Die socialist die.
As you are certainly well aware, the World Surf League opens its Final’s Day window in two days. Of course that does not necessarily mean the event, pitting the top five surfers, on both male and female side, against each other over one scintillating eight-ish hour period will directly run but it will run soon, that much is certain.
As anticipation builds to fever levels, one troubling issue has dogged diehard fans of professional surfing for the past few months.
Namely, the state of WSL CEO Erik Logan’s facial hair.
What was once pure cocaine cowboy has since gone the way, lightly, of Karl Marx and while hirsute radicalism is accepted in some corners, professional surfing is not one of them. The world’s favorite surf commentator Barton “Papa Surf” Lynch, for example, was unceremoniously sacked for possibly getting too weird, metaphorically economically.
Seeing as nobody doesn’t like Lynch, aficionados worried that Logan’s visual pivot to “socialism” might endanger his position and, thus, upset the apple cart once again after a string of failed CEOs including, but not limited to, Paul Speaker.
Well, a major sigh of relief was exhaled, moments ago, when the Oklahoma native addressed the issue publicly.
In a video trend popular with 11-year-old girls, Logan shared a stunning before and after, writing, “It’s finals week. had to call in the professionals to tame down this Beard situation. lol. @neekobackstage_ exciting times ahead see everyone at lower Trestles! LFG!!!!!”
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LFG stands for “let’s fucking go” to the under-informed here.
Logan spared for now.