Concerning.

Some places are luckier than others, I suppose, when it comes to experiencing very rare medical crises. They are entirely commonplace in New York City, say, or Los Angeles with much personnel and infrastructure at the ready. Emergency rooms, equipment, etc.

Not so common, apparently, in the Florida Keys which witnessed a severe and unprovoked shark attack, yesterday, by a likely 10-foot Bull.

According to reports, Andrew Charles Eddy, 30, from Atlanta was in the Keys vacationing with family and decided to jump into the crystalline water for a delightful snorkel.

Snorkeling, as you should know, is one of the most sublime activities on earth and generally under-appreciated but what could be better than floating on the surface, passively watching a most colorful tableau beneath?

Darling, it’s better down where it’s wetter, take it from me… except in the case of Eddy who was bitten on the shoulder before he even had a few seconds to enjoy.

The local sheriff’s office had received earlier information that there was a Bull Shark in the area but no one was fishing or chumming the waters where the attack occurred.

Eddy’s relatives and onlookers sprung into action and gave him first aid until he was airlifted to a Miami hospital.

“This was a very rare medical crisis for the Florida Keys, but everyone came together – including those witnesses on the boat to 911 communicators to all our emergency responders – in order to ensure this victim received life-saving care,” Sheriff Rick Ramsay said in a statement.

This whole incident is troubling as it appears as if the Bull was intent on causing pain and suffering while a human partook in the sublime drift. If Eddy had been surfing provocatively it would have at least made sense but snorkeling?

Idyllic.

The Sport of Poets.

Something Henry David Thoreau would have done had snorkels been invented.

Concerning.

Florida teachers not happy.

It is difficult enough to be a surfer-parent, balancing the needs of young children with favorable swell reports, planned boat trips to the Ments with “da crew” etc. and now, with Covid keeping those young children learning at home, sucking up precious bandwidth typically dedicated to gazing at sunbathers on the beach etc. it is downright impossible.

Well, Floridian surfer-parents have discovered a solution.

Smoking “joints as big as cigars” while their young children finish online math tutorials and also drinking heavily.

Floridian teachers, obvious downers, are not happy.

Edith Pride, who teaches at Boca Raton Elementary School told Fox News:

“We need to make sure parents don’t get on the computer to help their children with joints in their hand and cigarettes in their mouth. Sometimes the joints are as big as cigars. You can’t do that! We’ve seen the parents in towels, we’ve seen them in underclothes, we’ve seen them in bras. It’s just inappropriate. The children can see it in the squares.”

Pride brought up her concerns at the school board meeting and other teachers chimed in with stories of 11 am beer drinking, partying and whatnot.

Surfer-parents have never been known for decorum but what are they to do? What solutions can there be?

Elysa Grossman, a Johns Hopkins University professor, and Susan Sonnenschein, at University Maryland Baltimore Campus, conducted a poll earlier this year and discovered that stressed parents are drinking more during the coronavirus pandemic, to say nothing of stressed surfer-parents.

“We found that parents who are stressed by having to help their children with distance learning during the COVID-19 pandemic drink seven more drinks per month than parents who do not report feeling stressed by distance learning. These stressed parents are also twice as likely to report binge drinking at least once over the prior month than parents who are not stressed, according to our results.”

Again, obvious but what’s the fix?

Where’s the solve?

Should local surfer-parents get together and form a collective where the children learn in one room while adults smoke, drink, wander nude etc. in an adjacent room with no connecting door?

What would The Dude do?

Much to ponder.