Surfing center stage in scurvy Noah Cyrus x mother Tish Cyrus love swamp!

The sport of kings delivers another hammer.

Let’s all sit back, for a moment, and reflect on what surfing has given us. Moments of solitary joy. An excuse to adventure. Friendships. Vitamin D. A respite, sanctuary, lifelong windmill at which to tilt. A window for us to encounter things we never otherwise would have encountered thus giving us elevated conversation games at office parties and/or family gatherings and/or app-based dates.

Enter Tish Cyrus and her daughter Noah who are part of the very famous, though currently broken, family that also includes Billy Ray and Miley (not to be confused with Miley-Dyer). Even the most “I-don’t-care-about-anything-I-just-surf-and-nothing-else” amongst us knows Billy Ray’s 1992 country smash Achy-Breaky Heart and daughter Miley’s turn as Hannah Montana.

Well, Miley, of course, went on to even greater fame as a pop sensation. Sister Noah was following in her footsteps though seemed to get lightly derailed somewhere along the way and now whispers are flickering that matriarch Tish swooped on Noah’s then-boyfriend, Australian actor Dom Purcell, and married him.

Billy Ray and Tish became divorced last April after 30+ years of matrimony.

Miley is not speaking with her father.

Noah is not speaking with her mother.

Dom is rinsing it all off with a “bleak and choppy” surf at Malibu.

Per TMZ:

Dominic Purcell — the former ‘Prison Break’ star, who’s now married to Tish — went surfing Thursday out in Malibu, CA … where it was just him and his board as he caught some waves and enjoyed a little solo time out in the ocean during a gloomy day.

The pics are pretty cool … Dom seems to know what he’s doing out there, looking like a fairly seasoned surfer and not a kook (beginner) — at least that’s what we can glean.

(Examine evidence for yourself here)

In any case, the relationship timeline is all murky as to when Tish and Dom actually began their amorous dalliance, all evidence pointing to when Noah and Dom were itemized, and what a scurvy love swamp.

While you may think “who cares,” you won’t be thinking that after dropping the goss to your Hinge date, her batting her eyelashes in return at what a worldly and broadly intelligent fella you are.

Thanks, once again, surfing.