The Inertia founder Zach Weisberg (insert) mocking an autistic boy. Photo: Atypical
The Inertia founder Zach Weisberg (insert) mocking an autistic boy. Photo: Atypical

Surf website attacks autistic readers for failing to understand joke!

Kicking those on the spectrum a new low for The Inertia.

It is a dangerous and scary world for adult learners. Halloween spooky year ‘round. Those who boldly took up surfing during the pandemic deal with myriad aggressions and micro-aggressions. Grumpy locals eyeballing them, Costco employees muttering “kook” under breath while they are surfboard shopping. Various instagram accounts lurking, waiting to capture them with backward fin set-ups or wetsuits.

Thankfully there is The Inertia. The safe space surf website has long been a comfort for the vulnerable. A place they can mingle amongst the likeminded and be coddled by a sensitive leader who understands them intimately.

You can imagine their horror, then, when Zach Weisberg and his merry band turned werewolf, viciously tearing into the flesh of meek volume enthusiasts.

Safe surf website goes wild

The “definitive voice of surfing” posted a piece titled “Why You Should Rethink That Mid-Length Surfboard Purchase You’re About to Make,” days ago, wherein the contributor listed various reasons why adult learners should steer clear of boards that were trendy three years ago.

“Mid-lengths are for people who never shut their iPhone light off,” the cis-presenting white male wrote. “People who listened to vinyl before it was hip. People who think TikTok is the sound a clock makes. People who still ride potato chips, listen to Bobby Dylan and believe him when he says they’ll be…Forever Young.”

Very hurtful.

The Inertia then shared the piece on social media, punching their community in the teeth with the line “The number of people who can’t spot sarcasm on the internet when they see it in 3..2…”


The Inertia community reacted with predictable sadness, “whoever wrote this is an absolute hot dog” etc., only to get told they didn’t understand sarcasm again and again until one poor fellow declared, “Hey, inertia, there are actually plenty of people on the spectrum that can’t detect sarcasm – including yours truly, half the time. It’s comical to me, but I don’t think it’s funny for everybody.”

The Inertia merely sneered.

Kicking the autistic a new low.

A demanding apology currently in the works.

More as the story develops.

Matthew Perry and his Malibu house
The cute lil shack Matthew Perry lived in for a decade before downsizing to his Sunset Point Beach-adjacent house. | Photo: The MLS

Visit $13 million Malibu shack Matthew Perry sold shortly before drowning in surf-adjacent hot tub

Wander the rooms of the beachfront house Perry offloaded before moving to Sunset Beach Point… 

Two days back, all those over-forties whose formative years were spent thrilling to Matthew Perry’s lovable smart-ass Chandler Bing on Friends, were saddened to hear he’d been found dead in his LA hot tub. 

Shocked, not so much.

Matthew Perry, who was fifty-four, had a real tight relationship with painkillers, snacking on fifty-five Vicodins a day. 

“I would fake back injuries. I would fake migraine headaches. I had eight doctors going at the same time,” Matthew Perry told the NY Times.

“I would wake up and have to get 55 Vicodin that day, and figure out how to do it. When you’re a drug addict, it’s all math. I go to this place, and I need to take three. And then I go to this place, and I’m going to take five because I’m going to be there longer.

“It’s exhausting but you have to do it or you get very, very sick. I wasn’t doing it to feel high or to feel good. I certainly wasn’t a partyer; I just wanted to sit on my couch, take five Vicodin and watch a movie. That was heaven for me. It no longer is.”

Yesterday, we took you on a little stroll through his Sunset Point Beach-adjacent house.

Today, come and wander the rooms of the Malibu house Perry offloaded shortly before moving to the mid-century masterpiece at 18038 Blue Sail Dr, Pacific Palisades. 

Perry bought the two-storey Malibu joint for twelve mill and lived in for a decade before selling for thirteen as he downsized to his final address.

It boasted five-and-a-half-thousand square feet of lebensraum (as Hamas and their ilk like to say), a master bedroom that spanned the width of the beachfront balcony, a jacuzzi (naturally) and movie theatre.

Preferable, I think, to the Blue Sail Drive place.


Surfer killed by fifteen-foot Great White shark at South Australia’s infamous Streaky Bay

Two surfers dead by Great White attack in the area in less than six months.

A surfer has been hit, killed and disappeared by a fifteen-foot Great White at Granites, twenty clicks out of Streaky Bay, South Australia, seven hundred clicks north-west of Adelaide. 

Mainstream media is reporting a man has been “seriously injured” but they ain’t even close. 

The surfer, whose name we can’t release, was waiting for a set out the back at Granites, a long and friendly lefthander, when the Great White attacked, leaving only his board and the stub of his legrope. 

A police investigation is underway, a chopper is flying up and, ostensibly, they’re going to try and locate the Great White. Although, as any shark fisho will tell you, if you want to find the Great White, you gotta get it now, not when it’s a hundred k’s away. 

Earlier in the year, and just a hundred clicks south, local school teacher Simon Baccanello was killed by a Great White while surfing at Walkers Rocks in Elliston.

A brave soul, Baccanello warned others to split as the shark started swimming towards him telling terrified kids in the lineup, “Don’t worry, get yourself to shore”.

Jaiden Millar, a twenty two year old, saw the whole damn thing.

“It was such a confronting incident. It could have been anyone. The worst part was there was a 13-year-old out there and he witnessed everything,” Millar told Adelaide Now. “There was a bloke on the beach tooting his horn and as I turned around I saw everyone paddling in. I saw his board tombstoning, which means he’s underwater and his board’s getting dragged under … trying to fight his way back up to the surface… He was gone. (We) saw the shark just thrashing around out the back. The shark’s obviously let go and come back and got him for a third time”.

Five months ago, the big-wave surfer Justin “Jughead” Allport filmed his own extraordinary encounter with a fifteen-foot Great White in South Australia, although he says the experience will haunt him for the rest of his life.

Jug, who’s forty-nine and a firefighter a couple hours north of Sydney at Bateau Bay, said he’s never seen a shark in the wild before, only dead on the beach. That was a twenty-foot White that had been washed onto the sand of a Victorian west coast beach. His pal and said he thought he could get inside of it for a photo but Jug stopped him warning he’d never be able to wear that wetsuit again.

And, so, when a South Oz local said there were a fleets of Great Whites around and maybe he should take the jet skis out and have a squiz at a few hanging off the tuna pens, he thought, yeah, ‘I wanna go have a look.’

“I’m scared of sharks, yeah, I’m terrified,” says Jug. “But I’d never seen ‘em while surfing and now I’m even more scared of the power, how fast it was. Things hit you when you see one in real life. Everything about it. I know guys who’ve seen Great Whites swim past, how mellow they are, how they don’t get touched, and drone footage of sharks following people, but that thing was so quick, so fast and powerful I shit myself. Anyone who says they’ve been chased by a shark, no you haven’t. If a shark was chasing you, it would eat you. Maybe a shark stalks you, it never chases you.”

New Zealand surfer (left) cursed. Photo: Facebook
New Zealand surfer (left) cursed. Photo: Facebook

New Zealand surfers suffer mightily due heavy blast of Celine Dion!

"Siren Crews" are stalking the Land of the Long White Cloud, making dawn patrol exceedingly difficult.

As any true surfer knows, the early morning is often the best time for waves. The embryonic bird catches the worm, as the saying goes, and so surfers are often up before the sun, waxing boards, loading them into Toyota Hilux SR5 Cruisers and heading to the beach for to make surfing. The winds are often nice, or at least right, in the early morning. The crowds light.

Now, it is difficult to rise and shine in the best of times. Warm beds are like bad partners. They cling and beg, promise and whine even after a full eight hours of sleep. Less than eight hours, they scream and curse. Demanding fulfillment. The true surfer must harness all of his power and fight to leave lest he becomes trapped and abused like Will Smith.

New Zealand surfers, these days, are in the midst of a brutal one.

For the Land of the Long White Cloud is currently experiencing a Celine Dion epidemic. Though are you aware of New Zealand’s “siren battles?” According to reports, rival factions are going to war by attaching the biggest, throatiest loudspeakers to cars and blasting music at full volume all through the night in order to wear the crown of “siren king.”

Siren car. Photo courtesy S.W.A.T. Team
Siren car. Photo courtesy S.W.A.T. Team

Celine Dion sinks surfers

The Canadian songstress’s tunes are particularly popular according to NZ site The Spinoff because “siren king” songs must feature treble rather than bass.

Anita Baker, the mayor of a Porirua, a small town near Wellington, said, “They love Dion because they like anyone with a high pitch and great tone in their voice.”

Surfers, staring at bedside clocks at 2:00 am, knowing they will soon strike 5:30 while Dion belts about her heart going on, sick to stomachs.

Except might the aforementioned surfers find grace in their ongoing hearts for the siren crews? “Basically everyone has a hobby and while our hobby can be quite disturbing and we understand how disturbing it can be,” Paul Lesoa of the S.W.A.T. Team said. “We just want our own proper, safe space away from people to do it.”

Maybe we aren’t so different after all.

If our World Surf League heroes decided to become professional sirens, who do you think would win?

Filipe Toledo still?

Smart money.

Matthew Perry Los Angeles house
The single-level house at 18038 Blue Sail Dr, Pacific Palisades is a pretty, low-slung joint built in 1965 hence its sleek modernist lines. There are four beds, four-and-a-half bathrooms, is around three thousand square feet, and squats on a hunk of grass that slopes gently down to the now infamous hot tub. | Photo: All photos

See inside $6 million Sunset Point Beach-adjacent house of redeemed Friend Matthew Perry

A sleek modernist joint from the sixties that squats on a hunk of grass sloping gently down to the now infamous hot tub.

A lot of chatter, here there and everywhere, about the actor Matthew Perry, who was found dead in his jacuzzi, aged fifty-four, yesterday. 

A surprise to no one who’d seen the funnyman’s descent into a haze of Oxies and booze. Five years ago, same thing, found unresponsive in his jacuzzi. 

Real lucky back then. Perry had surgery, heart stopped beating for five minutes during surgery, his colon burst after docs gave him propofol and he was in a coma for two weeks. But he survived, even if he had to waltz around with a colostomy bag for a year while the colon repaired itself. 

Ain’t no second or third chances, howevs., 

Matthew Perry, who was famous for his portrayal of the sarcastic but vaguely lovable Chandler Bing in the TV series Friends, lived a few clicks from Sunset Point Beach, where VAL-friendly waves refract onto a yellowish stretch of sand. The sorta wave your ol pal DR seeks out now that his hip cartilage has dissolved and the once-simple mechanic of bringing a back foot into position feels like climbing Everest. 

The single-level house at 18038 Blue Sail Dr, Pacific Palisades is a pretty, low-slung joint built in 1965 hence its sleek modernist lines. There are four beds, four-and-a-half bathrooms, is around three thousand square feet, and squats on a hunk of grass that slopes gently down to the now infamous hot tub.

Two of the four bedrooms stare straight into the Pacific, a front row to California’s iconic sunsets. 

Matthew Perry paid six mill for it three years ago and was hit with seventy-one grand in property taxes every year, peanuts for an actor who was still getting three mill a year in syndication residuals.

Front door to Matthew Perry's house