"I don't care if you were paddling first! The surfer nearest the peak has the right of way!"
"I don't care if you were paddling first! The surfer nearest the peak has the right of way!"

Listen: Is surf localism simply a more historically rooted form of modern Karenism?

A real bummer, if true.

Trouble rocked me last night to the very core. A thought, a specter, that materialized whilst talking to David Lee Scales over the internet.

We were recording our weekly chat, for your pleasure. Usually we do it in person, of course, but David Lee had become stuck  in Houston the day before and I had a important things to do aboard a vintage Chris Craft and so we settled for an evening Zoom.

He imagined, not incorrectly, that it would be cocktail hour and had mixed himself a Boulevardier. I instinctively knew that I needed to be sharp, some epiphany to be had, so poured myself a Topo Chico with a twist of grapefruit.

Little did I know how painful it would be.

Like a sharply cut bob.

Because there we were conversing moving from topic to topic, VAL this, core that, until rounding the bend to Malibu Karen and her less than ideal week.

“Wait,” I says.

“Is surf localism simply a more historically rooted form of modern Karenism?”

Uh oh.

It is, isn’t it.

The craving of order and the compunction to confront offenders of order and bring them to heel by any means necessary.

How does that make you feel?

Would you like to speak to BeachGrit‘s manager Derek Rielly?

Listen here.

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CHINATALIBAN-DUMP
CHINATALIBAN-DUMP
5 years ago

When there is ten miles of beach, mostly empty, and someone paddles right up next to you it is hard not to say something, at the very least!!!

Brutus
Brutus
5 years ago

Wow is that a tow board for a oin legged surfer?

Gourmet Kook
Gourmet Kook
5 years ago

Neolocals Rule

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago
FL Skunk Ape
FL Skunk Ape
5 years ago

No – not even close. In fact the two could not be further apart.

samwaters
samwaters
5 years ago

I have no idea who Karen is, but Daniel Duane, (a full on Val), was so tramatized by the words “Kooks go Home” on the steps to the beach, he still talks about it 20 years later, and it seems to be related to some of his issues today.
So sometimes it might not take much to make a difference.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
5 years ago

Have a listen to this! Jocko reads Patton’s D-Day speech to the troops pre-launch.

Oowee.

https://www.youtube.com/wat…

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
5 years ago

The Americans have now left the building

commenter
commenter
5 years ago

Someone actually sent that as a communique before D Day? Risky business if it had been intercepted.

Years ago I was watching The Longest Day and wondered why those bunkers and fortifications weren’t being bombed and strafed up to the last minute, to keep those German heads and guns down.

I called L_____ B____ who worked for J____ M___ who knows his military history.

I asked L_____ to ask J_____ about that and he said, “That’s funny, S_____ S_____ called the other day asking the same question for some movie he is working on.”

And by the way, if you wonder why America spends 10X more on it’s military than any other country, go watch the first 30 minutes of Saving Private Ryan.

That’s why.

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
5 years ago
Reply to  commenter

The bombers came over in heavy fog/storms missed the targets. Bombed the shit out of the water, and just inland.

commenter
commenter
5 years ago

There’s a guy named Jimmie who comes to Malibu Kitchen every Sunday who got shrapnel in his knee on D Day. He was a 20mm gunner on a Higgins Boat.

He said that day was LOUD.

What Saving Private Ryan didn’t show was destroyers and battleships as close to shore as possible, leveling their guns at those bunkers and blasting them.

That is LOUD.

Otto
Otto
5 years ago

“…and I had a important things to do aboard a vintage Chris Craft.”
Did you play motorboat? You did! You motorboat’n son of a bitch you. You ol’ sailor you.

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
5 years ago

Remember those who swam in and removed obstacles!

JOB's second chin
JOB's second chin
5 years ago

DLS vs Hemsworth surf-off ? Make it so! My money is on the guy charging cloudbreak

https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
5 years ago
ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
5 years ago

Newsom slapper. Sell millions!

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
5 years ago

I tend to think the younger crowd don’t know what actual “localism” is, or these middle age late comers trying to virtue signal because they are scared as hell of getting proper beatings!!

History of “localism”: There was no mouth involved in “true localism”. If you haven’t seen a guy carried out on a C-spine board from PB point after getting his head/face smashed by a boulder you have NOT witnessed “localism”. If you haven’t seen 10 guys just beat the life out of a loud Australian at ehukai, then you have NOT witnessed “localism”. I could go on, and on. What you little douchebags of today witness is propaganda. These people are just trying to convince you they are tough. If you haven’t done anything to warrant standing in front of a judge,…..you’re a karen!

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
5 years ago
Reply to  ValiantScorn

I’ve stood in front of judge! Thank you for freeing me from Karenhood!

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
5 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

I had a few laps during the 90’s. It always got squashed by lawyers/money. But around 2000, the felonies started flying in SD County. You can’t even tell me there’s “localism” today. smh It just sounds so plastic, and empty.

SectionSB
SectionSB
5 years ago
Reply to  ValiantScorn

I came from the east coast to SD, ended up in PL when I was 17, 1971……Learned pretty quick about where to go and not to go. Still, man I was so STOKED to be warm and surf as a kid. I think people left me alone…I “sponsored” some of the PB/LJ lurker guys for awhile, brought them up to SB, weird times tho.

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
5 years ago
Reply to  SectionSB

The cliffs in 1971. Love to have been there.

SectionSB
SectionSB
5 years ago
Reply to  ValiantScorn

yeah, me too!! I was too stoked to just surf good waves, that I couldnt see the changes happening. I remember seeing the fish guys surf tho, at spots I was warned by other local guys to stay away from Most everyone else still on logs or gun/pintail type boards, and the fish guys just ripping miles long cutbacks and slingshotting around into the barrel. Was a good intro to california for me, and the beachbreaks of 365 days a year surf. Probably why locals took pity on me…haha like a mosquito you cant get rid off. People got kinda crazy those years tho…..drugs, money, violence.
I went up north to SB to school, and it seemed like a nice place. Least I could still surf somewhere.
I checked SB for “suitability”on the day of the Monster Swell from NZ (73 or 74?….haha..I just thought it was another day of waves. Bigger than usual for sure!!! Solid 8-10 SW…SB looked pretty good!! Jeez that was a big one. SD Cliffs were unfunctional. Sheet glass tho.

CHINATALIBAN-DUMP
CHINATALIBAN-DUMP
5 years ago
Reply to  ValiantScorn

I paid my brother’s restitution for a jaw break!!!

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
5 years ago

You’re a fine sibling!

Brutus
Brutus
5 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Fuck I have lost count!

Stick man
Stick man
5 years ago
Reply to  ValiantScorn

Karenism in full effect!

Snowbored
Snowbored
5 years ago

Not many Karen’s will false crack you, smash your finbox, or stuff you on a set wave. But there are a few vague similarities when it comes to the grumpy old and loud barkers.


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