Matthew McConaughey and John John Florence.
Matthew McConaughey and John John Florence recreate the Slater-Machado paw-swipe from 1995.

Matthew McConaughey and John John Florence recreate greatest moment in surf history at Kelly Slater Surf Ranch!

"Magic carpets."

In the Hawaiian winter of 1995, the two world title combatants Rob Machado and Kelly Slater called a momentary truce in their crucial semi-final when the pair slapped palms after a Machado tube. 

Of course, cynics were quick to claim that Kelly Slater swiped at Machado’s paw to force his opponent to stay on the wave longer than necessary and lose priority and, therefore, the world title. 

I was there on the beach, as it happened, and it felt as if Slater was a cat carrying a dead bird in its mouth, eating his prey slowly, then licking himself clean. 

Fast forward almost thirty years and we find the Hollywood hunk Matthew McConaughey, who stunned surf fans last September with an inspirational speech to Griffin Colapinto prior to the kid’s world title showdown with Filipe Toledo and which contained a still-unexplained prophecy, recreating the famous event at the Kelly Slater Surf Ranch.

In a two-shot sequence posted on Matthew McConaughey’s official Instagram account, we first see the fifty-four-year-old with tail stiff and fur bristling steaming towards John John Florence, who has his arms raised.

Matthew McConaughey, wearing a black t-shirt that outlines a forceful torso and with blue shorts cradling his handsome glands, squats low and accepts John John Florence’s palm.

“Magic carpets,” writes McConaughey.

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Sean Connery
Sean Connery
2 years ago

What a waste of a man made wave

SaltyHB
SaltyHB
2 years ago
Gil Gunderson
Gil Gunderson
2 years ago

Fool’s Lemore

Gil Gunderson
Gil Gunderson
2 years ago

Lemore Thunder?

Gil Gunderson
Gil Gunderson
2 years ago

The Lemore Lawyer

Gil Gunderson
Gil Gunderson
2 years ago

A Time to Kook?

Gil Gunderson
Gil Gunderson
2 years ago

Lemore Buyers Club?

Gil Gunderson
Gil Gunderson
2 years ago

All left, all left, all left…

See what I did there? It’s because his tag line is….

*Sigh*

Sean Connery
Sean Connery
2 years ago
Reply to  Gil Gunderson

Ba dum tssssssss….

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago
Reply to  Sean Connery

he also starred in MUD!

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
2 years ago

Especially chicks like
Lucy Whatsherface

Sean Connery
Sean Connery
2 years ago

Lucy Needsanewhaircut

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago

Cheap divorces available…https://youtu.be/dKMCz1b2RxE?si=GEZ…

deeks
deeks
2 years ago

BEACHGRIT LITE like bud lite
but lighter.
Welcome back

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago
Reply to  deeks

got labias?

Jern
Jern
2 years ago

This is the sign vals have been waiting for. We are now part of the tribe. Amen

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
2 years ago
Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
2 years ago

Hes still got that corrosive soul in his eyes thing.

Otto
Otto
2 years ago

With that stance, it might just be the world’s most over exaggerated pull-my-finger fart joke.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago
Reply to  Otto

stick a digit or two and dial 911…and twist the dial in a circular motion…

Durban Poison
Durban Poison
2 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Inspired by Gabby no doubt

Otto
Otto
2 years ago
Reply to  Durban Poison

Gabby elevated it to an artsy fartsy level.

Com Turren
Com Turren
2 years ago

alright

Com Turren's vagina
Com Turren's vagina
2 years ago
Reply to  Com Turren

Incredible insight. I’d like to quote this in my upcoming book if your highness allows it, with full credit of course.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
2 years ago

Not having a great time in life at the moment Prince? it’ll pass.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

book Denise Richards for a roast…

Com Turren's vagina
Com Turren's vagina
2 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

All good here, just have some free time occasionally to mock the braindead self-obsessed dickheads who make surfers look like the world’s biggest fuckboys.

Call it a hobby if you will. Definitely don’t need advice from anyone here ✌️

You might wanna give some sympathetic words to wannabe Tom Curren too, I think he was actually sobbing while replying to me recently.

Looks like it hurt deeply enough that some of you cried to the mods for censorship 😭

Com Turren
Com Turren
2 years ago

don’t look at me—i want you to continue to have every opportunity to make yourself look like an absolute moron, so i’d be the last guy to try to flag any of your comments

Com Turren's vagina
Com Turren's vagina
2 years ago
Reply to  Com Turren

Weird how hard you were sobbing in one of your previous replies. But yeah “you don’t care at all!”

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
2 years ago

You may think you’re being edgy, but currently you’re coming across as the tut-tutting Karen of the braindead self obsessed dickheads comment section.

Com Turren's vagina
Com Turren's vagina
2 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

It’s absolutely impossible for me to give less of a fuck what you fools think. But keep squawking at me if it makes you feel better sweetie

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
2 years ago

Yet here you are squawking away.

Com Turren's vagina
Com Turren's vagina
2 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

When in Rome. IT’s sAtIrE you just don’t get it man, I’m too damn witty

Com Turren
Com Turren
2 years ago

alright alright

congratulations. you just walked over a McConaughey mine

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago
Reply to  Com Turren

tracked in mud…cue Snoop? not~

Com Turren's vagina
Com Turren's vagina
2 years ago
Reply to  Com Turren

I had a feeling you were wishing there were more high school girls in this story about him. Your quote tells me that’s EXACTLY where your mind went.

I bet you NEVER speed in a school zone.

Cuntry Singer
Cuntry Singer
2 years ago

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