“California” Kamala Harris endeavors to claw surf vote back from Donald Trump after shock Biden drop out

"That’s why for the first time in this publication’s 60-year history, we’re endorsing a presidential ticket..."

Unprecedented political days, as they say, in the United States of America. Last week, presidential candidate Donald J. Trump was nicked by an ear bullet during a rally and, thus, solidified his grip on the all-important surf vote. As you know, the margins are razor thin between the two major parties, Republican and Democrat, making every bloc essential. The assassination attempt swung surfers hard toward Trump with stars like the Queen of Pipeline Moana Jones, who declared, “That’s my president.” Big wave stud Mark Zuckerberg followed by describing Trump as a “badass” and will likely use his great interest to win over fans like Billy Kemper.

Except not so fast. Mere hours ago, the entire race was pitched on its ear as the Democratic candidate Joe Biden dropped out of the race and endorsed his vice president Kamala Harris. Surf political watchers, of course, know that Harris hails from California, a state that boasts more surfers than anywhere else in the union. Also, of note, she was the first and last candidate to become endorsed by Surfer Magazine when her and the aforementioned Biden ran against Trump last time.

“It sucks to be a surfer in America right now,” then Surfer editor-in-chief Todd Prodanovich penned in 2020. Things suck for everyone, not just surfers, of course, but since this is SURFER.com, we’re talking specifically about how it sucks for surfers, and what can be done in this year’s presidential election to mitigate the suckage moving forward. And while ‘keep politics out of surfing’ has become a common refrain on social media these days, the fact is that what’s happening in American politics has everything to do with surfing. That’s why for the first time in this publication’s 60-year history, we’re endorsing a presidential ticket—the ticket for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris.”

Surfer, of course, went belly up weeks later, was buried in a shallow grave, exhumed by prospectors, stuffed artificial intelligence and re-presented to the general public as “real.” No telling if the bots will endorse Harris again, this time around, but precedent is precedent.

In any case, wild times and does Harris’ rise to the top of the ticket change the way you feel? The view from this French side of the Atlantic is… well, difficult to say as its being seen through rosé colored lenses but one thing I can state, affirmatively, is the surf vote will be under a microscope over these coming few months.

Buckle up, friends.