Re-animated corpse of once-proud "Bible of the Sport" does it again.

The reanimated corpse of Surfer Magazine has been ticking right along, embarrassing itself daily. The once-proud title was purchased by The Arena Group as part of an alleged $25 million package a few months ago. Chairman and CEO Ross Levinsohn was extremely bullish on the purchase, citing “synergies” etc.

Surfer immediately hired a young woman who lived in the shadows of Tennessee’s Smokey Mountains to cover the “Sport of Kings.” Emily Morgan enjoyed “strong coffee, spicy food, and live music” alongside hikes with her trusty Pyrnesse-mix. She was let go after leadership realized her home was 20 hours from the nearest beach. And that she didn’t surf.

Undeterred, the editorial chiefs made a decision to simply copy BeachGrit.

But making ultra hard surf candy is not as easy as it looks. Surfer writers poured shame on the memory John Severson early and often.

Now, in the most awkward turn yet, the “bastion of kook” has suggested the great Andy Irons was killed by his wife. Lyndie Irons, last week, posted a moving tribute to her husband on the 13th anniversary of his death. It was beautiful and surf world came together to celebrate.

Surfer awkwardly attempted to join with the headline “Surfing Great Andy Irons Remembered 13 Years After Death by Widow.”

Oops Surfer Magazine Did It Again

Wives do, of course, sometimes murder their husbands. A famous example is Brynn Hartman, who shot the Saturday Night Live legend Phil after a night of boozing. Patrizia Reggiani also hired a hitman to kill her ex-husband Maurizio Gucci. Usually, though, the husband is responsible for the terrible act.

Oscar Pistorius and Paul Snider come immediately to mind.

Lyndie Irons, to set the record straight, did not murder Andy Irons. Someone should maybe deliver the message to Surfer.

Zach Weisberg? Are you busy?

Sam George can you sprinkle some guru magic?

A country superstar and a surf legend walk into a bar...

Days ago, surfers became frustrated when it was revealed that country superstar Jason Aldean had opened a surf-themed burger bar. The cultural appropriation was bad, yes. Pure surfface. Aldean, who was born in Georgia and lives in Nashville, is not a surfer. He did not learn young nor did he become a VAL. He is not a surfer and yet, his burger bar is named “Papa Surf.” It features surf-esque items on the menu like the “Turkey Burger,” named after former World Surf League CEO Erik Logan.

Yes, the cultural appropriation was bad but, worse, surfing already has a Papa Surf.

Barton Lynch.

Now, while Jason Aldean and Lynch come from different political backgrounds, they do share certain opinions regarding, say, the Covid vaccination. Aldean recently sat down with the Los Angeles Times in a wide-ranging interview that covered “over-indexing on straight white dudes,” white privilege and the aforementioned jab.

Jason Aldean and Barton Lynch are Strange Bedfellows

When asked if he had received pharma magic, Aldean answered:

No. I felt like I’m a healthy guy, and this was a vaccine that Trump was pushing at the end of his office and Biden was saying, “Oh, don’t do it — it’s too soon.” Then as soon as Biden gets in: “Everybody get the shot.” [Note: In September 2020, Biden said, “I trust vaccines. I trust scientists. But I don’t trust Donald Trump. And at this point, the American people can’t, either.”] To me it was like, I don’t really know what’s going on here, so I’m just gonna stay away from it. That’s what I decided to do, and I’m very happy with my decision.

If I recall, Lynch was asked not to return to the World Surf League broadcast booth even though he was, by far, the best. At the time, Lynch said, “So a couple weeks ago, just to update you, I reached out to the WSL and offered my services, let them know that I was available for any upcoming events but was unfortunately told that I wasn’t needed this year so I won’t be back, I won’t be commentating this year and, uh, well that’s not altogether to be unexpected, I suppose.”

It was widely rumored that the reason was because Lynch, too, repfused the Pfizer.

And might this completely unforeseen coupling of twin Papa Surfs bring about some sort of utopia?

We’d be remiss to write off.

More as the story develops.

The Hawaii Surfing Association (Maui Chapter) needs you!

There is much heartbreak in the news these days, from Ukraine to Gaza, Congo to Sudan. Much to ping pong attention or even deaden the senses. But we must fight the glazed eyes, the overwhelming inertia, and continue to care, invest, learn.

On that note, the devastating wildfires that consumed Maui in August seem like a lifetime ago. Lives, homes, businesses destroyed in a hot blaze. And while eyes are generally elsewhere these days, the brave residents of that valley isle are busy rebuilding.

But help is still needed.

A impactful letter was delivered, yesterday, by a local who is asking for the surf community to stand and deliver.

On the last two episodes of the Grit, that I have listened to, you guys have spoken about the Israel/ Hamas situation and the devastation and destruction caused by said conflict. I would like to remind everyone that Lahaina still needs help. I moved north to Napili years ago but this is the neighborhood that I used to live in.

The reason that I write is because we still need help here. The Maui chapter of the HSA, our version of the NSSA has been impacted financially by this disaster. Some of their key sponsors simply no longer exist. Being a parent, I can tell you that these kids have been through more than enough. I don’t want to go into specifics, but it has been rough. It honestly breaks my heart to even begin to think that the children of Lahaina could possibly lose anything else. HSA Maui is currently accepting donations to help offset the impact from the fire, If anyone out there wanted to help. If any company out there could become a sponsor, that would help as well.

Moved?

Donate here.