"Magic carpets."
In the Hawaiian winter of 1995, the two world title combatants Rob Machado and Kelly Slater called a momentary truce in their crucial semi-final when the pair slapped palms after a Machado tube.
Of course, cynics were quick to claim that Kelly Slater swiped at Machado’s paw to force his opponent to stay on the wave longer than necessary and lose priority and, therefore, the world title.
I was there on the beach, as it happened, and it felt as if Slater was a cat carrying a dead bird in its mouth, eating his prey slowly, then licking himself clean.
Fast forward almost thirty years and we find the Hollywood hunk Matthew McConaughey, who stunned surf fans last September with an inspirational speech to Griffin Colapinto prior to the kid’s world title showdown with Filipe Toledo and which contained a still-unexplained prophecy, recreating the famous event at the Kelly Slater Surf Ranch.
In a two-shot sequence posted on Matthew McConaughey’s official Instagram account, we first see the fifty-four-year-old with tail stiff and fur bristling steaming towards John John Florence, who has his arms raised.
Matthew McConaughey, wearing a black t-shirt that outlines a forceful torso and with blue shorts cradling his handsome glands, squats low and accepts John John Florence’s palm.
“Magic carpets,” writes McConaughey.
View this post on Instagram
What a waste of a man made wave
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Fool’s Lemore
Lemore Thunder?
The Lemore Lawyer
A Time to Kook?
Lemore Buyers Club?
All left, all left, all left…
See what I did there? It’s because his tag line is….
*Sigh*
Ba dum tssssssss….
he also starred in MUD!
Especially chicks like
Lucy Whatsherface
Lucy Needsanewhaircut
Cheap divorces available…https://youtu.be/dKMCz1b2RxE?si=GEZ…
BEACHGRIT LITE like bud lite
but lighter.
Welcome back
got labias?
This is the sign vals have been waiting for. We are now part of the tribe. Amen
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Hes still got that corrosive soul in his eyes thing.
With that stance, it might just be the world’s most over exaggerated pull-my-finger fart joke.
stick a digit or two and dial 911…and twist the dial in a circular motion…
Inspired by Gabby no doubt
Gabby elevated it to an artsy fartsy level.
alright
Incredible insight. I’d like to quote this in my upcoming book if your highness allows it, with full credit of course.
Not having a great time in life at the moment Prince? it’ll pass.
book Denise Richards for a roast…
All good here, just have some free time occasionally to mock the braindead self-obsessed dickheads who make surfers look like the world’s biggest fuckboys.
Call it a hobby if you will. Definitely don’t need advice from anyone here ✌️
You might wanna give some sympathetic words to wannabe Tom Curren too, I think he was actually sobbing while replying to me recently.
Looks like it hurt deeply enough that some of you cried to the mods for censorship 😭
don’t look at me—i want you to continue to have every opportunity to make yourself look like an absolute moron, so i’d be the last guy to try to flag any of your comments
Weird how hard you were sobbing in one of your previous replies. But yeah “you don’t care at all!”
You may think you’re being edgy, but currently you’re coming across as the tut-tutting Karen of the braindead self obsessed dickheads comment section.
It’s absolutely impossible for me to give less of a fuck what you fools think. But keep squawking at me if it makes you feel better sweetie
Yet here you are squawking away.
When in Rome. IT’s sAtIrE you just don’t get it man, I’m too damn witty
alright alright
congratulations. you just walked over a McConaughey mine
tracked in mud…cue Snoop? not~
I had a feeling you were wishing there were more high school girls in this story about him. Your quote tells me that’s EXACTLY where your mind went.
I bet you NEVER speed in a school zone.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…