"DON'T HERO!"
"DON'T HERO!"

World’s greatest surf ambassador Kelly Slater, fangs bared, savagely goes for throat of lesser-skilled kin: “The number of people in over their heads trying to get their hero shot is beyond comprehension.”

"If you don't hero, don't start..."

Kelly Slater’s place in our surfing pantheon is beyond dispute. He is an 11x world champion, Eddie winner, multiple-time Pipeline Master, Pro Pipeline, Surfer Poll’s most decorated and that, there, is just off the very top of my head. An icon without shade, unless he is throwing, and, thus, when he speaks we listen.

And speak, hours ago, metaphorically, he did. Slater took to his favorite platform and wrote, “The number of people in over their heads at places all around the world trying to get their hero shot is beyond dangerous. And the awareness level is even lower than the surfing level.”

Being blocked, I neither have access to context nor conversation but I think the sentiment stands alone, no?

Very clear.

The question, do you agree with the world’s greatest surf ambassador or do you think he is being… what’s the word… hypocritical?

Do as I say not as I do etc.

Have you, yourself, every tried to get your “hero shot” only to become greatly embarrassed and/or deadly? I once attempted to get barreled at Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch, I suppose, only to have my arm violently ripped from its socket but was very aware of my poor performance and don’t consider sliding into a small-ish tube overly dangerous.

To each his own?

That, unfortunately, is very much what Slater appears to be against.

Selfishness.

Thankfully our shared hero is above reproach.

More as the story develops.

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notsurfingtoday
notsurfingtoday
4 years ago

He’s all that, no doubt, but this even better that the real thing

https://youtu.be/HZZPnYnSSR0

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago

and sit furthest outside and rip and no one will ever bother ya. used to work for me!

Joe Deal
Joe Deal
4 years ago
Reply to  tim_nelsen

never crowded behind the peak …

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago

unlike CB’s waning hero shot, Bowie’ music gets better with age…

channelbottom
channelbottom
4 years ago
Reply to  tim_nelsen

How fucking good was Bowie!?!

Hunky Dory as an album, looking back, seems waaaaaay ahead of it’s time. Mind blowing.

FL Skunk Ape
FL Skunk Ape
4 years ago

He is 100% correct. Took the family to Santa Teresa and was a complete shit show. People who couldn’t even duck dive out in 2x overhead surf and nothing but in the way and shoulder hopping. Bailing boards – one kid turned turtle to use his board as a shield introducing three sharp fins as I BT’d around him instead of paddling toward the whitewater and DD’ing like you’re supposed to.

New surfers need to have some awareness. And guys like drkimura can go fuck themselves – that’s exactly who we are talking about.

MightyMouse75
MightyMouse75
4 years ago

Who gives a fuck..
The world’s best surfer Clay Marzo just won the padang cup from substitute..

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago
channelbottom
channelbottom
4 years ago
Reply to  tim_nelsen

How the hell are his little arms going to reach to paddle?

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

hero shot, CB…trying hard to stay on topic.

notsurfingtoday
notsurfingtoday
4 years ago
Reply to  tim_nelsen

The kid’s real happy! But the artwork does look a bit …vaginal? Is it on purpose?

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago

found this on happy surfer’s fb site…not dated…

but to answer your question, I had a custom John Lessing in 72 with a green ‘tear drop’ placed right at my waist on the deck…subliminal message? maybe…

a big peter green fan, the green manalishi more likely…

https://youtu.be/m0PyhrHOtRo

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago
The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
4 years ago
Reply to  tim_nelsen

And later that day backing up Bob

https://www.youtube.com/wat…

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago

honorable mention…

Cannabis-Creativity
Cannabis-Creativity
4 years ago

Aaron Rodgers is football’s Kelly Slater.
https://youtu.be/dtKeojxoUEM

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago

recycle shailene? or punt?

Cannabis-Creativity
Cannabis-Creativity
4 years ago
Reply to  tim_nelsen

Punt. Athletes are so spiritual these days. They go to retreats. Like wow man. An experience.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago

jr lifeguards…
https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx….

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago

recently admitted that he and danica ate ‘shrooms together…called that experience the best day of his life…

he must have taken her in the dunes…

channelbottom
channelbottom
4 years ago

Could this have been misinterpreted?

Perhaps he’s talking about assassination attempts by people who love their heroes so much that they go a bit crazy and try to kill them.

“… trying to get their hero shot…”
Take for instance the headline photo.
Look at this wee bastard in the back.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Using highly sophisticated technology, I can reveal the danger lurking. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

notsurfingtoday
notsurfingtoday
4 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

That’s Lil’Eddie from Da Baader-MeinhofPak !

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

pulitzer prize nominee for best doctored photo. and i’m no doc! or BOT!

channelbottom
channelbottom
4 years ago
Reply to  tim_nelsen

“Doctored”!!!???!
How VERY dare you.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
4 years ago

Counts fr nutin when they bail in front of you and they ding your stick man.
Plus noone lives in NZ

channelbottom
channelbottom
4 years ago
tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

saw her at the VTA County Fair in the 80s…think she’s headlining again this year…she never gets old!

Wotusay
Wotusay
4 years ago

So now, the king is facing what’s happened to every beach and all of us. Reality check overdue.

german_surfer_007
german_surfer_007
4 years ago

We can collectively agree that surfing sucks. I mean, it’s fun to do, but look at the state of 90% of the fuckers who do it, the worst homo sapiens I have met.

AI (for ever) .
AI (for ever) .
4 years ago

yeah

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago

played driving miss daisy for mom for years. sitting in the passenger seat and everytime we drove past a well known, perpetually crowded surf spot, she spouts: “Doesn’t anyone work anymore?” Hit me every time ’cause i had been retired for years…

Joe Deal
Joe Deal
4 years ago

Never have hung out with ‘surfers’ ever, especially in the water. Watching the ‘pros’ get skii’d out to the lineup where one of them will have ‘priority’ is the most pathetic thing imaginable but one listen to the WSL announcers and you’ll get why.

Capt Sensible
Capt Sensible
4 years ago

Well thats pro surfings legacy for ya

Ricky Spanish
Ricky Spanish
4 years ago

For once i actually agree with ol’ chrome dome

AI (for ever) .
AI (for ever) .
4 years ago
Reply to  Ricky Spanish

I know but it’s like he brought the horse, fed it, trained it, loved it, removed the barn door from it’s hinges and slapped it on the flank with a YEEHAA , now his stood back and complained the horse has bolted.

Sean Connery
Sean Connery
4 years ago

That was beautifully stated

phldirt
phldirt
4 years ago

Yes, I’m dangerous and completely unaware of others when getting that hero shot, but what does my subpar surfing have to do with the bedroom?

JohnsKnees
JohnsKnees
4 years ago
Reply to  phldirt
Billy Hunt
Billy Hunt
4 years ago
Reply to  JohnsKnees

Having spent the last 2 hours trying to replicate this shot … I can’t for the life of me figure out how you’ve done it … please enlighten us oh one handed master

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago
Reply to  JohnsKnees

vote up or down? 24 hours later i’ve made a decision…

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
4 years ago

He doesnt really explain hero shot. The worst place for clueless beginners has to be noosa or byron.

If he’s talking death defying waves like pipe, well kooks usually get told to fuck off by the lifeguards before they even dip a toe in the water.

Now there might be average joes trying to get their one wave ever at pipe just to tick a box, but mother nature will sort them out pretty quickly.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
4 years ago

5G strikes again!

Party Pete
Party Pete
4 years ago

They want you dumb and they got you dumb.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
4 years ago
Reply to  Party Pete

Cool personal pronouns rule!!!

notsurfingtoday
notsurfingtoday
4 years ago

Yeah i know, it’s childish but someone had to do it.
Slow day today.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Stick man
Stick man
4 years ago

Purps

Hippy
Hippy
4 years ago

Comment of the month


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