"Well this is off to a great start."
Gender reveal parties have, potentially, done more to damage professional surfing’s future than global warming, Great White shark attacks and “orca-strated” Killer Whale terrorism combined.
You certainly read about the recent celebration that threatened to burn the surf industry’s historical home of California to the ground.
Now we have an east coast father who nearly and/or did castrate himself while attempting to reveal the sex of his soon to be born child.
Tom Cressotti of Massachusetts and his pregnant wife were very excited to share their good news but, as these things go, Tom pointed his rocket the wrong way and, according to footage, nearly and/or did destroy his chances of fathering the next Kelly Slater-esque surf superstar.
Though the surf industry is experiencing what many call a nadir, all it takes is one transcending hero to bring it all back to fortune. Kelly Slater is currently 48-years-old and not getting any younger, though also from an east coast city featuring very bad waves. The next Kelly Slater is likely to be born on the east coast too which makes Cressotti’s choice to castrate himself all the more frustrating.
At least he did not burn down Massachusetts, telling a local paper, “That would be very hard from Massachusetts.”
Does Massachusetts not burn?
Is it immune to these troubles?
More as the story develops.