Anti-depressive!
Well, it is 2023 now and how did you ring in the new year? With a wild party filled with champagne lit strangers? A quiet affair at home in front of the fire? I enjoyed a prix fixe dinner in Hollywood, right next to either Mary-Kate or Ashley Olsen, followed by a nice chat with wonderful friends upstairs while fireworks popped over the rain soaked horizon.
It was wonderful though I was not hailed as a hero during any point of the evening unlike the surfer Paul Myles.
The Australian was surfing off Victoria’s Great Ocean Road when he saw a shark flipping and flapping on the beach. Now, most of us would have either let it be or quietly cheered its demise but not Paul who marched straight up to the beast in order to see if he could help.
“I just thought I’d give it a chance,” he told the Daily Mail. “I wasn’t sure if it was just disorientated or sick or whatever.”
After initially trying to poke it back into the surf with his board, he realized that he was going to have to pick it up, saying, “I thought I’d get it out in the water a bit further out, see if it would swim out to sea but it didn’t seem too well.”
Didn’t seem too well is right, violently spazzing on the sand.
Being a hero, though, Paul picked the shark right up, spazz and all, and waded it out to deeper water where it flicked back out to its home.
The captured video has since gone viral with animal lovers and people with hearts praising hero Paul for his actions. Some are imagining that karma will reward him but isn’t there some story about a crocodile, or alligator, ferrying some animal across a river, eating it midway and declaring “it’s in my nature to do these sorts of things” or some such?
No good deed etc.
It’s intriguing and horrifying at the same time.
While a solid offering Troll, I am truly disappointed that Chas didn’t make this about Mary-Kate or Ashley Olsen as that is the real story here and Chas is holding out on his loyal readers. Surely Chas has a story about the beautiful people he rubbed elbows with in LA, maybe he hit Sunset and The Roxy for an alt band concert and of course we want to hear about it on these pages!
Needs more “heir to miki dora!”
YES! Now how about a comparative article on Miki Dora and Sasha Jane?
Mo betta? The Full House Reunion Party where Dave, John and Bob wore shark costumes while Candace, Jody, Mary-Kate, Ashley and Lori wore mermaid outfits while doing tequila body shots and sniffing TheKind off of bosoms and bottoms. Sharks&Mermaids, oh my!
Chas, surely you are remembering the parable of The Huntington Beach Parallel Parker and the Uncle Tito Vlogger Bro? Wherein he hath trusted the Bro (shark?, Karen?) must in good time endure the inevitable. So it is, so it will be.
Prob won’t hurt his karma any ..
neoSharkpocalypse trash prose revival. Yes please!
you should invite Chas out for a day of crabbing during a storm and have him write about that.
A three hour tour…the weather started getting rough, the tiny ship was tossed…if not for the courage of the fearless crew TheMinnow would be lost…(Now there’s the set-up) What happens next on the deserted island? (Mountains of BG-style headlines.)
Personally, lobster fishing on the backside of Anacapa almost turned deadly as a trap became entangled with rocks and pulling it up the Capt steered the Radon in a circular motion and faced on oncoming wave, machete-in-hand, and clipped the leader line just in time to keep us from breeching. This cat has ten lives…the other nine have already been posted. Ah Mexico…
I’ve been searching for an apt description of Chuck D surfing Kelly’s place…
Eloesque. You are welcome
That shark would fit in nicely with these ones…
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
I surf this place all the time. One local guy paddled out late, on his own and got nibbled by a shark. Cut up his foot.
Knowing that it was reckless and a bit stupid to surf on his own there on dusk he did a manual patch up of the wound and didn’t report it as a shark attack and didn’t go to the hospital.
I have never seen any sharks out there but one local reported paddling over one on his sup and shat himself.
So I’m assuming he didn’t need stitches, but then again maybe dude had sewing skills and lidocaine, cuz i have neither
Cut him up but not bad. Blood everywhere of course but puncture wounds not revenge sashimi.
Trying to make sense out of the Australia shark situation. Why aren’t there any in Victoria but a lot over near Adelaide? No seals in Victoria? That’s what they come to my area for.
Adelaide seems like a big city in the middle of nowhere. I wonder why it exists to begin with. I don’t know why L.A exists either. No harbor, no river etc.
Phillip island is notoriously sharky, its got big seal colonies. Home to a huge great white that vic hisplop toured around the country in a refrigerated truck to astonished land lubbers.
Out port campbell way there are also seal colonies and home to “big ben”, a monster with a big scar on its head from where “it got run over by a super tanker”. Lol.
Surf coast isnt known for atacks (theres not many seals here) but there was an attack off point lonsdale back in the 90s, and if you google “huge shark off lorne” you’ll find footage that still freaks me out. So i just try not think about it.
Thanks for the info!!
Adelaide was a puritan settlement, no convicts ever got sent there, as they always remind us. Often it was second sons of Lords who had cash but wouldn’t inherit the title. So they fucked off to the colony to make their fortunes
There was also a lot of germans settled there and set up some primo wine growing and then changed all their names in WWI lol.
Its notorious for weird shit like bodies in barrels (the metal kind) and full of bogans, but it’s actually not a bad place. Basically if South Australia was a country it would be Belgium. This is one of those rare descriptions that is both an insult and a compliment!
Such a strange place for a city. Now I want to go there , haha
LA was set up by the other 49 then 47 as a place to drop off there homeless population. The problem the movie industry and subsequently the wealthy got wind of a place where there is sunshine 345 days a year. The Warner Bros and such moved in quickly and Hollywood was born. The wealthy areas expanded over the years from Malibu all the way to Pasadena. The homeless weren’t gonna be outdone though so they too have spread there wings. You can now find tent cities through out Los Angeles County with a dealer on every corner ta boot. Each year as fall moves into the early onset of winter the other now 49 sit by there fires laughing and thinking… Enjoy your sunshine.