Big-wave world champion Keala Kennelly
takes sledgehammer to World Surf League over fraud, stinginess,
deception!
By Chas Smith
Another nail in the World Surf League coffin.
Keala Kennelly is a multi-hyphenate
trailblazer. The Kauai-born 45-year-old is an actor, a professional surfer, a big
wave world champion, a DJ, an LGBTQ+ icon just to name but a very
few of her talents and accomplishments. She is wildly respected in
the surf world and, thus, the sledgehammer she took to the “global
home of surfing,” yesterday, is significant.
In a four-part to-camera Instagram
series, the platinum blonde declared she would not be
participating in the Jaws event this year. Part due chronic pain,
most due the “stupid” idea of the World Surf League transitioning
the yearly XXL Big Wave Awards to the Big Wave Records Chase as a
way to get out of paying big wave surfers. “The WSL calls
themselves a ‘sports league.’ They are a medium company and what
does a media company need? Attention.”
Keala Kennelly Goes Ham
Kennelly digs into that attention-seeking by bringing up Laura
Enever’s recent controversial Guinness record, covered only and
dutifully here. She goes on to compare a monster wave she caught at
Jaws with Andrea Moller’s Jaws wave, also at Jaws, with Enever’s
outer reef Oahu bear, noting how similar they appear.
She then brings universally beloved Carissa Moore into
the conversation, sharing how far the Olympic gold medalist was
ahead in the rankings before the World Surf League magically
introduced “Finals Day” for “clickbait.”
As a proud and honest click farmer, I felt anger at Kennelly
tarnishing the noble profession with what the World Surf League
produces but carried on nevertheless.
In the last blow she details how the World Surf League keeps its
proprietary wave measuring sauce secret. How the surfers asked for
transparency and were denied.
Math not mathing for her.
I’d imagine much consternation in El Segundo today, the cries of dying
animals drowning out a sinking feeling that the end is
nigh.
But only momentarily.
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Pro surfing in turmoil as John John
Florence openly talks about leaving WSL tour
By Derek Rielly
“The atmosphere has changed a lot. It doesn’t suit
my personality anymore.”
The past year has been a game of picking up clues from
John John Florence, scattered
hither and yon, about the imminence of his
retirement.
A little except from Surf Ads’ thought piece back in July after
John John Florence, who won world titles in 2016 and 2017, posted
his now-legendary “devastating throat punch to the WSL” on
Instagram.
Why bother with the WSL?
John John Florence has done it all. Two time world champion.
Greatest surfer in the world from two to twenty feet. Unmatched
admiration from the surfing universe. Why stay chained to the tour
when it delivers so little to him?
There’s nothing left on the tour for John John Florence. And
with every underscore, every mistimed comp window, every title
decided at 4 foot Trestles, with his little brother and the world
slab tour beckoning, with the carrot of Olympic qualification
dangling for a only a couple more months… the question must be
asked again and again. Why bother with the WSL?
“I think about (quitting) all the time,” says John John
Florence. “It’s hard for me sometimes because my personality
doesn’t fit (competing) so well. And especially the new tour over
the last couple of years, the environment of it has changed a lot.
It doesn’t fit my personality even more so.”
WSL surfer Ricky Basnett doubles down on
“Genocide in Gaza” claims in new interview!
By Derek Rielly
"It’s not fair to call what Hamas is doing as
waging a war on Jews."
Earlier this week, a blizzard of support for the South
African surfer Ricky Basnett after he claimed Israel’s response to
a medieval slaughter of its civilians by the
Iranian-backed forces of its neighbour was genocide.
Ricky Basnett, a seven-time South African champion surfer and
Championship Tour surfer in 2007 and 2008, followed a well-worn
path of progressive surfers towing the line that every damn Israeli
citizen got what they deserved.
These included a reel from Al Jazeera showing Hamas
terrorists landing in Israel in their paragliders and about to
murder hundreds with the caption, “Palestinians in Gaza made
history as they escaped the world’s largest prison”.
“I want to make you all fucking very aware of something. I will
never fucking stand for oppression, hatred, discrimination,” said
Ricky Basnett, the cords on his forehead protruding threateningly.
“I will never fucking back down from my beliefs. I don’t give a
fuck who you are, I will never stand for hate…I want you to know
that this is about eradicating hate…I do not stand for
genocide.”
You can support Hamas and the kidnapping murder rape and
dismemberment of babies all you want. You are parroting the same
old anti semitic tropes I have heard all may life. The same old Jew
hatred that has been around before you and will be around
after.
Support Hamas and be proud of your choice. Initially I
thought you were simply ignorant but now I know that is not the
case. I will not be aligned and support an anti semite, someone who
calls for the destruction of Israel. Certain things in life like
values and human decency are more important than business.
Genocide – do you even know what the word means. 6 million
Jews died in the 1940s. That was genocide.
Your anti semitism is disgusting to me.
Don’t surprise me.
But I like Ricky. Feisty lil man.
So I asked a few questions. He wanted to do it via DM. I
promised I’d run ’em full, no matter how much I disagreed with ’em.
Free speech etc.
Tell me, what is the
breadth of your knowledge of the region. Have you studied the
history and so on?
Ricky Basnett: I’m definitely no expert or analyst but having
lived in South Africa for the end of apartheid and the last few
decades of post apartheid, especially in KZN* which has a massive
Muslim population, it’s impossible not to have heard about
Palestine.
In the last six weeks, I’ve been deepening my education on the
area through watching and reading political and geopolitical
discourse from the last century, and then of course, much like
everyone at the moment, the accounts from the ground in Palestine
over the last six weeks; journalists and independent human rights
watch committees.
Do you believe Hamas hit a legitimate target in their
war against the Jews on October 7?
Self determination: Right to travel, right to vote, right to
self-govern, open borders, no occupation, to live with freedom
equality and dignity
What should happen to Israel, y’think?
The government must face prosecution for the countless war
crimes committed thus far. Beyond that, the state of occupation has
to end.
Do you really believe Israel is committing genocide
against the people of Gaza?
It’s not a matter of personal belief, it’s evidenced every day.
Add to that, the video footage of both Israeli military and Israeli
politicians stating clearly that genocide is their plan. Phrases
like: wipe them off the planet, all gazaan children are terrorists,
burn Gaza to the ground, using a nuke on Gaza is an option etc. All
these are blatant intents of genocide and this is long past up for
debate.
What is your definition of genocide?
I mean there is a global definition of genocide but for me, I’d
say: The systematic process of dehumanization of a group and
stripping of culture and rights, followed by the wide spread
extermination and displacement of a people, based on their
ethnicity. The goal of said genocide is to eradicate said ethnic
group.
This question makes me sick to be honest. How quickly do you
think a population of 2.2 million people can be eradicated? Each
genocide in our recent history has unique components. The genocide
lasted 100 days in ruwanda, and one million people were killed. In
Bosnias genocide, which lasted over 3 years, 8000 people died and
30 000 were displaced. The genocide in Darfur, in two years 200 000
people were killed.
In five weeks, Israel has killed over 12 000 people and
displaced over 1.5 million people. This has been building for 75
years and I would say the international backlash to this genocide
is the only reason right now the place and entire population hasn’t
been wiped off the planet.
I fired off two more questions in response for
clarification.
What would happen in your opinion if Israel opened the borders,
tore down the checkpoints?
And,
Does Israel have a right to exist?
Answers forthcoming, I think.
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Core surfer-snowboarder becomes odds-on
favorite to win heart of “Golden Bachelor!”
By Chas Smith
Hint: Filipe Toledo
If you are not on absolute pins and needles
leading up to the final rose ceremony of the Golden Bachelor then
you, likely, do not have a heartbeat. ABC re-spun its much loved
Bachelor and Bachelorette franchises for geriatrics. Older folk
finding love… again. This year’s single star, Gerry Turner, is a
retired restauranteur from Indiana lookin’ for love in all the old
places. I don’t actually know how he’s going, as I’ve never trusted
men named “Gerry,” though am happy to report that a core
surfer-snowboarder is currently the odds-on favorite to win his
withered hand.
But let us meet Leslie Fhima, a 64-year-old personal trainer
with a need for speed. The two will head into the “Fantasy Suite”
this evening but, it is important to know, Fhima shreds.
World Surf League paralyzed as massive
TikTok audience embraces slain Osama bin Laden
By Chas Smith
He's baaaack.
The World Surf League has not had many wins
during its eight year run as the “global home of surfing” (circa
1976). The then-Association of Surfing Professionals was purchased,
for free, by billionaire Dirk Ziff back in 2015. Then, a wild
bullishness filled the air. Surfing, the first CEO Paul Speaker
declared, would soon be bigger than football.
Alas, one series of goofy mistakes followed another all leading
to a silly unicorn named Erik Logan taking the reins. The Oklahoman
with a magical wetsuit of armor gutted both credibility and
viewership. Surfers revolted, the audience was revolted and
everything turned into a pile of wet mush.
Somehow, in some way, the League grew its Chinese group dance
application to a massive 2.1 million followers. Millions upon
millions of “likes” and “shares” followed. World Surf League Chiefs
of This and World Surf League Chiefs of That sat back in
animalblood-stained
chairs and felt good.
Except.
The Global War on Terror Home of Surfing
That one bit of success is turning very problematic for them
now. TikTokers, you see, are embracing a
letter the slain leader of Al-Qaeda wrote to the
American people some twenty-odd years ago in the thick of the
“global war on terror.”
In his note, Bin Laden writes about how jihad is a form of
worship for Muslims, how the West keeps meddling in Middle Eastern
affairs and how it will continue to be problematic moving forward.
The message is resonating with TikTokers and it is being widely
shared amongst them. The Guardian newspaper, where the
letter first appeared, has even disappeared it off their website,
noting, “The transcript published on our website 20 years ago has
been widely shared on social media without the full context.”
The Guardian became accused of censorship. Others,
then, became aghast,
shocked that young surf group dance enthusiasts are rehabilitating
the mastermind behind 9/11.
While the ideological battle rages, the World Surf League simply
worries its TikTok will be lost, taken away by governmental forces,
and that will be that.
No more Joe Turpel doing hand jives to camera.
No more “trends.”
Sad.
Well, I went to Yemen, post-9/11 to surf those Al-Qaeda waves
and, must say, the World Surf League should have shored up that
audience sooner. Oh not the TikTok one, they are fickle, but the
radical Islamic one. Imagine Finals Day in al-Mukullah instead of
boring ol’ San Clemente.