The magistrate denied bail, noting the distance Winter had travelled to allegedly bump into Gilmore and that it “indicated fixated behaviour and some degree in planning.”

In 2012, a homeless schizophrenic junkie, Julius Fox, was sentenced to four years in jail after bashing Gilmore with an iron bar, breaking her wrist, outside her Tweed Heads apartment in 2010.

He was released in 2014.

In March, 2020, a woman was charged with the unlawful stalking of three-time world champ Mick Fanning and breaking into his house with intent and two counts of stealing.

Sarah Foote, a thirty-eight-year-old from Ballina, same age as Mick, was accused of following Fanning between January 29 and February 4, the break-in of Mick’s pretty beachfront joint in Tugun allegedly happening on Feb 2.

Foote was accused of sending “rambling hand-written letters with accusations of pedophilia, declarations of love for Fanning and thoughts of wanting to kill him.”

The woman, who looks nice enough if you like mysterious blondes, was bailed on the condition she stayed hell out of Queensland except for court appearances.

 


French surfer Justine Dupont keeps pressure on extraordinarily tone-deaf World Surf League: “I want to remain consistent in my approach and I therefore decline their invitation to participate in French Rendezvous of Surfing next week.”

Mr. Logan... Mr. Logan...

The World Surf League, based in Santa Monica, California, released its much anticipated winner of the women’s cbdMD XXL Biggest Wave Award last week and was immediately engulfed in an inferno of criticism.

The award went to Brazil’s Maya Gabeira and released a breathless report detailing how the wave also set a new Guinness World Record for “Largest wave surfed (unlimited) – female.”

France’s Justine Dupont immediately pointed out a cornucopia of dubiousness, writing via Instagram:

The @wsl announced that the record for the biggest wave surfed would be awarded to a surfer who does not finish her wave. I decided to smile about it even though I am deeply hurt to be subjected to a decision that I believe is totally unfairI’m especially disappointed and ashamed of this league which claims to represent our sport.

They are based on a report from scientists who use the word “approximate” in front of each of their statements. It is stipulated among other things that:

-The size of the 2 surfer girls is approximately identical: FALSE (at + or – 10cm)
-Our two waves are approximately the same distance from the photographer: FALSE these are 2 different peaks on the biggest beach break in the world.
-They define the bottom of the wave of my competitor about 2m below where the lip of the wave breaks.
-Images of the other surfer were used after the publication deadline.

Most importantly, as noted in the opening salvo, Ms. Gabeira did not complete her ride.

Today, Ms. Dupont doubled down on her frustration by refusing entry into the upcoming French Rendezvous of Surfing, writing again via Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/p/CFFf9ceHbcx/

I have always loved surfing in Anglet. Having still not received a response from @wsl to my questions regarding the many aberrations in their report, I want to remain consistent in my approach and I therefore decline their invitation to participate in #frenchrendezvousofsurfing next week.

I wish a nice day of surfing to all the competitors. In the meantime, I resource myself for a few days in France before tackling winter full. Thank you again to all of you for the support these last days you have been amazing. It’s heartwarming.

Very polite but I’m also confounded by the fact that the World Surf League has not reached out to her. Let’s be honest, there is very little happening, currently, in professional surfing. Ms. Dupont’s confusion about the award is legitimate and deserves, at the very least, personal explanation.

Like, what else is WSL CEO Erik Logan doing aside from getting his side all waxy in Manhattan Beach?

Certainly not fielding calls to sponsor upcoming Bumbles at the Ranch.

And so, Mr. Logan, on behalf of Justine Dupont and French speakers everywhere, I look at you and say:

We welcome change and openness; for we believe that freedom and security go together, that the advance of human liberty can only strengthen the cause of world peace. There is one sign the World Surf League can make that would be unmistakable, that would advance dramatically the cause of freedom and peace. CEO Erik Logan, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for the World Surf League and surf culture in general, if you seek liberalization, come here to this comment section. Mr. Logan, open this gate. Mr. Logan…Mr. Logan, write Justine Dupont an explanatory letter regarding the cbdMD XXL Biggest Wave Award.

Do you think it will work?

More as the story develops.


Inspirational fisherman befriends 10-foot Great White Shark off Cape Cod: “It’s a very rare occurrence that it happens!”

Have we got them all wrong?

Students/victims of the World Surf League’s preferred medium Tik Tok have most certainly been made aware of the song that has turned into a meme of a young girl singing about her friends. “Friends, friends, friends I definitely have friends, friends, friends, friendly friends time to meet my friends.”

In all honesty, her “friends” are not what would be considered as “worthwhile” but therein lies the great travesty for who amongst us is so worthy as to disparage others?

No none of us, is the answer, we are all rotten nerds. Vicious and mean. And so it is with great pride and pleasure that I bring you the story of Eric Morea, a Cape Cod fisherman, who made besties with a 10-foot Great White Shark.

The beasts usually get a very bad rap but Mr. Morea brought with him neither fear nor prejudice as he was out two days in a row, galavanting with his new buddy.

The customers on his boat were very excited.

“Most of the time, people say they want to come to Cape Cod … to see the sharks, and I say it’s a very rare occurrence that it happens.” he told the local Fox News affiliate “And it just happened to be that this was the right day for it.”

The Great White put on a docile show for its new friends, presenting its belly to be rubbed etc., for two days in a row, spending much time floating and being a silly goose which very much begs the question: Are Great Whites merely snuggly beasts that don’t know their own strength?

Like Lenny in Of Mice and Men?

Has Kelly Slater read Of Mice and Men?

Much to ponder.


Tyler Wright's 439 second knee and raised fist in support of BLM was the most noteworthy thing by a country mile on the opening day of the Tweed Coast Pro held in head-high, join-the-dots gurgle. It marks a complete transformation of the Sport from reactionary backwater to woke darling. | Photo: WSL

Longtom on the WSL’s woke pivot: “I want to honour the intent but the corporate embrace of woke culture makes me deeply queasy; a commodified product to sell in the guise of moral purity”

Would they back an environmental protest against bulldozing floodprone wetlands to develop canal estates and power-hungry wavepools? What about Brother if he wanted to wear a MAGA hat in a heat?

Surfing has had a reactionary edge to it, at least in popular culture, since Day Dot.

The Hawaiians were hierarchical to the core, Kilgore’s napalm-loving Colonel loved dealing death cards before go-outs, Puberty Blues was full of blokes munching on chiko rolls and telling shielas they should stay on the sand.

Matt Branson used to bash queers before realising he was gay himself, never coming out as a pro.

Point Break’s Bodhi was a quasi-fascist spiritual criminal. The one truly progressive act surfing, especially pro surfing can claim is the boycott of South African apartheid by Tom’s Carroll, Curren and Cheyne Horan in ’85.

Which makes Tyler Wright’s 439 second knee and raised fist in support of BLM the most noteworthy thing by a country mile on the opening day of the Tweed Coast Pro held in head-high, join-the-dots gurgle.

It marks a complete transformation of the Sport from reactionary backwater to woke darling.

Worth counting the ways, I think, for the historical record.

Pro surfing has long been considered famously homophobic. Gay surfers, especially women, dare not come out without risking sponno dollars. Long-board World Champion Cori Schumacher claimed her achievements were silenced and erased due to her being openly gay.

Keala Kennely claimed sponsors deserted her after she came out.

The reaction to Tyler Wright coming out last year?

Silence.

Absolutely nothing.

Not a word written, no nasty internet comments, no censure whatsoever – not that anything overt would happen – from sponsors. Total support from WSL.

This, of course, after raising the pay of women pros to equal the men, despite a smaller field with less heats to surf.

In one fell swoop, pro surfing went from the back to the front of the pack, if you dig equality.

The BLM embrace seems a slightly more dangerous pose, with much greater chance for blowback. Not so much in Australia, where the push for indigenous recognition is not tainted by the screaming images of cities burning nor the Marxist undertones of the American movement.

How far the WSL’s support for other political statements which make claims on the humanity of the athlete, as Wright suggested, is up for debate. Would they back an environmental protest against bulldozing floodprone wetlands to develop canal estates and power hungry wavepools? What about Brother if he wanted to wear a MAGA hat in a heat?

But in America, the home of the WSL, the pushback against BLM, is real.

Andrew Stark was all over the media this morning, giving interviews where he expressed the WSL’s “total support” for Wright’s gesture which Bede Durbidge claimed was “totally remarkable”.

How far the WSL’s support for other political statements which make claims on the humanity of the athlete, as Wright suggested, is up for debate. Would they back an environmental protest against bulldozing floodprone wetlands to develop canal estates and power-hungry wavepools? What about Brother if he wanted to wear a MAGA hat in a heat?

As for the statement itself, I guess we have to take it at face value. No doubt the blackfella in Australia has been subject to terrible program of racism.

But it’s not racism that keeps black kids out of the water.

Racism is not the sin to blame when it comes time to ask why the WSL has barely featured indigenous surfers. Black kids barely surf because they can’t afford to live near the ocean. Rich whities have bought up all the coastal real estate and flipped houses and turned them into Air BnB’s.

Would Tyler look at her own real estate portfolio?

Would WSL consider letting black kids use wavepools for free, like basketball courts and truly “democratize” surfing, as Kelly promised.

If they intend to honour Tyler’s wish that “surfing is for all” then you can’t have a sich where only rich white kids can get near it.

How’s it sitting with you?

I want to honour the intent but the corporate embrace of woke culture makes me deeply queasy. Another commodified product for the corpos to package up and sell in the guise of moral purity.

It feels hard not to gag on the hypocrisy.

It obviously did Tyler no harm, not only did she suck all the oxygen out of the WSL’s return to competition, she won the event as well.

Who’ll be the first male surfer to take the knee?

I’d love to say Kelly.