Oh what might have been.
Oh what might have been. As folk everywhere have come to know, the World Surf League is on an unprecedented tear in sport. Numbers through the roof. To the moon. Professional surfing, at its highest level, more popular than the National Basketball Association, European soccer, American football too.
An unprecedented run though, notably missing, any celebrity endorsement. Certainly beloved actor Jonah Hill, race car rebel Lewis Hamilton and other heavy names have fallen in love with our favorite pastime, at a participation level, but not one name bigger than Chris Cote there taking in the action, live and in person, on Lower Trestles’ cobbled stone for the historic spike.
Cote certainly wonderful and important, historically, but no Mark Zuckerberg.
Facebook’s founder and CEO, rich, universally known, dabbled in our obsession in recent years becoming a big wave surfer, palling around with BFF Kai Lenny but then blush off rose as he declared his number one passion is choking and rolling and mixing his martial arts.
America’s 11th richest person, though, just transitioned his love of violence into actual fandom. Early reports suggested that he so enjoys sweaty men bloodying each other that he rented out the entire Ultimate Fighting Championships 211 “fight night” thereby barring media from covering.
CEO Dana White denied the charge, calling it lies, but media was not allowed to attend and Zuckerberg was there, hollering, front row, posing with the aforementioned White, otherwise feted.
But what do you imagine Zuckerberg’s skincare regiment is? How does he maintain such shine? Youthful Cesar cut?
More importantly, how sad is World Surf League CEO Erik Logan that he is not called “The Boss” and also has no famous affirmation?
Openly weeping, I’d imagine.
Jack Dorsey, are you there? It’s me, ELo.
Etc.
What are u talking about this guy is such a wanker no one is thinking about this but u dude.
What a dumb article. Lol surfing will never be the US’s favorite past time. Noone even cares about surfing you nerd. And it sounds to me like your the only one crying over Mark Zuckerberg. What grown man cries and worries about what another grown man watches as sports. Get a hobby weirdo
And if it sounds like anyone is openly crying about Mark Zuckerberg…it’s clearly your 🤡 self. Lmao a grown man… all worried and bothered by what another grown man wants to watch as a sport. Noone cares about queerboarding. Go watch real man sport.🏈🏈🏈 or I got a better idea .. write about something people actually care about.
Lmao I just had to sign up to this wack site to make fun of this writer. 🤣 in what world is the US’s favorite past time sport is surfing? Man shut your stupid self up and go read a book. Noone cares about surfing. If you don’t watch football and the NFL for that matter … your a nerd. Go outside breathe in fresh air and find a hobby you clown
His a slimy little punk Jew boy. I bet he calls his mommy everyday.
Dirty Zuckerberg is hated by hawaiians for building a wall around his home in Kuai that blocks the view of the ocean. Hw is just a dirty Israeli spy.
Who writes these shit articles?
Dana’s head is 2x Zucks.
Zucks IQ is 100x Dana’s.
I hope Zuck tipped all the competitors, as they had no audience cheering them on while they fought……just Zuck and his ol lady…that’d be wierd.
Turtle Turd Manoeuvre!!!
Sooner the world ends the better – im going surfing!!!
He needs to zinc-up and get in the ring. Start foiling the fuck outta his opponents. Perhaps loads of roids as well.
Imagine him jumping tables in future congressional hearing and being tasered as he screams bloodcurdling threats, red-faced and shredding his shirt in rage.
If he ain’t wearing a Whoopy-band then how can we take him seriously?
He still won’t be tough as the great philosopher Mike Tyson once opined:
“Everyone has a plan until they get hit”
Don’t use quotation marks if you’re gonna paraphrase. Jesus.
Is Picard actually Jesus?!?! Does Sam realise?!?!
I believe that Jesus was left wing.
According to much of the US rightwing base, he was a violent fascist.
WHOA! The paraphrasing police are out in force! Sorry I upset you but I will now follow the below:
How to paraphrase
Read the original source carefully. …
Identify the main point(s) and key words.
Cover the original text and rewrite it in your own words. …
Write the paraphrase in your own style. …
Review your paraphrase to check it accurately reflects the original text but is in your words and style.
Was probably taking the piss, ay.
spot on
You see your stickers I out up, that I posted on other threads?
Yes!!!
Great placement. I hope they last!
Zucker Punch!
He’s gonna need to learn how to take a punch, I bet the next Facebook shareholders meeting won’t be super friendly
Zuck is about to get on the juice and have his head swell to epic proportions.
Lograp states on Instagram that Joel Tudor is banned for the rest of 2022, meaning he won’t be able to defend his “title” at Malibu. Lol!