Photo: Step Brothers.
Photo: Step Brothers.

Blood Feud: Original Instagram surf meme account goes for throat of competitor in vicious pictorial slash!


If you know me, have ever read a word I’ve written or listen to one I’ve spoken, then you know that I am an outspoken advocate for beef between media outlets. Oh, I regularly wish for wonderful entertaining barbs between any of the players and always try to stoke the fire. Alas, Stab is profoundly not funny, The Inertia too soft, Surfline all conservative, Surfer dead leaving me to poke all by my lonesome sad and depressed.

Thankfully, there is Instagram where the popular surf meme account Kook of the Day just took a vicious slash at Kook Slams.


Surf meme account historians will recall the heady days when @kookoftheday first rolled out with photos making light of various surf offenses in a lighthearted way. If my timeline proves correct, @kookslams followed a few months later and featured videos of surfers, or surf-adjacents, getting rolled, pounded, generally messed about by water.

Both were very funny and caused many laughs, though at some point, @kookoftheday fell afoul of that hateful Mark Zuckerberg empire and became disappeared with its million+ followers. A replacement account, @kookofthedayog, was launched and while it only has 100000+ followers to @kookslams 1.7 million, it was not afraid enter the battle arena.

Likening @kookslams to Tiger Woods and itself to John Daly.


Comments are currently raging about which account is better, though at the time of writing, @kookslams has yet to respond.

Will it? Or will @kookofthedayog be left, like me, to poke alone?

More as the story develops.

Davidson (left) with big WSL draw Kelly Slater (insert). Photo: King of Staten Island
Davidson (left) with big WSL draw Kelly Slater (insert). Photo: King of Staten Island

Speculation runs wild that WSL attempting to juice Pro Pipeline with celebrity flare after Pete Davidson and Chase Sui Wonders spotted canoodling in Hawaii!

Dirty tricks.

The sun has risen, once again, on this new post-Eddie Aikau Invitational 2023 world bathing all of us, each and every, in undeniably gorgeous light. All of us, each and every, not including World Surf League brass, that is. Oh the most prestigious surf contest on earth really tore apart any shred of dignity the WSL had left by hosting an event with no sponsors, no fussy rules, no Surf Ranch, Lower Trestles, nifty graphics packages, Joe Turpel or a professional surfing victor and it was the best that ever was.

Perfection in every way.

Except, once again, to the aforementioned muckety-mucks who are bubbling in their own jealously, refusing to recognize the Eddie and possibly planning some tricks in order to juice their own days-away Pro Pipeline.

Maybe, even, the du jour it boy Pete Davidson?

Surf fans, and love sleuths, are certainly aware of the actor-comedian from his dalliance with quaint California surf town resident Emily Ratajkowski, but before that he was attached to the even more famous inter-Malibu local Kim Kardashian and before that engaged to Florida’s Ariana Grande.

Davidson draws much attention wherever he goes about whoever he is with, which, currently, happens to be Hawaii and Chase Sui Wonders. The two were caught canoodling on the beach and speculation immediately ran wild that the “global home of surfing” invited the Saturday Night Live alumn in order to bring attention to the Pro Pipeline.

Dirty tricks.

If Davidson and Wonders do happen to catch opening day from the Volcom House balcony, mainstream media attention will surely flow, Slater will undoubtedly pay them a visit, WSL CEO Erik Logan will be in the bushes throwing a shaka and Head of Tours Jessi Miley-Dyer will be winning an award.

The Eddie all but lost in the shuffle.

Hardened surf fans attempting to remember if it even really happened.


"Dude, she's stuck under the log! What the fuck? Oh no! Someone needs to help her!" | Photo: @hawaiinewsreport

Chaotic scenes as 50,000 spectators flock to Waimea Bay during Eddie Invitational, sixty-four needing rescue, with a woman saved from certain death after almost being washed out to sea while stuck under a log, “Play stupid games, earn stupid prizes, bro!”

"That's so scary! She's stuck under that heavy-ass log!"

You didn’t have to look too far to find a little drama on the North Shore yesterday as spectators jammed every vantage point at Waimea Bay to watch the Eddie Invitational in building twenty-to-forty-foot surf.

Rescues, and there were sixty-four of ‘em as well as 10,500 warnings handed out by lifeguards, included a fourteen-year-old boy who lost consciousness after he fell ten feet out of a tree while trying to get a better view of the waves and the woman, below, who was filmed being dragged out to sea while holding onto a log.

Almost as wild as the event is the droll commentary.

“On no! Is there someone on that log,” says a woman. “She’s stuck on the log! Someone needs to help her! That was fucked up. She was stuck under that heavy-ass log.”

“What did I say? Play stupid games, earn stupid prizes, bro!” replies a man.

Slightly further afield near Pipe, a woman was sent to ER after being belted by a concrete barrier just behind the lifeguard tower and at a beachfront house nearby, a baby was washed under it after the joint was hit by a wave.

World’s most benevolent surfer Kelly Slater graciously gifts his Eddie invitation to North Shore legend Chris Owens in act of blazing love!

Tears in every eye.

Kelly Slater needs no introduction, here. The 11x world surf champion, multiple-time Pipeline Master, star of In Black and White has basically done it all, including winning an Eddie Aikau Invitational back in 2002. And he was slated to surf in yesterday’s grand affair too but decided to, instead, gift his spot to North Shore lifeguard Chris Owens.

What a move!

Slater, speaking to the local news station said, “I just wasn’t feeling it this morning and the next guy that would get it if I didn’t surf was a guy named Chris Owens. His brother Bobby was a pretty famous surfer in the 70s. A hero of mine. And Chris has been a life long surfer at Waimea and never surfed the Eddie so by me not surfing he gets to surf and I’m super happy for him. He was almost crying…”

The reporter interjects, “What a gift,” to which Slater replied, “There’s always going to be someone there who wants it more than you if you’re timid at all and it just didn’t feel like my day so I just said ‘Chris you go surf’ and he said, ‘Man, thank you…’ and we hugged it out and I can’t wait to see him surf.”


Not only an act of great benevolence (which incidentally was just spell checked to “goat” benevolence by my computer), but also a rare look into Slater’s vulnerability. He continued that he spoke with legend Tony Moniz beforehand about “feeling weird” in regards to the day with Moniz simply telling him, “Then don’t go and don’t feel weird about it.” Also how it was tough on his ego and you can see that fight in real time. Slater’s voice pinched and honest, trying to not be mad that he, himself, wasn’t about to stake another GOAT moment into the sand.

Chris Owens, you will certainly recall, was the lifeguard brutally run over at Waimea this month by an adult learner who could not turn his craft.

Slater making it all right, though.

Doing the proper thing.

A surf angel.

Tears in every eye.

WSL CEO Erik Logan (insert) not impressed. Photo: The Eddie
WSL CEO Erik Logan (insert) not impressed. Photo: The Eddie

In shameful act of simpering jealously, “global home of surfing” refuses to recognize inspirational Eddie contest!

Extremely poor sportsmanship.

The glory of yesterday’s Eddie Aikau Invitational is still ringing in the ethers. Everything about it, every shining moment, toed the line of perfection. Waves, waves that scratched the heavens and marched in never ceasing formation through Waimea’s bay. Men and women, heroic in their pursuit of glory, conquering fear and force and wind.

A victor, at the end, worthy of the contest’s namesake.

Was it the best Eddie of all-time? The biggest? Most entertaining? Debates can, and will, rage amongst surf fans, or at least surf fans who dwell outside of the “global home of surfing” where it is as if January 22, 2023 never existed.

Yes, while everyone from the Associated Press to your neighbor down the street was writing, thinking, posting about The Eddie, the World Surf League remained completely mum. No congratulations to the on-duty lifeguard Luke Shepardson on the World Surf League homepage. No Instagram posts or stories praising the valor of Ross Clarke-Jones. Not even a TikTok dance performed in honor of Keala Kennelly dropping from the sky.


And nothing on the personal pages of WSL brass either. SVP of Tours, Head of Competition Jessi Miley-Dyer featured a photo of herself posing with juniors in North County, San Diego. CEO Erik Logan, aptly, a congratulations to himself for being interviewed as part of a new tennis program.


And could the hush hush be attributed to simpering jealousy? As Derek Rielly wrote, yesterday, “A little ironic, I suppose, that the ‘best day in surfing history,’ as big-wave world champ Billy Kemper described it, had nothing to do with the WSL, surf brands or even, as the winner was announced on the beach by Clyde Aikau, a professional surfer.”

The machinations of the League both absent and completely unnecessary. At one point during yesterday’s broadcast, some 90,000 souls were logged on and watching. The most I’ve ever seen for a WSL event is lower 20,000 something (not counting millions upon millions who are continuing to tune into the live airing of Final’s Day).

And, so, while the WSL has every right to be embarrassed, looking so embarrassed is… unchill.

Extremely poor sportsmanship.

Boo, WSL.