Congratulations!
Surfing great Jonah Hill, previously famous for funny movies, has absolutely shredded surfers, the media, general public for spreading misinformation about his love life in a searing Instagram post.
The heir to Miki Dora’s Malibu throne has clapped back at those suggesting he may be engaged to love interest and surf instructor Sarah Brady writing “The rumors are not true. I am engaged. But not to my girlfriend. I am engaged to your mom. I know this is shocking but please respect our privacy at this time.”
He geotagged the post with “your mom’s house.”
Geotagging.
Do you participate?
But more to the point, what do you feel about Hill now being engaged to your mother?
Mike Delaney, Jonah Hill doppelgänger Matt Biolos’s glasser, seemed thrilled, responding, “My mom is a lesbian so it makes perfect sense. Congrats you two” adding a shaka for emphasis.
Other surfers were confused though possibly elated at entering Malibu’s heavy pecking order, as son-in-law, near the top.
Though how do you feel?
If Jonah Hill ended up marrying your mother would you be ring bearer at the great event or sulking at home?
I’d have to think you’d be ring bearer.
Congratulations.
I’ve always been confused about the mom/mum/mother barbs in the US. I never got it. My mum was an overweight alcoholic whose mascara was running before she’d left the door in the morning coz of the sweats from the night before. Never had any money and always smelled pickled.
So when I heard all those “I fucked your mom” bla bla bla jokes, I always thought “geez, poor bloke really has troubles in his life.” Never in a million years could work out how they were supposed to insult me…
nevermind
Sheryl may have your keys, but who’s got the key to Sheryl?
The most surprising thing about Jonah Hill is that for a successful comedian he’s not very funny.
he comes across as a fun-free fat-conscious fucknuckle appropriating surf culture.
“Engaged to your mom” Now that’s fucking funny. Comedy gold!! Chas you taking notes? Surely this is the kind of nugget that that can only help you on your own journey to being funny that Jonah so graciously wished you luck on.
I thought the unfunniness was lost in transpacific translation, so thanks for that. I’m very glad an American found it equally the opposite of comic.
In 6 months I’ll get my mum to divorce him and take half his $$$ and half his soft tops
problem is by that point the soft tops will be water logged
My mum’s 86
Good luck to him…
Not very woke of him, is there something wrong with getting engaged to my dad? Soooo homophobic of him
I dug older women growing up. I have stories. Once you realize it is possible, it becomes easy and very rewarding.
Only trouble with trading up is timing. Once the women hit early 50’s, menopause rears it’s celibate head.
Trolling 40 year olds at 25 is game on. Trolling 55 year olds at 40, the joke is on you. That is why older men seek out younger women. That whole dirty old man robbing the cradle is actually a sexually active male making the only choice he can. Not as easy as trading up, but if you want to fuck….. ?
As for Jonah, who really cares? The video of him surfing with his girl while the black guy smirked was priceless. Brutal. But that’s about it. Jonah is surfing where kooks should be and there are so many now, what’s the point of laboring over his presence? California is one big land of dorks anyway.
Dude is gonna marry the somewhat kind of pretty long board girl, if he marries. Good on him. He looks better tan although I would suggest against more cartooning his body. This is they type of lazy story that is better left not posted. Go see the guys movies if you’re so fascinated by him.
Except this fine write up would never exist. Thank you!
You shopping that ME book as a script?
Marriage is a wonderful institution and a key to long lasting happiness.
Yes, true.
Here ya go, Jonah !
You can thank us later.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Whoops
Nothing to see here.
This is very immature on the part of Mr. Hill, and far beneath Beach Grit’s high standards of discourse. I trust our worthy Proprietors will not sink to such lows.
It’s all very silly, isn’t it?
Consider my pearls CLUTCHED, and my mouth a perfect portrait of a dogs anus, sir.
HAARRRRUMPPPFFFF!
Since I’m old enough to be Vajonah’s father, if he was engaged to my mother, he’d be a truly weird fuck indeed. That to the side, I’d deal with the Malibu crowd just to burn that VAL kook repeatedly.
I tend to burn a lot of people who only go straight. I found that you still get a thrill but without any repercussions… which is nice
Most older men would prefer to marry a younger woman and be accused of robbing the cradle.
Jonah would rather be accused of robbing the grave.