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Chas Smith Hates Surf Skates

"No phenomenon is so tainted nor so ugly as the surf skate phenomenon…"

In his latest effort to salvage what might remain of modern surf culture from the vulnerable adult learner and websites pandering to the sport’s wreckers, Chas Smith attacks the curious phenomenon of “surf skates.”

They are skateboard-esque devices designed to mimic the feeling and movement of surfing on land, characterized by a special front truck that allows for tighter turns and more fluid carving, enabling riders to pump surf skates to generate speed without pushing off the ground.

As any new surfer will tell you,

People ride surf skates for a variety of reasons, but mostly because it’s as fun and unique way to experience the feeling of surfing on land. It’s a great way to practice and improve your surfing skills, even when the waves are flat or you’re far from the ocean.

Another reason people ride ’em is for the pure enjoyment of it. The smooth, flowing motion and tight turns provide a sense of freedom and excitement that’s hard to find in other sports. Plus, it’s a great way to stay active and get some exercise while having a blast.

There are many surf skate communities around the world, and joining one can be a great way to make new friends and share tips and tricks.

In short, people ride surf skates because it’s a fun, challenging, and rewarding way to experience the thrill of surfing on land.

“No phenomena is so tainted nor so ugly as the phenomena of surf skates where we have fully capable men and women wiggling down streets, wiggling down sidewalks,” says Smith. “I don’t know where it came from and I don’t know where it’s going. But it is here now and, of course, The Inertia has reviewed the best of them. Shall we read?”

Chas Smith Hates Surf Skates
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44 Comments
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No Feelings

I like them. They’re fun.

I never thought they felt just like surfing. It’s more like, I would be on a longboard skate and it was just lame to push like a little kid on the sidewalk. I felt like, “Man, this thing should pump better.” I never thought about trying to learn surf skills, since I first surfed a shortboard in 1983. There’s not much I could learn from the limited stuff you can do on a Carver. It’s just fun, when a regular longboard is a drag and a modern popsicle stick with rock hard wheels is just frustrating.

Regular longboard skates are the worst at living up to their promise IMO. I have gone downhill on long roads, but I quickly realized I was playing Russian roulette with driveways and drivers. On flat ground, they’re just kinda dumb.

Fig Jam
tim_nelsen

will never pass up a chance to yell “sidewalk surfers” at groms skating by…responses vary depending on age, color, and religious affinity…also, at the height of the panpanic, one cali town filled the local skatepark with sand…the City hates skate-boarding!

Leosurf1

E Bikes are the real villain. It isn’t surf skates eroding the soul of our sport.

Samuel Flint

I had to reset my password twice, select only images with cars in them three times and click accept on some probably wildly draconian terms/conditions in order to leave this comment:

Wildly uncharismatic.

deeks

You’ve used “wildly” twice….NEXT

Samuel Flint

I felt wild

tim_nelsen

wild thing…i think you’re groovy!

Samuel Flint

Also, maybe if chas drank as many gins and sodas as i did before creating content he’d be more interesting

Gil Gunderson

Do they make SUP skates?

Abscessed Llama

Working on a knee board skate prototype in the old garage. Uses three trucks..

tim_nelsen

nope. you’ll still sit on it and use you’re Buster Brown’s heals as brakes…

No Feelings

Yes. I had one for a while. They’re fun in some circumstances. I would much rather land paddle a 47″ longboard long distance, than push it for 5 miles with my foot. You can get some speed and carve around on flat ground, pretty well.

I SUP down whitewater rivers. That’s a blast, kind of like longboarding for an hour or two without having to paddle back out.

Using a land paddle on a bike path isn’t the same, just like a Carver board, which is fun, isn’t surfing.

Beef & Beer

A good 30 yrs ago a mate had a similar thing called a ‘snake board’.
It was lame as all fuck, but luckily he didn’t have it long before someone (with the mates best interests at heart) threw it off the Tallebudgera bridge..

Ramathorn

Had one of those in the mid 90’s. Ran bike tube straps on it to do jumps. Probably influenced Laird

Piskian

They’re still very much the thing here in the Far East.
Called J boards.
Lethal.

munnstrosity

Surfskates are for those who suck at surfing and skateboarding ansd want to flambouyantly show this to everyone on public sidewalks near beaches. Peak retard.

Barrelled

Anyone who watches these moronic videos must hate themselves.

Michael Flatlately

I’m enjoying them and they’ve made me feel like I might’ve had Chas wrong all this time. I’m considering re-reading Welcome To Paradise to see if I might now think it’s not garbage. And yes, I hate myself.

Coyote Belly

Welcome To Paradise was good. Everything Chas has touched since has turned to poo.

Happy Camper

wiggle stix are not favorable to skaters that push mongo.
therefore I will not partake

Barrelled

Pushing mongo is harder than surfing switch.

Stick man

Chase Smith Skates Surfing

tim_nelsen
deeks

You’ve got snow plows,whatta bout a surf/skate plow?

KRIS

… or a prone surfskate for fuckwits, er um … boogie boarders, that can spin and roll and … weeeeeeeeeeee

The Bitchy Crab

Jen I forgot to reply to your email! Was too excited over imminent story, sat by window, rose wilting in lapel. No story arrived.

JOB's second chin

Old conservative man hates new thing children enjoy, more as this story develops.

The Bitchy Crab

I think surf skates very much for old people.

JOB's second chin

I didn’t specify which age the children were

Mochillupo

Ya just know ELO is wiggling and spraying shakkas somewhere

Com Turren

idk, I had bicep surgery a couple years back and was out of the water for 6 months. Wiggling around my driveway on a surf skate and the BG commentariat were the only things motivating me to do all that physical therapy so that I could be able to paddle out again.

Cuntry Singer

Correct. For this old cunt, if a snowboarding hurrah is on horizons driveway wiggling is great way to wake up an old chassis for Mammoth.

tim_nelsen

from the precipice of Scotty’s Run…three speed turns and a quick exit at Warming Hut #2. Skating taught me to ski. Threw away the skate wheels nailed into a 2X4s and quit both ‘sports’…

Snowbored

I would say that riding fat bikes in snow is even worse

No Feelings

I like mountain biking, even if it hasn’t always been kind to me. But the moment I can use a board, I don’t understand why anyone would ride a bike.

https://youtube.com/watch?v…

AI (for ever) .

Can kittens eat cooked or uncooked bones?
Asking for, eh, a kitten

Waxingfitzgibbous

Kittens are best eaten deboned, definitely cooked

Piskian

Ate cat noodles in,of all places, Kathmandu.
Bloke kept insisting,’Is chicken!Is chicken!’.
Ginger fur sticking to side of bowl was the giveaway.

tim_nelsen

I hate nip!

Andy C

Jacob “Zeke” Szekely is gunna bash ya for this one cunt

The Bitchy Crab

He likes them? And a very little man, no?

Andy C

Blokes cooked, must’ve really had is mud button reamed in Juvie

Barrelled

Cooked or coked?


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