Oh what might have been.

Oh what might have been. As folk everywhere have come to know, the World Surf League is on an unprecedented tear in sport. Numbers through the roof. To the moon. Professional surfing, at its highest level, more popular than the National Basketball Association, European soccer, American football too.

An unprecedented run though, notably missing, any celebrity endorsement. Certainly beloved actor Jonah Hill, race car rebel Lewis Hamilton and other heavy names have fallen in love with our favorite pastime, at a participation level, but not one name bigger than Chris Cote there taking in the action, live and in person, on Lower Trestles’ cobbled stone for the historic spike.

Cote certainly wonderful and important, historically, but no Mark Zuckerberg.

Facebook’s founder and CEO, rich, universally known, dabbled in our obsession in recent years becoming a big wave surfer, palling around with BFF Kai Lenny but then blush off rose as he declared his number one passion is choking and rolling and mixing his martial arts.

America’s 11th richest person, though, just transitioned his love of violence into actual fandom. Early reports suggested that he so enjoys sweaty men bloodying each other that he rented out the entire Ultimate Fighting Championships 211 “fight night” thereby barring media from covering.

CEO Dana White denied the charge, calling it lies, but media was not allowed to attend and Zuckerberg was there, hollering, front row, posing with the aforementioned White, otherwise feted.

But what do you imagine Zuckerberg’s skincare regiment is? How does he maintain such shine? Youthful Cesar cut?

More importantly, how sad is World Surf League CEO Erik Logan that he is not called “The Boss” and also has no famous affirmation?

Openly weeping, I’d imagine.

Jack Dorsey, are you there? It’s me, ELo.

Etc.

"I am a good catch!"

The eyes of the world, today, are focused on the South American country of Brazil where citizens are currently heading to the voting booths for a “historic” election pitting sitting president Jair Bolsonaro against one-time president Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva. According to most polls Lula, who sits on the left-ish of the political spectrum, has a comfortable lead though Bolsonaro, hard-esque right, is claiming that if he loses the final tabulations it will be because of fraud.

Brazil, as students of history know, was a military dictatorship from the mid 1960s to the mid 1980s and pundits fear that if Bolsonaro falls short, he may either push on the levers of power to remain in office or stoke violent protests on the streets, shoving the country into chaos.

Much worry and hand wringing except not for three time surfing champion Gabriel Medina. The national hero, who once participated in a wonderful three-way with the aforementioned Bolsonaro and very close friend Neymar Jr., took to Instagram not hours ago with this scintillating message.

The rough English translation being, “Taking advantage of the fact that everyone is talking about politics, I would like to say that I am a good catch.”

But who could forget that Medina’s marriage to model Yasmin Brunet ended abruptly this past January. The family, which had been strained, blew nuclear in the aftermath as salacious details, accusations, counter-accusations poured into the regional press.

Well, things calmed down, as things do, and, I think, Medina’s sentiment is as accurate as any. He is still young, handsome, wealthy and talented. Any gal bringing him home to meet the parents, as it were, would be met with instant approval.

The very picture of success.

Left or right, junta or democracy, everything comes up Medina.

More questions than answers.

Wave pools are no longer chimeras of science-fiction in our surfing world, no. They are as real as Mad Max Fury Road. As Dirk Ziff’s $5.7 billion and all fine and all good. Wave pools are very fun to surf, though I haven’t experienced all the technologies yet, of which there are many, including, Kelly Slater’s plow, the rusty plunger, Wavegarden’s other plow, Surf Loch’s whoosh. Waco’s other whoosh, etc.

On an interesting related note, birthplace of surfing Oahu is set to get its first wave pool though has opted for none of the above. The Wai Kai Wave park, to be built near Ewa Beach, has opted for a Jamie O’Brien-esque shovel n sand model. Shall we learn more? According to Forbes:

This exciting development is the first of its kind in Hawai’i, where modern surfing caught a wave in the cultural zeitgeist, and it will have the world’s largest deep-water standing surf wave. Powered by citywave®, this technology creates realistic surfing conditions with infinite and adjustable waves, ranging from two to six feet to accommodate a range of skill levels. The 100-foot-wide controlled wave will allow up to three surfers at a time, and an additional 30 in the “barefoot zone,” and is designed to emulate natural standing river waves like the North Shore’s famous Waimea River Sand Bar.

The Wai Kai Wave was created in collaboration with local surfer Shane Beschen, an X Games gold medalist and former world number two surfer. He and other former and current professional surfers will be available for hands-on instruction and training sessions.

Huh.

You in?

If you can't rock n roll...

Lewis Hamilton is an international icon, a winning competitor, very handsome but also cute like a chinchilla. He is, in short, a perfect man, and surf enthusiast, guided by the one and only Kelly Slater. A few years ago, Hamilton penned, “He probably doesn’t know this but Kelly changed my life for the better. I want you all to know how great of a human being this man is. I am forever grateful for the time you have given me, for the insight and your passion for the waves. Thank you @kellyslater! Can’t wait until we can hit the waves again.”

Well, Hamilton’s love of our rebellious surfing lifestyle, replete with edgy sunglasses, mud hill sliding, mud hill policing, cocaine etc. has landed the F1 star in hot water as he was summoned to the highest law in that sport in order to answer for some rock n roll.

Per ESPN.

No further action has been taken against Lewis Hamilton for wearing a nose stud during qualifying day for the Singapore Grand Prix, although his Mercedes team has been fined €25,000 for submitting a scrutineering form that declared Hamilton was not wearing jewellery.

Hamilton explained after qualifying that he was wearing his nose stud because removing it at previous rounds had led to an infection and he had been told by doctors to keep it in place to avoid the infection coming back.

The stewards at the Singapore Grand Prix accepted Hamilton’s explanation, but still fined Mercedes for signing off a form that “declared that the driver complied with the requirement not to wear jewellery in the form of body piercing”.

Now, of course Slater would have counseled Hamilton to steer clear of the rebel yell, as he has always represented the glories of clean living, and it can only be hoped that the British speedster will return to the honest path.

Truth and integrity.