Momentum Generation star Kalani Robb worries fans as Covid-19 diary goes dark before coming back in waning moments of day three: “I wish I was like Ferris Bueller faking this right now.”

"My head is so foggy."

Momentum Generation star, Hawaiian surfer, Kalani Robb revealed late last week that he had contracted the Coronavirus and was going to fight it off, in part, by using the popular horse dewormer ivermectin. His inspiration? Famous podcaster Joe Rogan who, himself, used ivermectin as part of a broader cocktail, writing that by day three he felt “pretty fucking good.”

Robb, ever brave, decided to meticulously document his journey. Days one and two featured a discussion of the aforementioned ivermectin, friends dropping healthy foods off at his house, him not being able taste them, headaches, body aches fevers etc. but then, yesterday, worry set in as the diary went dark for five, then ten, then twenty hours.

Fans searching everywhere for updates.

Anywhere.

Finally, in the waning moments of day three, Robb came back and in a to-camera piece described his state.

Day…. (long pause). Day three. My head is so foggy. Been on the couch all day the headache the fever and the bodyaches. Day three bodyaches gone. Fever breaking 100 and going under 99. But my headache is gnarly. Sat on the couch all day watching movies. I wish I was like Ferris Bueller faking this right now. Day three.

Relief washing over like a gentle wave off Streedagh Strand.

I became curious about this ivermectin so went searching for some actual data (read here) then talked to one health expert who informed me, “The data does show some promise that ivermectin works when taken prophylactically. The program that Rogan was on, though, with the monoclonal antibodies specifically… that is very expensive unless you have an underlying comorbidity. Look, don’t get vaccinated and treat yourself all day long. Just don’t go to the fucking hospital if it doesn’t work.”

The expert neither is, nor was, a professional surfer so take with a large grain of salt.

More as the story develops.

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Katie and Tim, March, 2021, baby due Jan 22.

Pregnant wife of Australian dead in horror Great White attack, the sixth surfer to be killed by a Great White in one year, releases tribute to husband, “My heart aches for our baby who will never get to meet you.

"The last thing Tim said to me before he walked out that door for the last time was 'I love you two'. He kissed me and my tummy goodbye."

The surfer killed by a Great White shark on the NSW mid north coast yesterday, Father’s Day, has been revealed as Timothy Thompson, a newly married thirty one year old who was about to become a father for the first time.

Thompson was surfing Shelly Beach, at the northern end of Coffs Harbour’s Look At Me Headland there, when was hit by the White.

A witness described the scene,

“I was out in the surf and I heard screaming, I paddled further out to the water and saw a man without an arm, there was lots of blood. He was shouting ‘help me’ — people were trying to get him out to the shore.”

Surfers helped Thompson to the beach, used a makeshift tourniquet and performed CPR while they waited for a critical care doctor to be winched to the beach from a helicopter.

Head paramedic attending the scene Chris Wilson wept as he spoke to media.

“A male in his approximate late 20s, sustained significant injuries to his upper body, which has resulted in major bl — I can’t even say that… “

Thompson’s wife, Kate, wrote on Facebook.

Timothy Thompson, My Husband, My Best Friend and Baby Daddy has been taken from this world. To say I’m heart broken would be an understatement. I’m just waiting for someone to tell me this isn’t real.

All I know right now is that I have no choice but to keep going, because I have a little piece of you growing in me. My heart aches for our baby who will never get to meet you. You would of been the best daddy. I promise to tell our baby everyday how amazing their daddy was, how you never spoke a bad word about anybody, how kind and caring you were and most importantly how much you loved that little bubba growing in my tummy. The last thing Tim said to me before he walked out that door for the last time was “I love you two”. He kissed me and my tummy goodbye.

Never in a million years did I think I would be doing life without you. Life can be tragic and unfair, but I take some comfort knowing how loved Tim was by everyone, the time we did have together was amazing and full of adventures. I am incredibly blessed that we met and our love story gets to live on with our baby 💕
To the people who have reached out or even just had us in their thoughts I can’t thank you enough for your support.

To the crew of surfers down at the beach, thank you for being brave, getting him to shore and for doing whatever you could to try and save him. Thank you to the first responders, paramedics and lastly the westpac rescue helicopter thank you. You were Tim’s favourite charity. He would always donate whatever cash we had and say “I hope I never need you”. Well, turns out he did need you and you were there. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to express how grateful I am that you all tried your best for him.

I hope Timmy is up there doing what he loves surfing the best barrels and watching over us.

May he Rest In Peace.

Cuddle your loved ones that little bit tighter and tell them you love them. It’s what Timmy would tell us to do in times like these.

Thompson was the sixth surfer to be killed by a Great White shark since June, 2020, a little over a year.

Nothing to worry about, nothing to see, more likely to be killed by a bee, lightning, car etc.

Click here to throw a few shekels at the funeral costs and to help Katie with the baby. 

RIP:

Timothy Thompson, 31, hit by Great White, killed, September 5, 2021, 

Mark Sanguinetti, 59, hit by Great White, killed, Tuncurry, NSW, May 18, 2021.

Andrew Sharpe, 52, hit by a Great White at Kelpies in Esperance, October 9, 2020. Never seen again.

Nick Slater, 46, hit, killed by a Great White at the Supabank, Queensland, September 8, 2020.

Mani Hart-Deville, 15, hit, killed by a Great White, Wooli Beach, NSW, July 11, 2020.

Rob Pedretti, 60, hit, killed, by a Great white, Salt Beach, NSW, June 7, 2020.

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Ambulance bogged in sand, makeshift ICU unit on beach, weeping paramedic; the grim reality of Australia’s Great White crisis, “‘(The surfer) was shouting ‘help me’ — people were trying to get him out to the shore!”

Another brother lost… 

You lost count of the surfers killed by Great Whites in Australia in the past, say, year or so?

And these are attacks on surfers, not swimmers, divers or a lil kid on a Tassie fishing boat.

(And it don’t include attacks that didn’t kill the surfer, like Joe Hoffman, the twenty-five-year-old shredder whose arm was destroyed by a Great White at Crescent Head in July.)

Let’s count ‘em.

Yesterday, unnamed surfer, in this twenties, dead on the beach after a Great White hit at Shelly Beach, Coffs Harbour, a little south of Byron Bay.

Mark Sanguinetti, 59, hit by Great White, killed, Tuncurry, NSW, May 18, 2021.

Andrew Sharpe, 52, hit by a Great White at Kelpies in Esperance, October 9, 2020. Never seen again.

Nick Slater, 46, hit, killed by a Great White at the Supabank, Queensland, September 8, 2020.

Mani Hart-Deville, 15, hit, killed by a Great White, Wooli Beach, NSW, July 11, 2020.

Rob Pedretti, 60, hit, killed, by a Great white, Salt Beach, NSW, June 7, 2020.

You see a pattern? No?

Yes?

Before yesterday’s hit gets lost in a fog of shrugged shoulders and smug pronouncements that humans don’t belong in the ocean, let’s read what the grim reality of a Great White attack is like from the perspective of observers who saw the attack, saw the aftermath.

“I was out in the surf and I heard screaming, I paddled further out to the water and saw a man without an arm, there was lots of blood. He was shouting ‘help me’ — people were trying to get him out to the shore.”

“I saw paramedics performing CPR on him for about an hour and a half trying to save them.”

“It didn’t look good. I’ve been surfing for 22 years on Emerald Beach and there’s never been an attack in my knowledge like this. I really feel for the dude’s family — it’s a popular beach. I’ll get back in water but not for a while.”

A weeping paramedic,

“A male in his approximate late 20s, sustained significant injuries to his upper body, which has resulted in major bl — I can’t even say that… It was a devastating for everybody on the beach this morning.  A number of local surfers and bystanders came to the aid of this man, they were incredibly brave in a very challenging situation.”

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Forgetting Sarah Marshall’s “Happy Hawaiian Waiter” and Momentum Generation star Kalani Robb turns to popular horse dewormer in order to beat Covid-19; Meticulously documents experience!

"Day two..."

It appears as if Filipe Toledo’s “huge scuffle” at Lower Trestles has finally subsided without much injury. Whew. Dangerous days, still, and strange ones too what with Mick Fanning performing environmental theater, Chinese multinationals selling very cheap surfboards and Forgetting Sarah Marshall’s “Happy Hawaiian Waiter,” Momentum Generation star Kalani Robb contracting the Coronavirus and attempting to cure with the popular horse dewormer ivermectin.

Whew is right.

Robb, who is meticulously documenting his journey on Instagram (follow here), was self-professedly inspired by “Oprah for men” Joe Rogan who also recently contracted Covid-19 and told his loyal following, “We immediately threw the kitchen sink at it. All kinds of meds. Monoclonal antibodies, ivermectin, Z-pak, prednisone, everything. And I also got an anti-D drip and a vitamin drip.”

Studies are inconclusive if ivermectin is, in fact, effective though the Food and Drug Administration very much warns against its use.

Fauci-related?

Some darkly conflicted business?

Rogan went on to say that he cured himself in three days, telling his fans, “I feel pretty fucking good.”

Robb is currently on day two.

How will this worm turn?

More as the story develops.

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Fans, fangs flashing, viciously round on Mick Fanning as world’s most lovable surfer issues vacuous climate change message: “Stop getting 100 boards a year is a good start!”

Performative environmentalism.

Mick Fanning’s rise from provincial drunk to multiple time champion to businessman to world’s most lovable surfer has been as wonderful as it has been inspiring. Who could have ever dreamed that a boy once named Eugene would soar to such heights, captivating hearts along the way? Beer baron, hybrid yoga impresario, podcast host, adoring fans growing and growing and growing all whilst swooning over that smile once rudely described as “blandly chipped-tooth’d” (buy here in exciting new audio format read by the author). Higher and higher and higher.

Inspiring.

And yet, if there is one important story from western civilization it is that of Icarus. The lad who tried to escape his lowly station with wings made of wax. So fond was he of soaring, though, that he flew too near the sun and met an ugly fate, drowning in the sea.

So too has Fanning just been burned by that overheating sun and is now drowning in negative Instagram comments.

The Rip Curl star took to Instagram, last week, and posted a vacuous message about Australian athletes doing their part to stop climate change.

Performative environmentalism.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CTKR0u8H-p7/

This sort of business once received only clapping hands emojis and heart-eye’d emojis but the general public has grown weary of pure performance and Mick Fanning’s own fans viciously rounded on him.

Albie Ussher hit directly at Fanning’s bottom line, asking, “Well ironically the athletes would have to stop getting sponsored from all the polluting companies yes?”

Carl Gaudin offered, “As soon as you stop flying in planes and consuming imported products I can take you seriously on this. Or maybe I’d actually believe you cared about humanity if you spoke out about your oppressive government – that is the real threat – tyranny from government.”

Tim Bourke danced with the hypocrisy, “Stop getting 100 boards a year is a good start.”

And James Bellhouse applauded, “It’s great news that you’re shutting down production of your toxic MF softboards, they’re horrible for the environment.”

On and on it went with only brave Taylor Knox standing in the gap, offering “raise the roof” emojis.

Do you think Fanning is deeply considering the frustration or is he turning to the “world’s most environmentally damaging person” Kelly Slater for advice on how to navigate these uncertain times?

More as the story develops.

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