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Thomas J. Lochtefeld (insert) manically laughing as he does Ivanka Trump a "dirty water." Photo: Instagram
Thomas J. Lochtefeld (insert) manically laughing as he does Ivanka Trump a "dirty water." Photo: Instagram

America’s daughter Ivanka Trump viciously embarrassed by surf tank guru Tom Lochtefeld!

"She's riding the red wave."

It is political season in America. That wonderful time of year when nieces refuse to meet with uncles, grandchildren with the elderly over sharp disagreement. While opposing sides once lightly tolerated each other, these days each is busily petitioning Satan to open the gates of hell for the other, begging for front row seats so that nana and auntie can be watched writhing in eternal pain over the principle sin of a wrong vote.

And yet Ivanka Trump.

The former first daughter, now aged 42, is the rare creature that is universally adored. Beautiful, intelligent, a wife that puts the Stepfords to shame, a mother that makes Joan Crawford appear uninvolved. She has no enemies, save one.

Tom Lochetefeld.

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While many assume that Kelly Slater invented the wave pool, the credit should mostly go to Thomas J. Lochtefeld. As Derek Rielly writes, “There’s no bigger name in the wavepool game than San Diego’s Thomas J. Lochtefeld, a former tax lawyer turned water park proprietor turned creator of surf dreams. Lochtefeld got his surf chops threading caves at Big Rock in La Jolla, San Diego, and has spent the last thirty-five years trying to recreate similar thrills at the punch of a button.

Now, you are likely aware of the maestro’s current project in Palm Springs, but did you know he invented the FlowRider?

Again, Derek Rielly:

In 1987, he sold his share in a bunch of theme parks for two million dollars and used that cash, as well the sale of his beachfront joint at La Jolla for 950k to create a standing wave, called Flowrider, that ended up being installed in over 200 joints in thirty-five countries.

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In 1999, the Swiss watch company Swatch toured a souped up version of the Flowrider called Bruticus Maximus and that caused more permanent injuries in one year than Teahupoo in the last thirty, around the world: from Florence to Munich, Vienna, Hanover, Long Beach, San Diego, Manila and Sydney, with Tony Hawke, Kelly Slater, Chris Miller and Terje Haakonsen wowing crowds with a surf, snow, skate combo of airs and tubes.

Re-Enter Ivanka Trump

A nasty tool, no doubt, and now look at Ivanka Trump trying it out, gliding high one moment…

Ivanka trump before.
Ivanka Trump Before.

…brought entirely low the next.

Ivanka trump after.
Ivanka Trump After.

Thomas J. Lochtefeld’s maniacal laugh heard ringing.

The august Page Six declared, “She’s riding the red wave.”

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I don’t think the editors, there, know what that means.

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51 Comments
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Mike

If a wave pool could impersonate Big Rock Ivanka wouldn’t riding. She’s hot for 40, her mom was hot, and Trump is the man. Fuc all you haters. Would you dare lick Chelsea Clintons puss?

Nonagon_Infinity

Shape shifting reptilian

deeks

If she’s going the red wave thing I wannabe out the back guzzling water like Barney skulls beer at Moe’s!

Andy C

“riding the red wave”

or Satan week as I like to call it

Com Turren

Comments are open again, so we can all get back to the insensitivity and casual cruelty.

Com Turren

in other news, Jed Smith has stooped to “global Jewish conspiracy“ levels of antisemitism in the latest ain’t that swell podcast

Jimmy the Saint

Give us the synopsis please

Com Turren

The fact that it’s with special guest Lucy Small (who is all of a sudden some sort of Israeli-Arab relations expert) should tell you everything you need to know, but let’s just say that he starts with peddling the conspiracy theory that October 7th was an inside job that the Israeli government intentionally allowed to happen/helped plan.

Ramathorn

Time to bring back Dirty Water poddy

Barnycle

So what? Everyone knows that to be potentially true anyway. Israel sells hundreds of millions of dollars of surveillance equipment to governments around the world every year and they allow that to happen? Keep ya war opinions to yourself. Don’t come here to cry about how Jed hurt your fee fees.

Com Turren

“Keep ya war opinions to yourself”—says the guy who literally just provided a war opinion😂😂😂

NEGATRON

No. Big brother antics,They contact us to take it anything down.

notsurfingtoday

Hey Chas, have you heard of Tahitigate? Its like, so very much adjacent.

https://bnn.network/politic…

Sean Connery

That’s food for thought

Barrelled

Have to agree with that. Probably should have closed the Makani Alexander one too (article and comments) given that it was absolutely chock full of errors and idiotic comments.

Com Turren

we could’ve shared what our favorite dildos are though

JohnsKnees

The slideshow looks like a photo recap of the 2020 election

Sean Connery

I would have waited till her husband gave it a go to put it in Bruticus Maximus mode. That guys a tool.

astro

God, I remember some of those interviews he did defending Trumpy when he was a spokesperson.
He can lie like a motherfucker. Truly impressive.

NEGATRON

Was a good listen.
https://podcasts.apple.com/…

c4

We’re going to hear enough from him and all those other slugs like Kelly Ann Conway etc in the next twelve months. Scary.

JoJo the Dog Faced Boy

Propaganda Barbie wears a crucifix

Barrelled

When are you going to close comments on this one, ala Stab?

Chas Smith

What did Stab close comments on?

Barrelled

They actually just tend to delete comments they don’t like. Can’t recall seeing a comments closed anywhere except BG. What gives?

NEGATRON

I changed to a new browser last night, so might’ve bumped something accidentally . I could look into it but I’m pretty busy just don’t care enough really. So let’s put it down to the BG shutting down free speech.

Barrelled

Likely excuse, HA! So who are the other BG mods? I assumed Gorilla was a mod but doesn’t seem to be given his questioning the closed comments thing.

NEGATRON

The other Mods are Rupert Murdoch and one of Nathan Rothchilds great great Grandkids. Can’t say his name as we’ve got a date night planned on Epsteins Island.

Picard Madeoff

Say it isn’t so! I come to BG to express my true feelings and twisted rhetoric that won’t fly on FT or WSJ.

Com Turren

The Sasha Jane Lowerson article

tim_nelsen

ISA is Live somewhere in SoAmerican!

non-sequitar from 2012 ‘view w/ ISA Prez Aguerre on running contests:

“Lots of planning and hard work. First of all, we need to find local
individuals and organizations that have a principled and professional
way of doing things. Then we involve the local private and public
sectors. If properly managed, visiting surfers could add lots of value
to local economy and cultures. Nothing is all good or all bad. A knife
could be great when having dinner, or could be used to commit a crime.
The knife is not bad or good. The intentions and actions of the person
using the knife is what could be bad or good.”

J H

The pinnacle of modern plastic surgery is Ashlee Simpson.

She was cute before she got her nose done and became a knock out afterwards.

Sean Connery

As scientists continue the age-old debate of what came first, the chicken or the egg, Jessica Simpson has discovered the answer to a question as equally puzzling — at least for her. Is Chicken of the Sea chicken or tuna?

J H

Poor thing…she isn’t very bright.

Fortunately for us…she’s hot.

Even when she was…big.

Sean Connery

Tiggle Bitties

Picard Madeoff

I find this thread horribly offensive as you choose to objectify and drag that poor woman! And yet not one of you heathens has suggested a threesome with her and Jessica…which was my first thought upon looking at her IG pics a few mins ago.

Filthy pigs all of you, but you’re my pigs!

tim_nelsen

“As always, BG offers fair and unbalanced political coverage…” Tucker C.
“Buy the ticket, take the ride…” HST
“You didn’t build that…” Barack O
“And…we also do tax preparation…” T. Lochtefield
“What’s Page Six?” Dane
“Here’s Big Rock…” (Photo courtesy of S. George)

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/IHRf…

J H

I was a Page Six fan before they sold out.

tim_nelsen

i know right? every media outlet has fascinating headlines…”he said, she said…”

Picard Madeoff

I live by the wisdom of HST and thanksgiving night, after the in laws left, took me to the edge of being out of control

tim_nelsen

steely dan weekend? https://photographs.ventura…

Picard Madeoff

That pic reminds of a lost weekend spent in Yelapa while in college. The tripping was out of control!

tim_nelsen

Hi Dave:

Spoke with Dan the other night and have been in e-mail contact with Phil, after seeing he and Angela play at the M’ Grill in June 07. 

Phil and I are the same age, but spent time with Dan in Mexico on a Mira Costa-sponsored surf trek with Art Balbini, the mechanics teacher in ’73.

As an avid fanatic of all things rock and roll, and watching the Benoit family…develop, I am overwhelmed by your lil’ brother’s talents. Your family introduced me to jazz: I played guitar with Bob (Guild 500), Dan (uekelele) and Phil (harmonica) on a jam of “Moondance” in the HB Longfellow beach pad. Fittingly, you may or may not have been there on keyboard.

Phil gave me a copy of “A Man & A Women” and played “Stella by Starlight” to Dan last Wednesday via telephone. Dan sent me a Valentine Day’s e-mail the next day. What a geek!

Anyway, just want to thank the entire B-family, for contributing to the musical art world, and for the localized role that all the MCHS bro’s played in mentoring each other. While some of you became professional surfers/sailors/muscians, or for me, an environmental engineer, I am still amazed at the power of music, and the dedication required to play ANY instrument.

I don’t believe Neil Young’s statement (misquoted or not thru the Drudge report) that music doesn’t make a difference anymore. Music is the difference!

Much less raise a family, be part of a family. Your PhD-U(SC)CLA psychologist parents are a testament to HIGHER education, liberal or what-not.

When Phil asked me on Maui: “Nelly, do you have request?”

I shouted out: “My Favorite Things.” Dave: his guitar equaled Coltrane’s horn, with less wind. Angela’s vocals made up for that!

After the show I told Phil and Angela I was proud of them.

Your folks would tell all of you bro’s the very same thing.

Best to you and yours. And thank for your dedication to family and friends. Nellie.

Picard Madeoff

Can you diagram this for me?

tim_nelsen

PM: Coltrane while under the influence rocked our worlds. While we were also under the substance. Also Moondance. I can’t play a lick of guitar, until I had to…Proud to be your fiend. Need more dope!

Picard Madeoff

Man I think we are at the age where less dope is the right thing to do. Talk me out of this position!

Beef & Beer

I sure hope she wasn’t hurt in her fall.

FTL’S new ‘Fluffy Tank Liners’ to the rescue…

tim_nelsen

stay tuned. we’ll be right back. after this gulp from red bulz. FTL

Barrelled

Is that Lochtefeld or Larry David?

Stick man

Petite lil thing… but I’d beat!

tim_nelsen

no ben-wa balls were lost?


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