“Every mummy who just dropped her kid off at school is getting pushed in on a soft top by a surf instructor! It’s a zoo!”
The acutely handsome Hollywood heartthrob Rob Lowe and Kelly Slater, greatest athlete of all time as adjudged by Lowe in an earlier podcast, have hit out at surfing’s sudden explosion with the great unwashed.
In a fairly wide-ranging interview, Kelly gets into a little pool talk, inflatable vests, his favourite films (Willy Wonka and Fast Times at Ridgemont High) and the time he cornered Sean Penn at a party and told him Fast Times at Ridgemont High was the greatest film ever ergo Penn, who played Jeff Spicoli in the 1982 hit, was the greatest actor of all-time.
It gets interesting, and more than a little ironic, when the pair dive into the wild number of people who took up surfing during the COVID epidemic.
Lowe, who is almost sixty and mostly rides a stand-up paddleboard, describes learning to surf when he was forty and entering the Point Dume lineup one year later where he earned the nickname The Honey Badger.
“Honey badger don’t care, honey badger fucking drops in on fucking everybody there now,” growls Lowe. “I’m, like, making up for lost time.”
Slater, fifty-one, is polite enough not to give hell to his kook interlocutor, but speaks pretty eloquently, I think, when it comes to crowds.
“I think once you fall in love with surfing, and if you had a lineage back to surfing before the crowds were big, you’d have a strong opinion about the crowds we have now,” he says. “It’s a different time now for sure. Back then, localism was alive and well back then, no digital era to expose you for kicking someone out of the water.”
Here Lowe, an aged stand-up kook, interjects, “Now you’ll go out and every sorta mummy who just dropped her kid off at school is getting pushed in on a soft top by a surf instructor… it’s just…it’s just…it’s a zoo!”
“It’s a funny thing, right,” says Slater. “A big thing in the world is inclusion of all people and it’s great because every walk of life is out there… but there’s not a real order in a lot of the lineups. People inadvertently going everywhere, taking every wave, not taking their turn. And the most obvious place is Malibu but Malibu’s been crowded since the fifties. The crowds are expanding to all the smaller locations now
“But there is something special in having something to yourself. You go on a hike out in the mountains to a special spot, a waterfall, haven’t been there for five years and you show up and there’s a party for fifty people. How would you feel?”
Lowe, even feistier than when he tooled a sixteen year old in a wild threesome sex tape, turns u the volume, “Indonesia! You’re on a plane, it takes forever. Jet lag. Can’t believe it! Literally seventy people on a peak!”
Essential.
Slater talks like a stupid person who thinks he’s smart.
Prodan to ELO or ELO to Prodan:
“I was cuttin’ the rug down at a place called The Jug
With a girl named Linda Lou
When in walked a man with a gun in his hand
And he was looking for you know who
He said, “Hey there fellow with the hair colored yellow
What you trying to prove?
‘Cause that’s my woman there and I’m a man who cares
And this might be all for you…”
untwist ur tongue and keep going…as:
two one-eyed trouser fishes for half-age dishes and fully aged peaks in totally secluded Paradise Cove but leave to catch what washes ashore at the ‘bu…usually half-age young bitches…but an occasional fully-aged witch.
These guys really think they own the ocean. so high up their asses.
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Lowe is a tiny effeminate who would never have survived the lost era.
Once again, Kelly goes low. Not surprising anymore. Expected, anything for attention.
DR, you can get a piece of that peter pan, but you’d have to deliver to his wife too… package deal.
“lineage of surfing”
I want to spear his lineage on his best wave, he hasn’t caught yet. How does a surfer of Kelly’s caliber sit idly by this douchebag, and Pop top pervy margarita guitar douchebag and not call them on the “surfer” bs?
You could have at least put a reference to the sex tape that made him infamous.
How have Americans let this shitt happen?
Just too in thrall to celebs?
Culture of celebrity spiced by social media.
“spiced by middle-aged white women”*
FIFY
Did anyone else listen to Lost Hills 3rd season on the dark prince of Malibu – Miki Dora. A slick professional podcast which is interesting enough. But the final episode literally turns into a kooks manifesto on how surfing is for everyone. Someone needs to do a deeper dive on the conclusions the narrator came to at the end – total inertia level nonsense! Poor Miki must be dropknee turning in his grave knowing that the Kooks won!
i peeked at her Q&A ov’r at dat station. she’s a living BOT…a virgin spring chicken and Dora’s pushing up daisies.
The podcast landscape is so full of shit these days. There aren’t enough hours in the day to sort through all the pish and maybe discover something good.
Cringe score into the excellent range.
Rob talks to Rob about wave Robbers!
Slater sinking to a new Lowe.