It’s a girl: Yet another gender reveal party goes horribly sideways as father shoots himself in the crotch, potentially derailing hopes and dreams of birthing next Kelly Slater-esque surf prodigy!

"Well this is off to a great start."

Gender reveal parties have, potentially, done more to damage professional surfing’s future than global warming, Great White shark attacks and “orca-strated” Killer Whale terrorism combined.

You certainly read about the recent celebration that threatened to burn the surf industry’s historical home of California to the ground.

Now we have an east coast father who nearly and/or did castrate himself while attempting to reveal the sex of his soon to be born child.

Tom Cressotti of Massachusetts and his pregnant wife were very excited to share their good news but, as these things go, Tom pointed his rocket the wrong way and, according to footage, nearly and/or did destroy his chances of fathering the next Kelly Slater-esque surf superstar.

Though the surf industry is experiencing what many call a nadir, all it takes is one transcending hero to bring it all back to fortune. Kelly Slater is currently 48-years-old and not getting any younger, though also from an east coast city featuring very bad waves. The next Kelly Slater is likely to be born on the east coast too which makes Cressotti’s choice to castrate himself all the more frustrating.

At least he did not burn down Massachusetts, telling a local paper, “That would be very hard from Massachusetts.”

Does Massachusetts not burn?

Is it immune to these troubles?

More as the story develops.


Help legendary Oregon surf photographer Mark McInnis rebuild after losing everything in devastating Holiday Farm Fire!

"His home, his digital photographs, film negatives, family heirlooms, clothes and everything he owned is gone."

The recent fires in Washington and Oregon have devastated so many. As an Oregonian, I watched in horror as complete towns became engulfed in flames, entire regions laid bare. The Pacific Northwest’s surf community is small and tight and I discovered, yesterday, that the legendary PNW surf photographer Mark McInnis had lost everything as his house burned to the ground.

Chris Burkard, who recently appeared on Dirty Water and is very near a saint, set up a Go Fund Me for his good friend, writing:

Friend & photographer, Mark McInnis, has brought joy to many with his images of distant waves and remote landscapes. He recently moved back to his home in the PNW only to have the recent Holiday Farm Fire completely decimate the community of Blue River, Oregon. And with it, his home. The salt in the wound is that this tragedy occurred just prior to finishing a year long project of backing up his entire collection of images offsite. He was left with nothing. His home, his digital photographs, film negatives, family heirlooms, clothes and everything he owned is gone. We are talking well over six figures of loss. The harsh reality that Mark’s cameras and entire library of images and backups were all set ablaze is a learning lesson for any creative person, especially when your livelihood depends on it. My hope is that we can give back to Mark to get him back on his feet and hopefully repay the joy that he has given all of us through his photographs. And, for the record, Mark refused to set this up himself. It took some harsh words from a friend for Mark to realize that we are grieving as he grieves and that the way we heal, is to help. So while he may not ask for help, but he genuinely needs it. Furthermore, in true McInnis fashion, Mark is insisting on donating 10% of all donations over the $30,000 mark to The Upper McKenzie and Volunteer Firefighter Relief Fund. Thank you in advance for supporting my great friend, a valued member of the photography community and an inspiration to us all.

If you have every enjoyed McInnis’s beautiful work, or care to help, please click here.

And thank you.


Surf-adjacent dentist who removed patient’s tooth while riding hoverboard gets 12-year prison sentence: “You darn near killed some people!”

Very tough.

Oh to feel that surf life, to need that surf life, but to be trapped somewhere difficult to live that surf life. Such was the predicament of dentist Seth Lookhart who had set up his practice in Alaska, a state that has surf (listen to photographer Chris Burkard describe) but difficult to easily access surf.

What did Dentist Lookhart do to itch that scratch on a regular basis?

Extract teeth while cruising a hoverboard, of course, also extract teeth without patient permission etc. Giving him the sensation of riding the foamball over a treacherous stretch of reef. Many consequences. High stakes etc.

We surfers, we understand this feeling, this need, but the Anchorage Superior Court does not and handed dentist Lookhart a 12-year sentence for reckless endangerment and fraud. The judge declaring, “In reviewing all this over and over again, I have this visceral response — you darn near killed some people….” as Dentist Lookhart was whisked away.

If you were locked behind bars in Alaska for 12-years what sort of hobby would you take up?

I might begin carving miniature totem poles from soap.

Or maybe become an expert in training street tough Killer Whales in order to unleash them on my enemies upon release.

Win-win, I suppose.


Cabarita foilboarder describes hit by White yesterday. | Photo: @linda_sinclair62

Foil-boarder hit by Great White described as a “tank” at site of Tweed Heads Pro “Then it came back and I was out without the board”; Broken Head cleared after surfer bumped by twelve-foot Great White; fisherman says Gold Coast is infested with sharks, “It’s out of control!”

"There is definitely no shortage of Great Whites."

A foil-boarder has been hit by a shark at the site of last weekend’s Tweed Heads Pro, the animal leaving behind a tooth in the foil’s resilient carbon fibres. 

If you remember, competitors in the event which was held at a B-grade point called Cabarita half-an-hour south of the Superbank where a surfer was killed by a Great White less than two weeks ago, were cleared when an eight-foot shark swam through the contest area.

Photos and video of the foil-boarder flew around Instagram, the man, a local surfer Christian, surrounded by onlookers as he describes the event. 

https://www.instagram.com/p/CFMGVxvDLE2/

Dorsal Watch reported a fifteen-to-eighteen-foot Great White, as big as they get, “a tank”, swimming through the lineup around the same time.

At Broken Head, same day, a twelve-foot Great White swam through a crowd of fifty surfers, bumping one surfer on its way through. 

At Kirra, a few hundred metres down the beach from the Superbank, surfers were cleared when a shark swam though the lineup. 

Meanwhile, a Gold Coast fisherman says shark numbers are “out of control” and that there is “definitely no shortage of Great Whites. We see them all the time and we never saw them before.

Joel Merchant, thirty-nine and from Tweed Heads, says he’s been fishing for twenty years off the same stretch of coast where there’s been two fatal hits on surfers in the past two months, Rob Pedretti at Kingscliff, Nick Slater at the Superbank. 

“People say they are hungry due to overfishing but you never seen a skinny one, they are all healthy and there is plenty of food for them, they have been left alone and bred up so well and thriving. The chance of interacting with a shark is more and more because there is so many of them.” 

Commercial fisherman, Adrian Cottee, who is based in Yamba two-and-a-half hours south of the Gold Coast, said he he had to “leave the Tweed area two years ago because the sharks were eating the net and everything would fall out. There’s certainly big numbers of sharks out there.” 

Buy your crank-shaft tourniquets here. 


Australian surf family’s emerging “too sexy for Instagram” website dynasty; Holly Daze Coffey joins sister Ellie in subscriber-only site, offering “Topless doggy-style at the beach. Raunchiest photo yet!” and more.

Uncensored content, private chat, VIP access.

One week ago, it was reported, here, that Ellie-Jean Coffey, a former world #20 (WQS), had launched a subscriber-only site one might best describe as appealing to men who want to jerk their hips while their bottom lip trembles uncontrollably. 

For a ten-dollar-per-month subscription, viewers can enjoy “uncensored content” including “Nipple exposed… completely topless with my legs spread open”, “Wish you were holding my hand while I sip this wine giving you an upskirt view with no panties”, “More upskirt action… no panties and my plump (peach emoji) fully exposed”, “Grabbing my boob with legs spread in lingerie.”

Now, and as alerted by EJ, younger sister Holly-Daze has launched her own site, promising “Tits popping out”, “exxxxtra sexy wet peach”, “stretching out on the beach at all fours” and so on. 

 

Holly-Daze’s menu of uncensored content.

Private chat, which may or may not be provocative, is available, also. 

Holly’s sister, Ellie, you may remember, caused much tabloid sorrow last year when she was the subject of a “lewd ambush” by the author of the best-selling biography of prime minister Bob Hawke. 

A terrible episode.

Enjoy the original interview that gave tabloid readers the vapours here.

Everyone mining tits for clicks, as they say.

Subscribe to Holly-Daze Coffey here.