San Diego surfer leaves water after shark scare only to get ambushed on land by evil rattlesnake: “It felt like someone dropped a knife on my foot…”

"Is this going to be how it's going to end? After surfing and getting bitten by a rattlesnake?"

As fate would have it, I was in California’s desert interior over the weekend, far away from civilization and cell phone coverage, surrounded by various cacti, reddish boulders, cowboy death. My very best friends, the same with whom I traveled to Yemen post 9/11, Syria, played war correspondent in Lebanon etc., decided at the dawn of Covid that it would be better if we just educated our collected children together. It’s a wild experiment, now rounding year two’s bend, and part of the curriculum includes adventure like sailing to Mexico in the middle of a storm, riding the rails from Paris to Moscow, pitching trucks off cliffs, letting them free to explore this world on their own.

The only worry I usually have, at least in California, is that mean ol’ rattlesnake.

It turns out my fears are justified for a San Diego surfer, Matt Gmyr, just became bitten by one after cutting a surf session short at South Torrey Pines, because a shark was circling.

“I like to just step up onto this little section of dirt next to the curb and just check out the surf one last time and watch my buddies catch some waves,” he told San Diego’s CBS affiliate. “I felt like someone dropped a knife on my foot, like it was sharp pain and I look down and there’s a snake attached to my foot.”

The snake happened to be a diamond back and he knew he needed care, quickly, so called the paramedics. By the time they arrived, though, he was already feeling the poison.

“I was feeling the full body tingling, the lips, the face, the numbness, swelling, and it was crazy,” he said. “There’s a point when I was calling out to God saying, ‘Oh, I don’t want to die like this. Is this going to be how it’s going to end? After surfing and getting bitten by a rattlesnake?’”

He was rushed to Scripps in La Jolla where doctors discovered five bite marks on his foot and consider him lucky to be alive. He’s still in the hospital though hopes to be released Friday.

Rattlesnakes. Ugh. But what would Mick Fanning have done? Something to ponder.

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piss brohoff
piss brohoff
4 years ago

had my first rattle battle on our property on Friday. cats discovered the sucker nestled under a wood pile (having a wood pile is mistake #1). took me 45 minutes of gingerly moving pieces of wood to expose it and taking futile kill shot attempts (boy do those get your blood pumping) before I caught it broadside with the digging bar. wailed until it was in pieces. 3-footer with barely visible rattle, the sound of which was so high-pitched I initially thought it was one of the cats hissing. fiance and kid watched from the driveway and said I looked possessed. I was. drank a post-kill beer in about 3 seconds and dreamt of serpientes that night.

FL Skunk Ape
FL Skunk Ape
4 years ago

Was playing golf with a good friend – he went into the woods to take a leak and somehow got bit by a rattlesnake on his pecker. I ran over to the nearby DR office and he told me emphatically ‘you need to suck the poison out of him or he’s going to die’. I ran back over and my buddy frantically asks ‘What did the DR say?’ and I told him – ‘He said ‘You’re gonna die!!’

channelbottom
channelbottom
4 years ago

Jake Paterson’s coaching style is getting out of hand.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
4 years ago

At least he wasn’t sunbathing nude…

Sean Connery
Sean Connery
4 years ago

What a fairy.

Picard Madeoff
Picard Madeoff
4 years ago

Leave it to the king to offer the ONLY solution besides Jim Jones’ famous kool-aid!

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
4 years ago

T.here
I.s
T.ime
T.ake

I.t
E.ven
S.lower

and enjoy what GOD has given US!!

disqus_00d1gIXedO
disqus_00d1gIXedO
4 years ago

do you fear public schooling more than rattle snakes?

velobwoy
velobwoy
4 years ago

Any sane person would

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
4 years ago

That was the most positive thing from the article. Charlie knows his audience, and keeps his opinion/beliefs sheltered. But bro, that’s about the most logical thing a Man can do these days. It’s being brought to light, and proven that feminist/gays are indoctrinating children, and ruining their lives!

RS
RS
4 years ago
Reply to  ValiantScorn

I worked with a lot of gay people for years and conclude that the world would be much better off if they ran it. Exhibit A: Compare any neighborhood that becomes a “gay” neighborhood to what it was previously. Moreover, what do you mean “indoctrinating”: A person is either attracted to their own sex or they are not.

Pauly Matt War-Shore
Pauly Matt War-Shore
4 years ago

All them shootings over there, I know I would.

Stick man
Stick man
4 years ago

Mick would surely head to a hidden stretch of Africa(Angola?) on Rip Curl’s Search dime and score empty sand-bottom perfection to a song called ‘Rattlesnake’. That’s what he would do. Did.
P.S. He looked like a dinosaur yesterday in the comp and wtf that skateboard ad?

Picard Madeoff
Picard Madeoff
4 years ago
Reply to  Stick man

Well that ends my desire to buy a Mick Fanning 8 oh soft top!

Barrelled
Barrelled
4 years ago

It would be completely annoying to see this guy in the water. I don’t care if he can do handstands and other stupid pet tricks. LAME way to surf.

channelbottom
channelbottom
4 years ago
Reply to  Barrelled

Hey! Don’t slag-off a top Hurluley Freestyle Team Member!

Barrelled
Barrelled
4 years ago

White Lightning would have grabbed and skinned that thing before anybody realized what was happening. Ka-chow!

Sean Connery
Sean Connery
4 years ago

Is he deaf?

Barrelled
Barrelled
4 years ago
Reply to  Sean Connery

They don’t always rattle. And Elizabeth-bot is all over your post.

Sean Connery
Sean Connery
4 years ago
Reply to  Barrelled

She can’t get enough of me.

Barrelled
Barrelled
4 years ago
Reply to  Sean Connery

I got Karen-bot on my tip. Ha!

Occ Topus
Occ Topus
4 years ago
Reply to  Sean Connery

Also, how was it he was bit FIVE times? Rattlesnakes be like “Whoo… this mofo STUPID!”

Whitefolkswithdreadsarefunny
Whitefolkswithdreadsarefunny
4 years ago
Reply to  Sean Connery

Exactly! I’ve heard that sound on 2 occasions and it stopped me dead in my tracks.

Emmanuel
Emmanuel
4 years ago

Young rattlesnakes don’t rattle until their rattles have grown at about one year old

SoCalGary
SoCalGary
4 years ago
Reply to  Sean Connery

and also must not have any nerves in his lower extremities if he was bitten 5 times. Or no fast twitch muscle fibers and can’t move too fast. And that’s never good when trying to surf the beach breaks at south Torrey. See Occ Topus below…

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
4 years ago
Reply to  Sean Connery

Water in his ears. All he could hear was his chest pounding from that shark circling..

Black Rubber
Black Rubber
4 years ago

A last name with no traditional vowels. Never trust the man.

Local Sewage Pipe
Local Sewage Pipe
4 years ago

FIVE Bites?!?!?!


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