“One of the most memorable waves I’ve ever shared. In the wild
Australian desert with my buddy @anthony_walsh_
for a @gopro
trip. We tried this a few times but this was the one that worked
best.”
Anthony Walsh has long been a favourite of BeachGrit, his
paddler’s perspective of big Cloudbreak in 2018 viewed twenty
million or so times on YouTube.
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Kelly Slater (pictured) being a freak of
nature.
Wall Street explodes as “age-defying
biohacker” Kelly Slater introduces new skincare line
By Chas Smith
Freaks of Nature.
Kelly Slater is many things including, but not
limited to, rolling stone, 11x world surfing champion, Pipe Master,
Pro Pipeline, creative genius behind turtle moon sandals, Purps,
surfboards that don’t work as well as others and now, thrilling
Wall Street, the brains behind a new skincare line.
Per the press release:
Reaching out to you first to share news of a very exciting
(read: top secret) lifestyle brand launching from age-defying
biohacker + surfing legend Kelly Slater. Enter: Freaks of
Nature.
Debuting to the world on May 7th, Freaks of Nature
introduces the world’s cleanest, highest performing daily system to
strengthen + protect the skin barrier from Mother Nature’s fury.
Combining hi-tech form with function, Freaks of Nature is
strengthening + balancing the skin microbiome with two stellar
products at launch:
Deep Dive Moisturizer, $48
A high-tech natural moisturizing serum gel to build your
barrier and balance the skin microbiome with a novel post-biotic
bacillus ferment with a prebiotic effect, to enhance the skin
microbiome and brown algae extract to boost collagen and hydrate
the skin.
Daily Defender Sunscreen, $35
An essential SPF30 mineral sunscreen with plant-based water
resistance and formulated with B-Silk™, biofabricated vegan spider
silk, a microbiome-friendly biofilm to create an extra layer of
protection against environmental stressors.
Slater sat down exclusively with People magazine
and stated, “I was looking for a good SPF that would last a long
time [but] I’m really particular about what I use.”
The editorial team at The Inertia is rumored to be
taking the day off to bathe in vats full of Slater.
Florida teens caught dumping trash into
surf and “grotesquely humping air” turn themselves in to
authorities
By Chas Smith
"This is a teaching moment for all those involved.
Florida’s natural resources are precious."
And then in Florida. Just over a week ago, a
boat full of hopped up teenagers decided to attend a floating
bacchanal called “Boca Bash” which just so happens to take place in
the waters off increasingly popular south Florida. Whilst in route,
two of them, 16-year-old Michael Kirby and 15-year-old Charles
Ruth, were filmed lightening the load, as it were, by dumping the
contents of two full trashcans overboard. One then proceeded to
grotesquely “hump the air” as the drone hovered above.
As things happen, the video went viral and now the boys are in
very hot water, forced to turn themselves into authorities and
charged with third degree felony pollution.
The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission had
launched an investigation due pressure, leading to the arrests.
Chairman Rodney Barreto declared, “This is a teaching moment for
all those involved. Florida’s natural resources are precious, and
we should all do our part to protect them.”
One of the li’l felon’s families also released a statement
reading:
We take the responsibility of caring for our oceans and our
community very seriously, and we are extremely saddened by what
occurred last weekend at Boca Bash. We want to extend our sincerest
apologies to everyone who has been impacted and rightfully upset by
what occurred. Our family and our counsel have remained in touch
with FWC since we were first contacted by them and have continued
to cooperate with all authorities. As a family, we agree with FWC
Commissioner Rodney Barreto that this is a teaching moment for the
young kids involved and they should certainly participate in
community service and ocean conservation efforts to deepen their
understanding of the importance of our community and
environment.
But what do you think the boys will learn? To bring water
cannons aboard, next time, so they can shoot drones out of the sky
before dumping garbage overboard?
Wise.
And if you were Florida Gov. “Meatball” Ron DeSantis, what
punishment would you suggest?
Smart.
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Ben Affleck (insert) living his worst
nightmare.
Ben Affleck loses wife Jennifer Lopez to
adored surfer DJ Paul Fisher after embarrassing himself at Tom
Brady roast
By Chas Smith
Worst night ever?
There are bad evenings and then there is Ben
Affleck’s last night. Quite possibly the biggest individual bummer
of all time. The whole business began to go off the rails when the
Boston actor stepped to the microphone at Tom Brady’s roast. He was
immediately called
out, by those watching, for odd plastic surgery before
he opened his freshly sculpted mouth.
Now, as most know, a roast is an age old affair wherein some
rich or famous soul opens his or herself up to ridicule from
notable personalities. In Brady’s case, Kevin Hart teed off on his
ex-wife Gisele Bündchen, heavily linked to surf great Kelly Slater post
split, wound up with her longtime Brazilian jiujitsu
instructor.
The mini comedian began speaking about how Brady had left former
New England Patriots’ coach Bill Belichick high and dry for fleeing
the team some three years back.
“You f–ked him. You f–ked him good,” Hart declared. “You did,
Tom, you f–ked your coach, but let me tell you something people …
that’s what you’ve got to do to maintain your happiness. You
sometimes got to f–k your coach. You know who else f–ked their
coach? Gisele. She f–ked that karate man.”
Sizzle, but clearly in the spirit of the game.
Others, like comedian Nikki Glaser, highlighted Brady leaving
his then-pregnant girlfriend Bridget Moynahan for the
aforementioned Brazilian supermodel.
“But seriously, Tom, you’re the best to ever play for too long,”
she offered also forgetting Kelly Slater. “You retired, then you
came back and then you retired again, I get it, it’s hard to walk
away from something that’s not your pregnant girlfriend it’s
tough.”
Burn city.
And back to Affleck. The lightly talented 51-year-old took his
time to fire bullets at us, those “behind keyboards,” shooting,
“Fans have your back. You guys out there talking s – – t, all
right, behind your f – – king keyboard, that doesn’t make you a
fan. That makes you a bitch. I can’t think of a more f – – ked up,
dysfunctional, horrible working system designed to perpetually make
people feel awful,” he continued, referencing the BeachGrit
commentariat.
The audience sat stone-faced and he knew he had bombed though
that was not his biggest loss for news had leaked, moments earlier,
that his famous wife Jennifer Lopez was hooking up with the world’s
favorite surfing DJ Paul Fisher for a new track.
Setting the tone for summer 2024, Grammy-nominated DJ and
producer FISHER is teaming up with the inimitable Jennifer Lopez on
an adaptation of the icon’s 90’s classic ‘Waiting For Tonight’, out
May 3rd on his own label Catch & Release.
‘Waiting For Tonight’ offers a modern take on the original
Jennifer Lopez classic that became a global phenomenon after its
release in 1999. The record broke the Top 10 across multiple
Billboard charts, went multi-platinum in 5 countries including the
UK, Australia, France and Belgium, and simultaneously earned Lopez
her first Grammy nomination.
And there is absolutely zero way that Lopez didn’t swoon,
gazing at Fisher’s
elan with hungry eyes.
Respect and love for the bumblin’ stumblin’ fumblin’ hubby gone,
girl.
Ouch.
While mourning Ben Affleck do you care to snap along to the new
tune? Well, here you are.
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The thieves and alleged killers "approached with the
intention of stealing their vehicle and taking the tires and other
parts to put them on the older-model pickup they were
driving."
Surfers murdered in Baja for the tyres on
their Chevy Colorado pickup, say police
By Derek Rielly
The alleged killers "approached with the intention
of stealing their vehicle and taking the tires to put them on the
older-model pickup they were driving."
It ain’t no secret that life is cheap as hell in Mexico
and for all the dancing chihuahuas, lavish resorts in
Tulum, the sexy Don Julio soaked nights in Cabo and the
authenticity of the tacos prepared on outdoor hot plates on a warm
night where dancing and fireworks suggest you’ve landed in a
tropical paradise, you’re never too far from a grisly end.
The Baja California Prosecutor’s Office has now revealed the
reason why the trio were killed with chief state prosecutor María
Elena Andrade Ramírez telling press the thieves and alleged killers
“approached with the intention of stealing their vehicle and taking
the tires and other parts to put them on the older-model pickup
they were driving.
“When they (the foreigners) came up and caught them, surely,
they resisted. And these people, the assailants, took out a gun and
first they killed the one who was putting up resistance against the
vehicle theft, and then others came along and joined the fight to
defend their property and their companion who had been attacked,
and they killed them too.”
Randy Dible, a photographer from San Diego and friend of Callum
Robinson, has told the Australian press he’d directed Callum to a
wave in Baja called La Bocana, drawing a map on a napkin, after a
last-minute job meant he couldn’t join the trio.
“I told him about this place because I’d been travelling down
there all over that country for 30 years so I know it like the back
of my hand and I knew just where to go. I wish I’d never met up
with him that day, I feel really bad. I feel guilty. It’s just
starting to hit home.”
