"Pervasive ugliness."
Of all surfing’s many bastards, including foil, boogie, wake and knee, standup paddleboarding is, by far and away, the most hated. Any time a man, or woman, strokes into the lineup, standing up, paddling, the mood instantly darkens. Surfers scowl. Prepare to snap. Ugliness spreads and happiness only returns if/when the plague is removed via unexpectedly large closeout.
The SUPer is, almost always, completely unaware, which is why he or she chose the abomination to begin with. Some famous participants are disgraced former World Surf League CEO Erik Logan, probably ex-congressman George Santos and now richest man on earth Jeff Bezos.
As you are certainly aware, the Amazon chief recently moved from Seattle to Miami. He docked his largest yacht on earth there and has been practicing the Fetish of Fools whilst out on the waters.
Watch as he awkwardly dips his paddle.
Nasty, nasty, nasty.
But if Jeff Bezos decided to leave the safety of intercostal waterways and make his way to your lineup, how would you greet him?
What if his fiancé Lauren Sanchez and SUPing security detail were with him?
Thought so.
reno’s on the wall. bezo’s is no reno~ (EOS) pandora/thefixx/red skies then secret separation…
https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx….
True, but many are half broken surfers, that can’t be fucked getting back into proper shape.
Luckily Bezos was not SUPping in the Bahamas where an unfortunate young lady became SUPper for a man in a grey suit.
Same day as the Jalisco attack.
Bozo knows the future is surfing and he’s just paddling his way toward it. Not all that convincingly though. Skill by pass.
This guy made it so I rarely have to go out in public to buy anything. I will give him a pass if he stays in the lagoon.
Imagine if the WSL dropped their little sandwich maker squad, and ran the contest proper!?? AND,….and of course brought back these….
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
I reckon we all took it for granted at the time
George Santos is standup paddling the Cameo lineup now. Remember when pro surfers paddled into the Cameo lineup? Gosh, that was a funny run of articles.
Incidentally, if pro surfers are on Cameo, and George Santos is a standup paddler on Cameo, does that make George Santos a pro surfer too?
So, what is Cameo? I’m a bit ignorant in many ways.
You can pay him two hundred dollars to make a video saying whatever you want. Usually a message to someone you know.
Who wants to go in on a message from Otto to Biden saying “I love you Mr. President”?
Don’t think he’d do it for two hundred.
No way. Otto is a man with principles. Fucked principles.
So it costs 300?
Shouldn’t you be at a pro-Hamas rally demanding murdered Israeli women provide witness testimony that they were violently sexually assaulted.
Almost definitely.
Sounds like you’re just conflicted whether to wear your keffiyeh, or your hijab.
OMG, it DOES!
Not with that response. You’re definitely Hijab n’ Heels, all night n’ day
https://beachgrit.com/2019/…
Was going to get you a personalized message from him for Christmas.
What’s stopping you?
My favourite experience was seeing an SUP face plant the reef at Speedies after paddling on everyones inside. Lots of sniggers at the Bobby’s dining area that night watching him try to eat without all his teeth.
Last place a SUP should ever be is at Speedies when its on. Kongs and Mon(k)ey Trees maybe as those waves suck.
Agreed although those cunts shouldn’t go anywhere other than in the harbour. And it was firing but admittedly he ripped (apparently the Japanese champ SUP at the time), which heightened the schadenfreude for everyone actually surfing.
Ill one up you Chas, how about Jeff Bezos hydro foiling while in a wedding dress?
https://cubaenmiami.b-cdn.n…
I would think foils are more hated than SUPs in the lineup, definitely far more dangerous.
Its a moot but good point since they are both abominations that deserve painful deaths themselves.
I believe we can all come together in agreement that SUP foils are the worst.
That ain’t Bezos and that ain’t Sanchez.