Red, white and extremely blue.
The architects of the cruelest spectacle in sport must be horrified as the sun rises on American soil this morning. As you know, the World Surf League, founded and based in Santa Monica, California, has just concluded its second annual mid-season cut wherein underperforming surfers are paraded in front of the people, laid on a rocky slab and ruthlessly beheaded.
It wasn’t always so. In past years, the aforementioned not-so-great would have the opportunity to right themselves throughout the season and, if not, quietly disappear whilst surf fans were not paying attention.
Alas, a lust for ratings has created the bacchanal we have now and with the round of 32 at the Margaret River Pro fully completed, we see 4/5ths of the United States’ championship tour surfers brutally executed.
Kelly Slater, winningest of all-time, was undone by Australia’s Liam O’Brien, Nat Young by Brazil’s Yago Dora, Jake Marshall by Hawaii’s John John Florence and Kolohe Andino by Australia’s Ryan Callinan all while the Star Spangled Banner was played like a dirge.
The Stars and Stripes’ only remaining surfer is Griffin Colapinto and do you imagine this is what was hoped for when Oklahoma-born and bred World Surf League Chief of Executives Erik Logan put pen to paper, making the mid-season cut official? The basic erasure of entire nation?
Well, American patriots can be lightly consoled this morning with the knowledge that not even the ultimate surfer survived the guillotine. Hawaii’s Zeke Lau’s reality television storybook journey has also come to an untimely end.
Tears in Honolulu.
Also fan favorite, Australia’s Jackson Baker, has been cleaved. Do you recall when Logan giddily posed with him at the start of the season a mere four months ago?
Merciless.
David Lee Scales and I, anyhow, lightly discussed the cruelty alongside Tyler Wright’s ill-advised opinions on the latest episode of The Grit! I think you will greatly enjoy.