“Embarrassing” Surfer Magazine implies Andy Irons killed by wife

Re-animated corpse of once-proud "Bible of the Sport" does it again.

The reanimated corpse of Surfer Magazine has been ticking right along, embarrassing itself daily. The once-proud title was purchased by The Arena Group as part of an alleged $25 million package a few months ago. Chairman and CEO Ross Levinsohn was extremely bullish on the purchase, citing “synergies” etc.

Surfer immediately hired a young woman who lived in the shadows of Tennessee’s Smokey Mountains to cover the “Sport of Kings.” Emily Morgan enjoyed “strong coffee, spicy food, and live music” alongside hikes with her trusty Pyrnesse-mix. She was let go after leadership realized her home was 20 hours from the nearest beach. And that she didn’t surf.

Undeterred, the editorial chiefs made a decision to simply copy BeachGrit.

But making ultra hard surf candy is not as easy as it looks. Surfer writers poured shame on the memory John Severson early and often.

Now, in the most awkward turn yet, the “bastion of kook” has suggested the great Andy Irons was killed by his wife. Lyndie Irons, last week, posted a moving tribute to her husband on the 13th anniversary of his death. It was beautiful and surf world came together to celebrate.

Surfer awkwardly attempted to join with the headline “Surfing Great Andy Irons Remembered 13 Years After Death by Widow.”

Oops Surfer Magazine Did It Again

Wives do, of course, sometimes murder their husbands. A famous example is Brynn Hartman, who shot the Saturday Night Live legend Phil after a night of boozing. Patrizia Reggiani also hired a hitman to kill her ex-husband Maurizio Gucci. Usually, though, the husband is responsible for the terrible act.

Oscar Pistorius and Paul Snider come immediately to mind.

Lyndie Irons, to set the record straight, did not murder Andy Irons. Someone should maybe deliver the message to Surfer.

Zach Weisberg? Are you busy?

Sam George can you sprinkle some guru magic?