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Candid: Sometimes, in my less-than-charitable moments, I wish that American Pickle’s Seth Rogen had become heir to Miki Dora’s Malibu throne instead of Hollywood funnyman Jonah Hill.

The heart wants what the heart wants.

Oh here I go wading into another quagmire. Another un-winnable war. Trying, and failing, to enjoy the journey of learning to be funny. But, now that you’re here, wouldn’t it be a lot cooler if Seth Rogen had become heir to Miki Dora’s Malibu throne instead of Jonah Hill?

I know, I know, the grass is always greener etc. but the heart wants what the heart wants and this heart has really been yearning, lately, for Seth Rogen.

He, like Hill, is funny and makes many funny movies often starring Hill. He, like Hill, is non-traditionally extremely handsome. But he, unlike Hill, seems… I don’t know. Less sensitive? More… humorously cantankerous?

Maybe humorous cantankerousness is entirely out of vogue and should be shunned and shamed but the heart still wants what the heart wants.

Hill, in any case, chose us. We didn’t choose Hill but ain’t that just the surfer way. Accepting whatever dribs or drabs popular culture spoons out and being extraordinarily thankful, falling over selves trying to become adjacent.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CTXxSuZHbtr/

It’s the sort of thing, in fact, that leads to The Ultimate Surfer.

So I vote Rogen for the throne. He looks like this surfing, by the way.

Who would you like to see owning Malibu’s First Point?

Think big.

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32 Comments
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munnstrosity

not gonna happen. rogant cant act period. chas clearly is an even bigger kook on land

GBP

Interesting engagement strategy, the neg. Look if he actually did become a commentor here he would get eaten alive, like that seppo Cote

Jimmy the Saint

James Franco is the type of guy that Malibu deserves

Adam

Hunter Biden, his surf Coach Strider, his drug dealer, his hookers and his Chinese handlers.
Are
Make Malibu Great Again

JohnsKnees

Both learning to surf too!

JohnsKnees

How many badges does one earn if they get a Jonah Hill esque “body love” tattoo? Asking for a friend.

NEGATRON

I can personally guarantee you get a badge named after you.

Phat-wan kerr

comment edited cos CB beat me to it.

turts

I’ve got a better idea, get Seth as the head commentator for the WSL. Weed companies will be falling over themselves to get in on the action via major sponsorship.
Rogen is the antidote to Logan

Beef & Beer

Rogen and his old writing mate Evan Goldberg ‘jointly’ own a weed company already so maybe they could sponsor the whole wOsl tour…

Beef & Beer

Seth Rogen has my vote for never having ‘stunt weed’ in his movie scenes.

P.S.
I wonder if he’s related to Joe Rogan ?

Otto

It’s go time with Afrikanized Trashcan Bees and we got badgers acting like they care.

Return of the Samsung Board

Poking the bear Chas

Dumb Florida Redneck

Rob snieder is…. A carrot!

Dumb Florida Redneck

Leonardo DiCaprio in full Django outfit, racing down the line on a 14 ft dead kooks 18 with true Ames fins.

channelbottom

To be fair, he’s come a long way physically from the lardy schmuck he used to be.
Next stop: Jonah Hill: Action Hero.

NUG

Jonah did basically play Seth in Superbad.

Here’s the proof… https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

channelbottom

The real rusty sheriffs badges, were the friends we made along the way.

Phat-wan kerr

fuck. when will I learn to read the comments before recklessly commenting.

astro

Thassright !
We want stinking t-shirts !

https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Cannabis-Creativity

I thought Chas identied with Jonah bc they both have metrosexual tendencies, which Rogen lacks, save for his clay fetish. Rogen can poke fun at himself and handle being attacked. He also seems like a genuinely nice guy whereas Joyful Jonah has a mean streak underneath his spread the joy shtick.

Dogsnuts

Will Monute Bol earn me some badges?

Chas Smith

Yes lots.

Dogsnuts

Imagine the cunt paddling. And him slapping cunts from five feet away. He’d be a menace.

Stick man

Any word on Kalani’s day 4 ?

Hot stuff

He’s really gone downhill after injesting some Dirty Water
Not feeling too good either

Snowbored

Injected some bleach. All good.

Ricky Spanish

Wait, I thought Seth and Jonah were the same person

Wilbur

Fat, not funny assholes. I think you’re right.

munnstrosity

at least kiss ass to a funny jew like ben stiler. every scene in 40 year old virgen with rogan is fast forward. why do they have jobs in hollywood? mel gibson can tell ya

Occ Topus

What is it with Chas and these B-list celebrity VAL kooks? Shouldn’t a “King of Malibu” be able to surf well? To make Alan Sarlo pull back from taking-off? FFS… am I missing something?

ValiantScorn

“I’m gonna save you man”
Chas, rub your wrist against his belt buckle.


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