"The investigation will look into how the actor obtained the anaesthetic ketamine found in his system."
Tragedy struck hard, seven months ago, when the 54-year-old Canadian-American Matthew Perry was found unresponsive in his Pacific Palisades hot tub. The beloved actor, best known for bringing Chandler Bing to life on the sitcom Friends, had long struggled with substance abuse and the toxicology report, released weeks later, revealed cause of death to be drowning likely brought on by having too much ketamine in his system.
Surfers, worldwide, mourned as the dry witted Perry had just been rehabilitated after being extremely mean to surf icon Keanu Reeves but then, beautifully, walking back wishing the Point Break star dead.
The whole matter was then laid to rest until yesterday, when the Los Angeles Police Department, U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration and U.S. Postal Inspection Service opened up a probe into where the aforementioned ketamine had come from and how Perry had accessed such a great quantity.
Suspicion immediately swung toward the surf world. While it was assumed each and every surfer had forgiven Perry for wondering“Why is it that the original thinkers like River Phoenix and Heath Ledger die, but Keanu Reeves still walks among us?” might there have been one or two bad apples who had not?
Surfers are, of course, known derelicts and it would make much sense if the drug had come from a beach-adjacent source. Surf great Kelly Slater once even bemoaned the prevalenceof illicit substances on the professional surf tour, saying, “drugs are everywhere.”
Even more sense what with potential motive in play.
Thoughts?
More as the story develops either way.
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Filipe Toledo on a wave that probs felt a whole lot bigger when he was on it. The camera ain't always your friend.
Developing: World surf champ Filipe Toledo seen charging small Teahupoo in lead-up to Olympic showdown!
“Haters will hate but the dude charges harder than them…”
There is egg on the face of every surfer who’s ever been critical of Filipe Toledo’s ability to wrangle Teahupoo after the two-time world champ was spotted almost completing a four-foot tube there in the lead-up to July’s Olympic showdown.
Filipe Toledo, the twenty-nine-year-old San Clemente-based father of two, has long had to fend off suggestions he is scared of the joint after a series of underwhelming performances, including a zero-point heat total against Italo Ferreira in 2015 that was subsequently dubbed “A brave act of cowardice.”
More worldly voices, most notably BeachGrit’s own Chas Smith have suggested, however, that this fear of abrupt barrelling waves has all been a front, a game of rope-a-dope with the world.
What if, asked Chas back in December, Filipe’s masterplan was to make the world think he was too scared to paddle into a set at Teahupoo and then, with Olympic gold on the line, create one of the most unlikely wins in Games history?
Well, dreams do come true, as they used to say in Disney movies. And, earlier today, Filipe Toledo released footage of a four-foot tube almost successfully ridden.
“Quick trip to Teahupoo with Team Brazil,” writes an upbeat Toledo, failing to mention his grave disappointment at missing last week’s ten-foot swell, which was enjoyed by teenagers and girls alike.
Some surf fans were thrilled with Toledo’s four-foot tube and celebrated the achievement on his Instagram.
“Haters will hate but the dude charges harder than them,” writes one.
“Haters are fans in denial. If you have haters, you are doing something right,” agreed another.
However, the expert wave forecaster James Frazerhurst threw a cat among the birdies when he asked the above gents, “Please explain wtf happened vs Slater and Hedge…vs Ferreira 2015?????????”
“You’re talking about a back to back world champion who definitely gets barrelled at world class waves. Acting like having bad heats and bad days is not human. That’s also happened to people like Slater and Andy and the greats many times as well. Besides you wouldn’t even think of paddling into some of hte waves this guy surfs.”
Frazerhurst shoots back, “Bummer than the bad/off days have been when the waves are thick and heavy. People watching and following along might get the wrong idea about his charging-ness! Lucky you are here to tell them they don’t surf as good as him.”
Then, another sceptic, Harpy–Harvey, arrives.
“Show me when Kelly or Andy never caught a wave in a heat because it was too heavy for them please.”
“Stop hating Harpy. Not good for the soul. Just ’cause it’s not his best strength doesn’t mean the dude is not capable. Also, I’m not gonna go digging for details for your satisfaction. It has happened multiple times. The best in the world see him as a threat in any conditions. He would rock you in any heat anywhere for sure.”
Harpy Harvey retorts, “You’re not digging because there’s nothing to dig. The best in the world fear him in EVERYTHING but heavy surf especially heavy lefts. No hate, just facts.”
Then!
“Did you just watch that video or nah?”
“The barely overhead wave? Lol.”
“You would shit yourself. That’s a critical slabbing Chopes wave on very shallow sharp reef.”
And, so on.
The exchange also includes a cameo from Negatron himself who writes, wryly: “Charging harder than faceless nobody kook haters isn’t much of an achievement.”
Modern professional surfing is currently in what experts are calling its “Goldilocks and the Three Bears” phase. We have Kelly Slater, who has hung on way too long. We have John John Florence, who hung it up way too early. And we have Carissa Moore who has done it just right. You, of course, recall when the ever classy Hawaiian declared that she would be stepping away from the tour at the beginning of the year. That she would also be representing the United States, again, in the Olympics hoping for back to back gold.
“My favorite rides, the greatest thrills have come when I’ve paddled over the ledge even though my heart or my head is telling me not to, you know?” she gamely declared at the time. “The anxiety comes from ‘am I going to show up?’ I just want to be proud of myself. I want, at the end of the day, to be like, ‘Ok, I did my best. And I rose to the occasion,’ you know?”
Well, in a perfect turn, Moore has accepted a wildcard into the hours away Tahiti Pro. The 2024 Games will, maybe not coincidentally, be held at the exact same reef shelf in two-ish month’s time. A who’s who of surf celebrities celebrated the news via Instagram.
Shaper to the stars Matt Biolos offered, “Pedal to the metal.”
Post surf interview maestra AJ McCord added, “We love to see it!!! Have so much fun Riss.”
Big wave stud Shane Dorian penned, “It’s time” while adding a robust flexed arm likely juiced with the very latest in recovery aids.
While Moore’s decision is perfect, like each previous, there is still silence in Filipe Toledo’s camp. The timid small wave surfer will also be Olympic surfing and has already made a name for himself at the Cave of Skulls by refusing to paddle when it gets scary.
Should he have screwed up enough courage to wildcard himself?
Obviously.
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Nina Dobrev before (left) and after with Shaun White (insert) sad.
Shaun White’s actress girlfriend Nina Dobrev hospitalized after gruesome wipeout on “rabble kook scum” electric bike
"Charlatans all. Including of course the plebeian aspiring surf stars who whore themselves out to the lowest bidder."
Nina Dobrev, the longtime actress girlfriend of snowboard spectacular Shaun White is currently receiving care in a hospital after suffering a gruesome accident on an electric bicycle. The Canadian, who made a name for herself on The Vampire Diaries, had shared a self portrait straddling the machine, cheekily penning “How it started vs how it’s going” underneath.
The next slide should have included a trigger warning. The 35-year-old is lying on a hospital bed, possibly emergency room, with a neck brace, knee brace and maybe bicep brace.
Nina Dobrev (pictured) inert.
While not explaining what led to the accident, fans were quick to point out that she wasn’t wearing a helmet though her head does seem to be in working condition. Others, more famous like Sophia Bush, who recently came out as queer, wrote, “Nooooo! You poor babe,” while Dancing with the Stars’ Julianne Hough added, “That’s my girl! 🫠 Obviously wouldn’t make jokes if you were not ok…”
It was not necessarily obvious to those who know neither starlet.
BeachGrit readers will recall the e-bike furor that engulfed our surfing world two years ago when shaper Tyler Warren circulated a petition to have them banned at Lower Trestles. Andy St Onge, author, responded, “The recreational integrity of surfing has been so hopelessly degraded by the combined compounded impact of unrestrained commercialism with hordes of par venu kooks and their endless gear fetishes. Charlatans all. Including of course the plebeian aspiring surf stars who whore themselves out to the lowest bidder. Rabble kook scum one and all.”
BeachGrit readers will also recall when conservative longboard firebrand Joel Tudor posted a video of e-bikes becoming washed away and declared it, “the greatest moment in rewind history.”
So, after the latest Dobrev dustup, where do you stand on e-bikes? Still the future of transportation or a grave menace?
More as the story develops.
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"One thing I would love to do with surfing is retire from it," says Chas. "I would to to retire from surfing, not as an old man, aged and broken. I would like to retire from surfing in my prime."
Chas Smith salutes the glittering career of retiring world surf champ John John Florence
In this, the 100th episode of Chas Smith Hates Surfing, Chas salutes the glittering career of John John Florence
“One thing I would love to do with surfing is retire from it,” says Chas. “I would retire from surfing, not as an old man, aged and broken, I would like to retire from surfing in my prime.
“And that is what we have John John Florence doing. He has thrilled since he was a pint-sized tow-head packing barrels at Pipeline. An impressive young man who grew into an impressive older man.”
But, says Chas, “When people retire in their prime, who’s to blame? I think we know who’s to blame. The World Surf League.”
