“One of the most memorable waves I’ve ever shared. In the wild Australian desert with my buddy @anthony_walsh_ for a @gopro trip. We tried this a few times but this was the one that worked best.”
Anthony Walsh has long been a favourite of BeachGrit, his paddler’s perspective of big Cloudbreak in 2018 viewed twenty million or so times on YouTube.
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Kelly Slater (pictured) being a freak of nature.
Wall Street explodes as “age-defying biohacker” Kelly Slater introduces new skincare line
Kelly Slater is many things including, but not limited to, rolling stone, 11x world surfing champion, Pipe Master, Pro Pipeline, creative genius behind turtle moon sandals, Purps, surfboards that don’t work as well as others and now, thrilling Wall Street, the brains behind a new skincare line.
Per the press release:
Reaching out to you first to share news of a very exciting (read: top secret) lifestyle brand launching from age-defying biohacker + surfing legend Kelly Slater. Enter: Freaks of Nature.
Debuting to the world on May 7th, Freaks of Nature introduces the world’s cleanest, highest performing daily system to strengthen + protect the skin barrier from Mother Nature’s fury. Combining hi-tech form with function, Freaks of Nature is strengthening + balancing the skin microbiome with two stellar products at launch:
Deep Dive Moisturizer, $48
A high-tech natural moisturizing serum gel to build your barrier and balance the skin microbiome with a novel post-biotic bacillus ferment with a prebiotic effect, to enhance the skin microbiome and brown algae extract to boost collagen and hydrate the skin.
Daily Defender Sunscreen, $35
An essential SPF30 mineral sunscreen with plant-based water resistance and formulated with B-Silk™, biofabricated vegan spider silk, a microbiome-friendly biofilm to create an extra layer of protection against environmental stressors.
Slater sat down exclusively with People magazine and stated, “I was looking for a good SPF that would last a long time [but] I’m really particular about what I use.”
The editorial team at The Inertia is rumored to be taking the day off to bathe in vats full of Slater.
"This is a teaching moment for all those involved. Florida’s natural resources are precious."
And then in Florida. Just over a week ago, a boat full of hopped up teenagers decided to attend a floating bacchanal called “Boca Bash” which just so happens to take place in the waters off increasingly popular south Florida. Whilst in route, two of them, 16-year-old Michael Kirby and 15-year-old Charles Ruth, were filmed lightening the load, as it were, by dumping the contents of two full trashcans overboard. One then proceeded to grotesquely “hump the air” as the drone hovered above.
As things happen, the video went viral and now the boys are in very hot water, forced to turn themselves into authorities and charged with third degree felony pollution.
The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission had launched an investigation due pressure, leading to the arrests. Chairman Rodney Barreto declared, “This is a teaching moment for all those involved. Florida’s natural resources are precious, and we should all do our part to protect them.”
One of the li’l felon’s families also released a statement reading:
We take the responsibility of caring for our oceans and our community very seriously, and we are extremely saddened by what occurred last weekend at Boca Bash. We want to extend our sincerest apologies to everyone who has been impacted and rightfully upset by what occurred. Our family and our counsel have remained in touch with FWC since we were first contacted by them and have continued to cooperate with all authorities. As a family, we agree with FWC Commissioner Rodney Barreto that this is a teaching moment for the young kids involved and they should certainly participate in community service and ocean conservation efforts to deepen their understanding of the importance of our community and environment.
But what do you think the boys will learn? To bring water cannons aboard, next time, so they can shoot drones out of the sky before dumping garbage overboard?
Wise.
And if you were Florida Gov. “Meatball” Ron DeSantis, what punishment would you suggest?
Smart.
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Ben Affleck (insert) living his worst nightmare.
Ben Affleck loses wife Jennifer Lopez to adored surfer DJ Paul Fisher after embarrassing himself at Tom Brady roast
There are bad evenings and then there is Ben Affleck’s last night. Quite possibly the biggest individual bummer of all time. The whole business began to go off the rails when the Boston actor stepped to the microphone at Tom Brady’s roast. He was immediately called out, by those watching, for odd plastic surgery before he opened his freshly sculpted mouth.
Now, as most know, a roast is an age old affair wherein some rich or famous soul opens his or herself up to ridicule from notable personalities. In Brady’s case, Kevin Hart teed off on his ex-wife Gisele Bündchen, heavily linked to surf great Kelly Slater post split, wound up with her longtime Brazilian jiujitsu instructor.
The mini comedian began speaking about how Brady had left former New England Patriots’ coach Bill Belichick high and dry for fleeing the team some three years back.
“You f–ked him. You f–ked him good,” Hart declared. “You did, Tom, you f–ked your coach, but let me tell you something people … that’s what you’ve got to do to maintain your happiness. You sometimes got to f–k your coach. You know who else f–ked their coach? Gisele. She f–ked that karate man.”
Sizzle, but clearly in the spirit of the game.
Others, like comedian Nikki Glaser, highlighted Brady leaving his then-pregnant girlfriend Bridget Moynahan for the aforementioned Brazilian supermodel.
“But seriously, Tom, you’re the best to ever play for too long,” she offered also forgetting Kelly Slater. “You retired, then you came back and then you retired again, I get it, it’s hard to walk away from something that’s not your pregnant girlfriend it’s tough.”
Burn city.
And back to Affleck. The lightly talented 51-year-old took his time to fire bullets at us, those “behind keyboards,” shooting, “Fans have your back. You guys out there talking s – – t, all right, behind your f – – king keyboard, that doesn’t make you a fan. That makes you a bitch. I can’t think of a more f – – ked up, dysfunctional, horrible working system designed to perpetually make people feel awful,” he continued, referencing the BeachGrit commentariat.
The audience sat stone-faced and he knew he had bombed though that was not his biggest loss for news had leaked, moments earlier, that his famous wife Jennifer Lopez was hooking up with the world’s favorite surfing DJ Paul Fisher for a new track.
Setting the tone for summer 2024, Grammy-nominated DJ and producer FISHER is teaming up with the inimitable Jennifer Lopez on an adaptation of the icon’s 90’s classic ‘Waiting For Tonight’, out May 3rd on his own label Catch & Release.
‘Waiting For Tonight’ offers a modern take on the original Jennifer Lopez classic that became a global phenomenon after its release in 1999. The record broke the Top 10 across multiple Billboard charts, went multi-platinum in 5 countries including the UK, Australia, France and Belgium, and simultaneously earned Lopez her first Grammy nomination.
And there is absolutely zero way that Lopez didn’t swoon, gazing at Fisher’s elan with hungry eyes.
Respect and love for the bumblin’ stumblin’ fumblin’ hubby gone, girl.
Ouch.
While mourning Ben Affleck do you care to snap along to the new tune? Well, here you are.
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The thieves and alleged killers "approached with the intention of stealing their vehicle and taking the tires and other parts to put them on the older-model pickup they were driving."
Surfers murdered in Baja for the tyres on their Chevy Colorado pickup, say police
The alleged killers "approached with the intention of stealing their vehicle and taking the tires to put them on the older-model pickup they were driving."
It ain’t no secret that life is cheap as hell in Mexico and for all the dancing chihuahuas, lavish resorts in Tulum, the sexy Don Julio soaked nights in Cabo and the authenticity of the tacos prepared on outdoor hot plates on a warm night where dancing and fireworks suggest you’ve landed in a tropical paradise, you’re never too far from a grisly end.
The Baja California Prosecutor’s Office has now revealed the reason why the trio were killed with chief state prosecutor María Elena Andrade Ramírez telling press the thieves and alleged killers “approached with the intention of stealing their vehicle and taking the tires and other parts to put them on the older-model pickup they were driving.
“When they (the foreigners) came up and caught them, surely, they resisted. And these people, the assailants, took out a gun and first they killed the one who was putting up resistance against the vehicle theft, and then others came along and joined the fight to defend their property and their companion who had been attacked, and they killed them too.”
Randy Dible, a photographer from San Diego and friend of Callum Robinson, has told the Australian press he’d directed Callum to a wave in Baja called La Bocana, drawing a map on a napkin, after a last-minute job meant he couldn’t join the trio.
“I told him about this place because I’d been travelling down there all over that country for 30 years so I know it like the back of my hand and I knew just where to go. I wish I’d never met up with him that day, I feel really bad. I feel guilty. It’s just starting to hit home.”
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Jon Pyzel and Matt Biolos by @theneedforshutterspeed/Step Bros
