John John Florence are you there? It's me, Nathan.
I’ve been calling it for months now. This is the last season of this current iteration of professional surfing known as the World Surf League which was founded in 1976 circa 2015. Publishing nepo babillonaire Dirk Ziff purchased the Association of Surfing Professionals for free during President Barack Obama’s last year in office, rebranded the show World Surf League under former NFL exec Paul Speaker and promised it would soon be the biggest sport on earth.
Ziff, who co-won Waterperson of the Year in 2018 and was still high on his tax write-off supply, then excoriated “haters” by declaring, “But don’t pretend you don’t know that when you go beyond constructive criticism and cynically try to rally negative sentiment towards the WSL, when you try to take us down, you are not just going after us. You are going after Kelly Slater. You are trying to take down Lakey Peterson. You are going after the dreams of Caroline Marks and Griffin Colapinto. You are undermining the hopes of every kid who lives with salt in their hair, dreaming of being a world champion one day.”
Well, the dreams of Carissa Moore, Stephanie Gilmore and Filipe Toledo have all ended, or been put on pause, in a whirlwind one-month span.
Each champion at, or near, prime.
All now gone.
Every one, save maybe Toledo, due World Surf League incompetence.
Him, let’s be honest, too (see: poo-poo touch, reimagined final’s format).
What to make of that but, more importantly, who’s next?
Toledo’s dip certainly opens the door to a potential world title for someone else, but has the cup become so devalued under Ziff’s rein that it is, essentially, meaningless?
John John Florence is the odds on favorite to flee and would that be enough to actually sink the “global home of surfing” before it sells to Saudi Arabia?
More on that hot rumor later, also why Kelly Slater is the odds off favorite to jump ship.
Who you got, in any case?
A prop bet funner than Taylor Swift.
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Him and Mason, all head
Just because you don’t like the promoter doesn’t mean you don’t like the band.
So we are down 8 + 5 + 2 world titles. Then JJF makes it to 17 if you are correct. Add in 11 for the GOAT (Chas thinks he never wins another heat) and we are seeing 28 titles gone. Maybe Gab should stay around a while.
How can the wall of positive noise spin this one?
Yeah, Kolohe absolutely fucking rips. It seems impossible how fast he surfs. And like many other pros, he doesn’t paddle around you and take every goddamn wave, seems content to share the lineup.
He’s past his time for pro titles, but I think it was his head more than anything else that was his problem, not his surfing
Alex Jones says he doesn’t make predictions,he just reads the news.
Totally right about WSL incompetence killing off Pip. I’m pretty convinced that it’s his winning world titles at Trestles while being called out for not charging that has made Pip’s fear of Teahupo’o and the Box metastasize into something bigger and uglier.
I’m glad he isn’t going to be champ this year, and we don’t have to watch the farce of him not surfing Chops and Cloudbreak, but I’m also pissed that we don’t get to see him surf this year tbh. The dude rips harder than anyone atm. He just doesn’t charge.
Don’t forget Slater retiring in the 90’s, or the pleistocene era, or whenever that was, clearly in protest of future WSL changes. Remember, Medina stepped away for a year too (shame WSL). Think about all those partial years JJF surfed… Also clearly a sign that something is wrong with the WSL, and obviously having nothing to do with him or the other surfers who have decided to step away.
But what if Slater does finally retire? What a gigantic WSL failure that would be. Once again a sign that BG’s really on to something with all those years of criticism. The negative wall of noise interpretation of all these events would definitely not be a sign Chas Smiths confirmation bias either.
Time has caught up with Kelly and if it wasn’t for the vainglorious olympic dream he was chasing, he should have retired after Pipe two years ago.
I mean it’s a shame because pre-baldness Kelly was the most amazing surfer ever and I think we have forgotten just how far ahead he was. Too bad he turned into a bitter old sourpus who didn’t get rich off making his own surf brand.
Blind freddy can see that the WSL is going to go tits up at the end of this year. They get nothing but bad publicity from all angles. I dare say the only reason it hasn’t sold yet is Dirk is hoping for the Olympics to have epic surf and he can sell it on the back of that.
Has the World Tour ever been profitable? In the heyday 2k’s when there was still big money in surfing, I thought the tour was just a write for the brands backing it. Seems like it’s been “tits up” it’s entire history.
Hard to make money beyond some sponsor $ when everything’s free. How much were tickets to the Super Bowl? I’ve been to the Finals, which were absolutely free, with lots of free events surrounding the Finals, even free beer at some of those events. Pretty great price if ya ask me.
Wild seeing people constantly complaining about this or that. Seems like the tour stays afloat on intense, all pervasive Surfer Entitlement. We believe it should exist, so it does! LOL. Thanks Ziff, the WSL still has at least one fan, LOL. To be fair, NFL comment sections are filled with constant complaints too. Maybe rabid complaining fans is a healthy sign of engagement for a sports league.
Maybe in a handful of boom years it made money (?) but it was always just a vehicle for the big three to lord it over each other and occasional weird sponsorship deals like marui or coke.
I actually love going to bells every year but pro surfings been run by the clueless ever since the WSL rebranding fiasco.
Definitely think no criticism would be a worse sign for the WSL than an engaged and pissed off core. As both a lifelong surfer and big sports fan who attends quite a few NFL/MLB/bball games, just seems really hard to compare WSL to other sports leagues. For one thing, a huge chunk of the WSL’s fans are actually out in the water surfing a pretty large percentage of the time, in many cases at the same spots on the WCT. Just gives it a different feel when you actually have experienced what it’s like to surf these spots – 99.9% of fans of other mainstream pro sports have never stepped foot on a field/court during a game and don’t really have a feel for what it’s like. Surfers have a different connection to what the WSL is doing. Maybe (most assuredly) you haven’t surfed the spot as well as the top pros, but you’ve been out there, you’ve ridden the wave, you know how much one spot tests skills vs another, etc. Big Pipe and big Chopes might be the lone exceptions where fewer people have experienced it, but even those spots are ridden by regular Joes on every swell. Just gives it a different vibe, which is good, and which is why the WSL shouldn’t fuck it up.
Good points. I think a lot of the criticism I see comes off like a wall of negative noise though. Criticisms which don’t explore other perspectives. There’s typically not much push back to the dominant negative narratives in surfing.
For example the hate of the current format. On the Grit pod (which I try to listen to about once every 6 months, til I’m reminded it’s just the same broken record), for years they’d constantly complain about to many surfers on tour. Then the WSL creates the mid season cut, and there’s no acknowledgement that that creates less surfers on tour. The Final itself, even less surfers… I personally like longer contests. Having more people on tour means more guys for the top level surfers to smoke in their heats. More moments for magic to happen.
I get tired of the repetitive negative narratives that get almost no push back. The final’s criticisms of Trestles, “it’s not a heavy wave”, well every person there still has to compete in heavy surf to get there (sure you can be so dominant in other waves that your bad contests can be Pipe and Chopes but those contests still count towards getting people into the Finals. Robo’s used heavy wave results to make it to the Finals 2 years in row). In the Finals you’re getting the top 5 men’s and women’s surfers across all the waves on tour. Sure Felipe didn’t do good at the heavier waves, (he still got shacked on a couple bombs in the heat he lost, after his big 0 heat against Slater and Hedge). Also Trestles is a known quantity. Is it a user friendly wave, yep. Which is why surfers need to turn it up a notch to win there. Carissa’s safety surfing and great ocean sense can smoke most people year round on tour, but in a World Championship you can’t afford to simply do that. Look at Steph the year she won, she knew she had to go above and beyond and she did. Look at Gabby’s win against Felipe the first year of the Finals. A f$&king backflip, a huge frontside air over a section. He left no room for doubt that he was World Champ. Even Felipe’s Wins he turned it up a notch.
I remember in a press conference before the Finals Kanoa was in, he proclaimed with an arrogant teenage vibe “Trestles is such an easy wave it almost makes you jaded”. Well, Kanoa got smoked on that easy wave. Other surfers have bombed in the Finals too.
Criticisms good, healthy even. But when it’s just a wall of negative noise that drowns out or never explores other legitimate perspectives it becomes boring, dull, bs in my book. I’m just tired of the Tribal blindness that permeates everything in the U.S. right now.
Criticism can be good but it’s best when it goes both ways. I just want to see honest debate.
agree re tribal blindness across the board. Definitely a problem, if you can solve that you get to be king.
On Trestles, true that some surfers have risen to occasion and surfed it spectacularly well. But also remains true that if you are going to make the world title a one day event, picking the softest wave on tour is not the best test.
He needs to put in a visit to the in-laws, so out after Aus maybe?
I’d say Florence after baby is born.
Could be a new support-the-family energy though
Kelly won’t retire, he will wait until it’s mathematically impossible to make the cut and then injure his foot again.
long overdue I’d say
I think he cares. Kid though, maybe.
I’d say in this year. Next year, sketchy. Kid and all.
Yeah. I reckon one last shot, then kid raising/clip gathering time.
Red Bull- Rebel, & Real Dream tour.
12 stops. 20 Men & 20 Women.
Sunset
Snapper
Bells
Indo triple header/leaderboard leg – remote & mobile best 3 days at Gland, HT’s or Nias & Greenbush June/July
Trestles
Jbay
France/Portugal alt years
Brazil (Mobile Comp)
Cloudy
Chopes
Pipe
**Edit** wildcards crowd voted based on Youtube submissions from fucken anyone!
Qualifying Series as is.
Shane Dorian & Lisa Anderson as Co-CEO’s
Kelly Comp Director
Boom.
Only thing I would change is Shane Dorian.
Fair call. Can be anyone legit that knows what a good tour should be and how to business.
Yeah the other Shane isn’t good for this. You want Kieran Perrow
EDIT/UPDATE: WSL already have KP on staff as a consultant. Dammit KP why haven’t you sorted this shit out already?
Wouldn’t you put Sunset at the end of the year?
Nah. Like Hawaii bookending both sides. Plus could have Haleiwa as the QS stop and bring back the Triple crown – but across the whole Hawaii season and not crammed into Dec
Fuck,the temporary fencing mob are gunna make a fortune off that . Nice
AJ, Rosie and who else in the booth?
Ron Dog!!
Ken oath!
Fixing the schedule is the easy part. Real question is not how to make the tour better but how to make it cheaper or better funded without making it shittier. I like the idea of starting with fewer people and not having a mid-season cut though
I’m going to beat this drum until it breaks:
Strider would be a top-notch WSL higher up. It’s easy to see him as goofy, but he’s a white guy from Los Angeles – thousands with his personality running all kinds of big successful organizations.
My favorite part of when Strider ascends will be the purge of all of those on his list.
Kelly will be too easily distracted by his GOAT status in epidemiological matters.
trestles is the first event, launching in mid-summer…
pipeline is held in December…
work all other spots around and in between…
Remember when we used to complain about pretty much this exact schedule?!
Some good ideas. Made some edits:
“The No Wannabee f*cken tennis tour Rebel Tour”
20 Men & 20 Women.
Invitation Only. 15 Invited surfers. Final 5 surfers qualify via pre recorded surf offs in pumping surf
10 Events.
1. Sunset
2. Snapper
3. Indo roving event Gland, HT’s, Nias, Greenbush, Keramas (Changes every season)
4. Barra De La Cruz
5. Lower Trestles
6. Jbay
7. France/Portugal alt years
8. Cloudbreak
9. Chopes
10. Pipe
*1.5 Points for Cloudbreak, Chopes and Pipe (waves of truth)
Wildcards crowd voted based on Youtube submissions
Kelly & Lisa Anderson as Co-CEO’s
Dane Reynolds and Bobby Martinez Contest Directors
Strider, Ronny, BL, Laura E Commentators
All judges remote
No grandstands, locker rooms, huge contest sites. Just the best surfers in the best waves
No way. With Pip out, he’s a shot to win at Trestles.
JJF will not win at Trestles. He has as much of a shot as Carissa to win there.
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Probably.
Finishing the year having the baby will keep him till the end then off into the sunset riding different waves different shapers and board designs. At least that’s one story floating above the palm trees. Won’t step on Nathan’s gig he will do his own that is unique.
Think he is part owner in Pyzel.. and Loyal!
I think they have a lot to benefit from working together like in these last uploads of Nathan in the Solomon Islands (or wherever the hell they were). John brings the numbers and his unbelievable ability, Nathan brings the rawness, the ability to connect (directly and indirectly) with the audience, as well as a good sense of humor. Throw Ivan in the mix and you have a best seller.
Would be great if Jordy took his massive ego and tiny nipple gap and fucked right off into the sunset
Ramzi jumps before being pushed at Margs, also known as the Box Cutter.
Only on the women’s side of the draw.
Local Mental Health Clinic replaces WSL as the home of the world’s best surfers.
Psychiatrists replacing surf coaches.
If only they knew the mental health benefits of trolling on Disqus
Psyched!
I just finished watching a doco on Mary Tyler Moore on HBO. The chick was once the most popular tv star in ‘murica. Think Jennifer aniston in Friends.
Her show (Dick Van Dyke show) ended and she went to Broadway to play Holly Golightky in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. A complete bust. Critical failure. Career in the toilet for years.
Yet she came back to be the most loved tv actress with the MTM show, by showing heart, grit and talent. Amazing. After another period of success she lost her son in tragic circumstances. But she came back.
Let’s support our stars to be better than who they were yesteryear, or last year, and help them to find a place in the sun. Wishing all of them all of the best to come.
Internet tech for the positive win.
new BG tagline in there surely
I’m here to kick through the ashes.
I love it, but gotta say this was the most random BG comment ever. Congrats on bringing it home though. Well done.